Two Under 2
To Announce or NOT To Announce?
I will be 11 weeks on my son's 1st birthday. We are planning a huge party and all of our family and friends will be in attendance. It seems like a great opportunity to announce our pregnancy but I'm worried it will overshadow the reason we are all gathering. I want to keep the attention on our little guy and celebrating the wonderful year we've had as a family.
Would it be more respectful to my son to wait a few more weeks? (Knowing we will likely have to tell most of the attendees over the phone since we won't see many of them for several months.)
I'm looking for your opinions (and hopefully some of you have dealt with similar situations.)
TIA!
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Re: To Announce or NOT To Announce?
I announced "at" a cousin's wedding because it was the only time I was going to see my family until... well, we didn't have plans, but it turned out being from then until my daughter was born (would have been longer without her). I didn't announce at the wedding itself but I did share with everyone while we were gathered in the few days before. It wasn't a big deal at all and we were still very focused on the wedding.
I have a friend who announced "at" her son's 1st birthday party. She was also 11 weeks and she told family as they came into town, so most of them heard the night before. People who were at the party who were not family (like me) were just told individually while we were all hanging out. It didn't overshadow at all when done that way. Personally I was distracted by it because I was about 8 weeks at the time and hadn't announced but I did tell her on the sly and it was nice to know we'd be pregnant together.
Sadly my friend miscarried the following week (technically it was a missed miscarriage from a few weeks prior) and though she didn't regret sharing I do wonder if that memory is bittersweet for her.
Dammit KC. Once again you and I share a brain. I'd wait until towards the end of the party, but definitely do it then.
Great minds think alike!
I 100% agree - if it was me, I would wait until your DS has had his cake (nice & messy) take the opportunity to go change his clothes and have him come out to the gathering in an "I'm going to be a big brother" t-shirt.
Enjoy!
I was in a similar situation. I took a pregnancy test a week & a half before DS's 1st b'day & was shocked to find out I was pregnant (we were not trying). I went to the doctor the next week & was even more shocked to find out I was almost 12 weeks along.
I debated about telling everyone at DS's party (which was not a big thing, just low-key lunch & cake at our house with family), thought about making favors that said something about "big brother" so that it wouldn't come out til the end & wouldn't take away from him, but ultimately we went around & told everybody before the party since I was so far along.
I wasn't exactly worried about overshadowing him (because he won't remember, etc.), but more that I wasn't sure what our family's reaction would be. We were not planning to have them so close together, and nobody in our family was on pins & needles waiting for us to have another baby or anything, so I didn't want a bust of a reaction at the party.
All our family is in town though, so we still told most of them in person - I can see how it would be different if it either had to be at the party or on the phone.
If it were me I would wait, but that is just me. We were TTC around DD's first birthday and I remember being in a similar situation (except I did not end up being pregnant). I remember worrying about over shadowing her and her *big* day and although she would never remember I knew I would. I felt like I was taking something from her so I remember deciding if we were indeed pregnant at that time I would just keep it hush hush for another day or so.
That is just me though, everyone is different.