XP: Deciding factor in having 3 kids instead of 2?

seb09

MH and I have 2 kids.  He wants one more and I'm just not sure.  I don't think I'm up for going through the whole pregnancy/childbirth/newborn/no sleep phase.  We're stable financially and in all other aspects, but sometimes I feel like there's no way I can go through it all again.  But then I look at my kids and think, dang!  I really want another one!!!  Was there a deciding factor for you, or some sort of ah-ha moment that you just KNEW to have another, or to NOT have another?

LittleD8081

I feel your pain.  We have no reason in the world to not have another one (financially, etc.).  However, I just don't know...but, then again I really want another one...but, not right now...but someday maybe...before we get too, too old...but then we're starting over again...but, I'd be sad if my current baby was my last baby.  See, I'm a mess when it comes to this.  I think about this at least once per day.  I just don't know if I could muster the mental energy needed to go through a pregnancy with two other kids in tow...or the newborn phase and nursing the baby while I'm trying to tend to two needy kids.  But...I want to do it again.  One day, I think it will hit me that I'm "ready" to TTC again and that will be my deciding factor. Until then, I'm just a basketcase of a girl who fears the worst.   

iteachk

I always figure that I'll never regret having a third, but may regret NOT having another.

MammaBear81

My body does not like to be pregnant (the only time I was a glowing pregnant woman was when the light was shining off the beads of sweat after vomiting all day everyday).  That being said I knew there was an "end date" it was only 9 months, and I had the rest of my life to enjoy my babies.  DH and I wanted a big family, but we agreed to take it one child at a time.  Generally from 0-3 months DH says "we are never having another one" and then the tides change as the LO gets bigger and we talk about another one.  There are many factors that go into our decision, but if a hard pregnancy and a few sleepless nights were there only thing holding me back, I'd go for it.  Good luck with your decision!

shopgirl78

The deciding factor is:  whether you like your sanity or not.....

I always wanted 3, it was harder than I expected though.  No joke. 

LoveEeyore

Mentally, when DD#1 was about 3 months old it was like this ooze/mush of pride and protection while I was holding her and it was like, I'm going to give her at least 2 siblings so that she'll never likely have to take care of us/handle our estate, deal with anything tragic alone.  Or should #2 have a disability or one of them have something wrong.... basically I wanted to have a built in support system for her so that no matter what happened there would be someone on her side. 

I have 5 siblings (half and step) and I don't have that- II know busting out of the same uterus isn't a guarantee, but it sure increases the odds.  In that one moment I knew 3 was my number.

DH was 2 kids. 4.5 years apart.  1 boy.  1 girl.  That's it.  Lucky for me the minipill was a bust and I got twins.  Only now I want more and feel cheated of a pregnancy- LOL.

katlizabeth

We haven't decided yet, but we don't think we can go through that early stage again either.  Then a few days ago I told dh that we can't make that decision based upon that-although that period of no sleep etc. sucks, it really is over fast.

megann831

I always wanted a big family, but now I realize the scarifies may not be worth it.  I've really gotten to love the idea of having a boy and girl, DH and do special sports things with DS while I can do nails, dance, and dress up.  It will be nice to take both of our kids places they can enjoy while they're young (amusement parks/ shows) without having to worry about 1 being too old or too young.  I'm also really looking forward to sleeping and not having to pay for childcare.

If we did do a 3rd, it would have to be when DD is in kindergarten, so luckly I started early enough to give myself a little time to change my mind.

schnappycat

Well, I have fertility issues, so a third would be tough for us in any case. We have considered it, but we are old (almost 40), have no family here, and I'm just capable of coping with a baby again. Not a fan of the baby stage. I also get NO "me" time at all right now and nearly go batty most days. 

Aside from that, I also thought about it practically. We would have to get a new car to accommodate another child. Big expense. I've had people with a family of 5 tell me how much more difficult just going out to eat is and how a table for 5 is harder to come by at restaurants. We eat out often, so this is a consideration for us. Not to mention the pure cost of eating out with another person. Same with airplane flights--you have to add another plane ticket. Plus there would be college savings (we save quite a bit for each kid), the cost of kiddie classes/leagues, etc. Finally, we would lose our guest room in our home if we added another kid, which would be a huge issue because my high-maintenance mom comes to visit pretty often. So we might actually have to consider moving to a larger home.

Given all of those things, another child is not in the cards for us. Perhaps if we were younger and had family nearby, we might go for it. But not in the current state of things. 

mbgreenwalt

I've always only wanted 2 children.  I think about having more because I enjoyed being pregnant and the newborn phase (I had 2 really easy babies), but I know it just isn't the right decision for us.  I was going to get the Essure procedure done after DD#2, but couldn't 100% for sure say I was done.  I have had an IUD placed instead, that will give me 5 years to make a definitive decision.  I just like the idea of being a family of 4 and it makes financial sense for us.  Also, DH and I are not outnumbered and they each get a window seat in the car...no fighting (DH and I both come from families of 3 siblings)!

jenn_darrin1515

We go back and forth daily...some days I daydream about adding to our family...some days I barely survive with the 2 I have and I think he!! no!  but we are still undecided...and right now I really like our family of 4...but part of me would really like to experience having a singleton/pregnancy and stupidly thinks it will be an easier transition from 2-3 than 0-2 was...we still don't know....financially we are waiting until after the girls turn 3 to decide (so we would only have dc for 3 for 1 year...)

SemperFiPurpleHeart

We would like to have 4 total. TTC#2 right now. Not really a deciding factor, we both want a big family. He grew up in a large family and I always wanted more siblings growing up...