Curious - How'd You Feel After M/L was over?

RobinaUMCP

So I FINALLY had a talk with my boss about my M/L and it went well. She told me that I definitely will get the company alloted FMLA time of 12 weeks, but we could revisit how I would like to use the other 4 weeks that I orginally requested around the 12 week mark. I am very happy about having this flexibility. So I'm curious how everyone felt when their leave was up. So if you took/got 6 weeks, 20 weeks, whatever - were you ready to go back to work when it was time? Or, did you decide after being home to come back part-time or extend your leave a little longer? Interested to see where others have fallen on this.

TIA!

algalphys

I got a year off at 55% of my earnings from the past year (In Canada, governement employment insurance covers it).  I actually went back about 3 weeks early and I was ready to go back.  My work scene has changed some, I took a job with a new company, work from home about 75 to 80% of the time and my mom watches DS when DH is working (he's a shift worker so we only need a sitter about 11 days a month) so that all factored into my feeling like going back sooner.  Now if I had had to go back full time when DS was 3 months old and had a random sitter (no matter how good they are) that might have affected how I felt.  But after being off so long, I an sure that being a SAHM is NOT for me.

EastCoastBride

I went back after 12 weeks.

I vividly remember at 6 weeks SO not "being ready" (a friend went back after 6 weeks, that's why it was on my mind).  I wasn't feeling fully myself yet - I felt VERY happy that I had more time.

At 8 weeks, I remember thinking "O.k. - if I HAD to go back now, I could.  But man, I'm glad I have 4 more weeks".

The last 4 weeks were really great and I enjoyed them.  At the end, I actually felt ready to come back (I'm not SAHM material!).  Would I have liked a few more weeks?  Sure.  But it wasn't a make or break situation for me.

DTNZ4Ever

I took off 12 weeks. I was ready to go back to work but I wasn't ready to leave DS in DC if that makes sense. It was a transition but I love being a working Mom.

mairanellis

I got 10 weeks off (actually closer to 11 since I gave birth before my due date).  I started feeling normal after 7 weeks, and was ready to be back in the office by week 10.  When I went back to work, my MIL stayed with us for 2 months, and then DH took paternity leave for 2 months after that.  DS didn't start daycare until he was 6 months old, so I think that's why I was more in the mindframe that I didn't mind going back to work at 10 weeks.

LouRN09

I only had 7 weeks off (6 weeks for real, and then I switched some days with coworkers to stretch to 7). I hadnt been there a year so I couldnt use FMLA. Thankfully, DS was sleeping pretty well through the night, so that was a plus. I feel like at that time, I was ready to get back to normalcy, and into the routine of "real life". I knew laying around nursing a baby all day wasnt reality! I would have LOVED more time off, but I did okay going back when I did. Granted, I am an RN and work 3 days a week (12 hr shifts) so having 4 days off is always a plus!

WinesNotWhines

My office allows up to 6 months of maternity leave. I planned to take the full 6 months, with the option of going back early if I felt ready. I did not feel ready after 3 months, which is "standard" in the US. We ended up getting a spot at our daycare when my son was 5 months old, so I went back part-time at that point. I felt ready, and I was even looking forward to it.

mylittlesunshine

I only got 6 weeks with DD and it wasn't enough. I like being a working mom and think anywhere from 10-12 weeks would have been good. At 6 weeks I still felt as if she was so little and needed me. She started SSTN around 8 weeks or so, so luckily I was getting some sleep, but had she not, it would have been hard being tired AND trying to keep up at work. By 12 weeks she was bigger and we had a great routine down.

mplesset23

I was off for 12 weeks, but I had to go out 2 weeks early due to being in lots of pain and a long commute in the car to work.  So technically I was with my LO for 10 weeks.  If I had it to do over again I would make sure I was home with my LO for 12-13 weeks. 

Tink112011

EastCoastBride:

I went back after 12 weeks.

I vividly remember at 6 weeks SO not "being ready" (a friend went back after 6 weeks, that's why it was on my mind).  I wasn't feeling fully myself yet - I felt VERY happy that I had more time.

At 8 weeks, I remember thinking "O.k. - if I HAD to go back now, I could.  But man, I'm glad I have 4 more weeks".

The last 4 weeks were really great and I enjoyed them.  At the end, I actually felt ready to come back (I'm not SAHM material!).  Would I have liked a few more weeks?  Sure.  But it wasn't a make or break situation for me.

This sums up how I felt too! 

2-Step

EastCoastBride:

I went back after 12 weeks.

I vividly remember at 6 weeks SO not "being ready" (a friend went back after 6 weeks, that's why it was on my mind).  I wasn't feeling fully myself yet - I felt VERY happy that I had more time.

At 8 weeks, I remember thinking "O.k. - if I HAD to go back now, I could.  But man, I'm glad I have 4 more weeks".

The last 4 weeks were really great and I enjoyed them.  At the end, I actually felt ready to come back (I'm not SAHM material!).  Would I have liked a few more weeks?  Sure.  But it wasn't a make or break situation for me.

This is exactly how I felt too. 

skyejo

I went back at 16 weeks and I wasn't ready.  I don't know if I would have ever been ready though. DD was very high needs and didn't start to calm down a bit until 14w so I was a nervous wreck about her going to daycare until my leave was almost over.

The first week was rough but it got easier.  I love that I work and am SO glad that I didn't decide to stay home like I was considering while on leave. 

amyc216

I took 12 weeks and was really bummed when it was time to go back to work.  I really wanted to SAH.  Getting back into work took about 2 weeks.  However, I've been back for almost 3 months and my mind wanders to DS a lot.

seahorse102410

Sad.  Very sad.  But I was worried about what was going on at work without me.

KatieMarie27

I must be the odd one, because I only took 4 1/2 weeks and was ready to come back (currently on day 4 of first week back).  I actually did a lot of work during that month off - had conference calls, came in for work meetings, responded to e-mails.

I do miss LO, but she is mainly active in the evening, so I get a lot of interaction with her.  During the day she tends to sleep until 12 and then takes 2 long naps.  She is awake maybe 2 1/2 hours between 8 and 5.  She also only wakes up once a night, so I am getting plenty of rest.

I am looking forward to the weekend though so I can spend even more time with her, but I don't feel any guilt or regret for going back to work 

ksyknelvr73

I want to go part-time or be able to work from home a couple days a week and I chickened out. But honestly, I was ready to go back at least MOSTLY...I was going a little stir-crazy at home. I am not cut out to be a SAHM.

madladybride

I was induced 4 weeks early due to slow growth. DD was a high needs baby and we didn't really get good at bfing until about 6 weeks . (I was still using a nipple shield until 8 wks). I went back pt at 10 weeks and then at 13 I was back full-time. On the one hand, it was nice to get adult interaction during the day and not have to hold a crying baby, but I hoped that she would be ok with out me and I really missed her.

I don't think I could be a SAHM (at least on what our income would be, but if I won the megamillions, well..), but I want A LOT more flexibility in my hours and a shorter commute. For me, part-time would be an ideal balance of working and family/personal life.

QueSrah

I felt like I *should* take the 16 weeks under DC FMLA, and I think I went back right at 15 weeks.  I should have gone back sooner - being home with a colicky infant all day was driving me a little nutty.

jnealet

With D1, I was ready to go back to work but not ready to leave her.  I was off for 12 weeks.

With D2, mentally I was ready to go back at 2 weeks.  Then reality hit and I went back and forth between wanting to go back and wanting to be home with my baby...and wanting a full night's sleep.    At 12 weeks, when I came back to work, I was fine and things went well.

AmyCC1980

I went back at 12 weeks.  Physically I was ok I guess, but emotionally I was a mess.  I really wanted to be a SAHM.  It took me a really long time to get into the swing of being a working mom. 

thedash

I went back at 8 1/2 weeks. For the last one or two weeks I was hysterical. I didn't want to leave him or go back to work at all. I told DH over and over again that I made a huge mistake not taking 12 weeks. I thought it was too late to change but looking back I should have just called my boss and said I need more time. DH took a 10 week paternity leave beginning when I went back so it wasn't about leaving the baby with someone else. I just had a rough delivery with emergency C section and was slow to recover and adjust to a newborn. 

Neva&Jack

I went back after 12 weeks with #1 and 6 months with #2.  I think the anticipation with both was much worse than actually going back.  I really enjoyed having all of the extra time with #2, but once he was sleeping through the night I felt like I could have managed going back.  Sleep makes you feel like a new person!  Good luck!

carig63

I went back early because being home was making me kray-zay! Was going to take the full 12 weeks FMLA, but wanted to be out again by 8 weeks. Went back after 10 weeks and 1 day of leave, and thank GOD I did!

Anne Mommy

I went back at 12 weeks and was wanting to go back at around 7 weeks. I really needed to have an adult to talk to. The only think I would recommend is to start in the middle of the week. That way the first week back is only two or three days. It's a hard adjustment no matter how long you are off.

SoldiersGreenBean

EastCoastBride:

I went back after 12 weeks.

I vividly remember at 6 weeks SO not "being ready" (a friend went back after 6 weeks, that's why it was on my mind).  I wasn't feeling fully myself yet - I felt VERY happy that I had more time.

At 8 weeks, I remember thinking "O.k. - if I HAD to go back now, I could.  But man, I'm glad I have 4 more weeks".

The last 4 weeks were really great and I enjoyed them.  At the end, I actually felt ready to come back (I'm not SAHM material!).  Would I have liked a few more weeks?  Sure.  But it wasn't a make or break situation for me.

This describes my feelings almost exactly. 

Lena122

EastCoastBride:

I went back after 12 weeks.

I vividly remember at 6 weeks SO not "being ready" (a friend went back after 6 weeks, that's why it was on my mind).  I wasn't feeling fully myself yet - I felt VERY happy that I had more time.

At 8 weeks, I remember thinking "O.k. - if I HAD to go back now, I could.  But man, I'm glad I have 4 more weeks".

The last 4 weeks were really great and I enjoyed them.  At the end, I actually felt ready to come back (I'm not SAHM material!).  Would I have liked a few more weeks?  Sure.  But it wasn't a make or break situation for me.

This is exactly how I felt. My 11th week is up this week and I go back on Monday. Mentally and physically I'm ready to go back but I'm dreading it simply because I'm not happy with my work situation right now. If I had a job that I liked than I'd be completely ready.

RobinaUMCP

I appreciate everyone's thoughtful responses. We just bought a house, so I KNOW I am going back. I am also pretty sure I am not SAHM material. But it was nice to read the full variety emotions and reasoning behind the decisions you guys made. So thanks again!

kristennd

I only had paid leave for six weeks. After three weeks home, I decided it would be better to go back half-time for six weeks and get a longer, more gradual transition back. It worked very well. The lack of adult interaction and familiar routines was already getting to me mentally after the three weeks.

kenldav

I'm getting 6 weeks paid off but can take an additional 6 of fmla if I want but it will be unpaid. DD is 4weeks old some only have 2 weeks left. In a way I feel ready to go back to work and get back into the routine of things but I'm dreading putting her in daycare and being away from her all day

stephy1221

I took 13weeks off and returned part tilt to start. I went back to my full time schedule when LO was 6 months old. I didn't realize how much I missed the routine and adult company until I returned. I think part time would be ideal for me but it doesn't mesh with my earning potential on part time hours and the cost of daycare.

cougarlicious

 I went back at 12 weeks.  DS was such a fussy baby that I was counting down the days to go back!  I was looking forward to adult conversation, being able to pee and eat uninterrupted, and do something other than sit on a couch with a baby that refused to sleep unless he was on me.  I adore my son but I was going bonkers.  He still woke up every two hours until I did CIO at five months and didn't sleep through the night until 11 months so I think the hardest part was functioning at work with such little sleep.  But your body gets used to it, and now I look back and am amazed at how the past year went. if we have a second, I would still go back at 12 weeks, although the next time around I would take a month prior to delivery (I worked all the way until delivery with DS).

Margaret Lemon

I had almost 6 months off. Went back last week and am SAD!! I loved every bit of ML. Also I had a rough CS, so I was out of it the first 6 weeks. 

After that, I fell into a groove of SAHM activities like library story hour, play groups, museum time, etc   Loved it all. But, my job lures me back with good pay and great benes. 

I have learned from this board to make no decisions the first month back. So, I am trying to like our new daycare/work/pump/etc routine and see how it goes.  

jenny1980

I went back 3 days/week when DD was 5.5 months-ish. It was plenty of time. For the next baby, I plan to take more like 16 weeks.

 

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