Anyone else?

lrichmond86

Does anyone else find that the farther away you get from your loss the more difficult it becomes to communicate with DH or your SO?  Right after we lost baby Gary, DH and I were closer than ever.  We cried with each other and talked about our feelings all the time.  Now I feel like we're rarely on the same page with how we're feeling.  Is this normal?  And does it get better? 

Auki13

Yes, and it was especially difficult around 3 months for me too.  At that point I didn't feel like we would ever be on the same page again, but I can tell you honestly it's getting better.  After the 6 month mark we started reconnecting again.  I felt like I wanted to talk about Annabelle more and more, and he wanted to talk and think about her less.  It was frustrating for both of us.  It is totally normal and I hope you two can get on the same page again soon.  (HUGS)

pottermommy

Yes, I think it is because after a few weeks/months they begin to store their feelings and hide what they feel from anyone but themselves.  They try to look strong I think. 

And they don't understand why we don't do the same or how we can live with the emotions so close to the surface.

cherrycobbler

I think we got that way too.  It got to the point where I just didn't want to talk with him at all.  It wasn't things just related to our loss, but it seemed like every word that he spoke was just annoying.  I had to tell him that I found him irritating and that I knew it was related to the loss and I would get over it, but that I needed a little space.  He didn't really like that, but he understood and he did leave me alone a bit. That was a few months ago.  Things are better for me now and it seems like that was just another lovely dip in the emotional roller-coaster. Every day is new.  Just because I had a bad day yesterday and didn't get along with  DH, does not mean that today will be the same.  I hope that makes sense.  I know how you feel, things will get better, (hugs).

samakasrc

I'm going through this same thing right now. We were so close through everything, now he rarely wants to talk about it and I want to talk about it all the time. Its SO frustrating at times. Finally today I just blurted it out - "I was just having such a hard day, I don't know what started it but I just kept randomly crying. Then I got angry and then I got over it"  He thanked me for talking to him about it. Don't know if thats headway or not.

lrichmond86

That makes me feel better, ladies.  I told him last night that I already lost one of my boys, I don't want to lose both of them.  The distance is hard, but knowing that this is just another part of the process makes it a little easier.

nuttycoconut

Yes! Thanks for posting this because I'm going through the same thing. I've been wondering wth happened! I want to talk about the babies all of the time and he changes the subject or gives me a "not now" look. He didn't even want to look at their sunsets that I got a few days ago! I feel more alone than ever and it really sucks. We used to be on the same page and he was my rock and now I don't know who to talk about when I'm having a terrible day because I don't want to bring him down.