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Its over...

glueckglueck member
in Infertility

Well, in spite of all hopes and prayers, the inevitable has arrived, and her name is PERIOD. My poor body has just been through hell and back in the last days. I'm numb. I think I will be until I can get out of this hospital. 

I met with one of the RE's here in the hospital, and he thinks he has a plan for me. It requires a hairy surgery to get my tubes out. He thinks once the infection is gone, he can do it laparoscopically but would have a GI doc on the room for emergencies.  Then there would be no more chance for infection. I hope MH will be on board with the surgery. After all this, he might not go for it. 

Gulp. We are OOP. I feel like with this infection, I feel like we took our many thousands and flushed them down the toilet. We didnt have a chance.  

Sorry about the stream of consciousness typing... And thanks for the support through this nightmare, ladies. I am so grateful.  

imageimage

TTC#1 since October 2010

"The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be...because of all I may become I will close my eyes and leap." Mary Anne Radmacher

Me:35, 5 major abdominal surgeries for Ulcerative colitis, failed j pouch, perm. Ileostomy DX-DOR & Tubal abnormalities/Extensive Adhesions from earlier surgeries.latest fsh -26 :(

IVF 1- March 2012 Antagonist Protocol; BCP until March 3; AFC this cycle is 10 (Hooray); Start stims on March 9; ER on March 19- 2R; 2T (1 perfect 8 cell, 1 scrappy 3 cell); tubal infection from ER-hospitalized. Doomed! BFN

Essure Procedure to treat bilateral hydrosalpinx; June 2012, wait 3 months for confirmation test.

IVF2 (Egg Banking)-letrozole/antagonist cycle; June/July 2012 225iu merional + cetrotide; slow responder, Ovulated before ER. Unbelievable. Canceled remaining cycles with my eggs

DE IVF in Brno, Czech. Approx. ET on Oct 6 CANCELLED-Essure didn't close both tubes-test again in 3 months

IVF3-DE IVF ET on Dec 9, 2012 (decided to roll the dice no matter what!)

2 perfect HB transferred; 8dp5dt beta:36; 10dp5dt beta 15; chemical pregnancy.

Turning our hearts toward adoption

DH:36, SA-perfect

Married since July 11, 2009

Fur baby Cairn Terrier

SAIF/PAIF Welcome

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Re: Its over...

  • Jenny935Jenny935 member
    I'm so so sorry. Thinking of you today.
    Married 6/08, TTC 7/09
    MC w/ D&C 3/11 ~ 9.5 weeks
    CP/MC 1/12 ~ 5 weeks
    2 IUI's w/ BFN
    IVF 6/12 ~ 8R, 0F ~ Rescue ISCI gave us 3dt of 2 (6 cell, 9+ cell)
    DS born ~ 3/3/13
    IVF 6/14 ~ Operation Sibling ~ 10R, 5F ~ 5dt of 1 Blast
    Beta 1: 1600+, Beta 2: 4588
    Everyone Welcome!
    image image
    Pregnancy Ticker image

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  • ge0rgege0rge
    I'm so very sorry!  Thoughts and prayers are with you.....
    Married 07.30.2011 TTC 07.2011 DX DOR 02.12 1st NC-IVF 03.12: RE could not retrieve egg 2nd NC-IVF 04.12: converted to IUI
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  • d3esikad3esika member
    I'm sorry. You have been through so much. FX you can heal up quickly now.
    Dx: LPD, late ovulation;
     July 2012:IUI #6 on 7/28, BFP on 8/9,beta 97, 8/11 189, 8/13 400!!   DS born 4/18!
    9/30/13 - Miracle BFP, released from RE 10/21, EDD 6/6/14, DD born 5/27!
    6/19/16 - Miracle BFP, EDD 2/25/17

     image






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  • kellygksukellygksu
    I'm so sorry. I hope that you heal quickly and can get home soon.
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  • delinodelino member
    I'm so sorry. This is such an incredibly difficult journey and it's not fair that you have to endure this on top of everything else.
    3 ectopic pregnancies (EDD's 1/30/12-tube removed, 6/2/12-methotrexate and 10/2/12-methotrexate)
    IVF and Natural FET resulted in BFN's and a hole in our wallets
    Natural BFP #4 on 9/7/12 gave us our miracle on 5/18/13
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • 4legsRbest4legsRbest member
    I am so very sorry! You are in my thoughts and I am hoping for a speedy resolution and easy surgery for you. Big hugs!
    Me: 37 DH: 40 TTC since 9/09
    #1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
    IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
    #1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
    #1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
    H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
    #2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
    M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!

      Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • chels38026chels38026
    Oh glueck, I am so so sorry, Sending you great big (((HUGS)))!
    After 5 TI Clomid cycles, 5 IUIs, and 2 IVFs we finally got our BFP!
    Beta#1 (12dp3dt)= 353, Beta#2 (15dp3dt)= 1466, Beta#3 (22dp3dt)= 14,139, First u/s: TWINS!!
    After 10 weeks of bedrest, our two little ladies joined us at 28w6d
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    I'm so sorry.  I hope you get out of the hospital soon and can move on to next steps.
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  • kaf7kaf7 member
    I'm so sorry. IBD and IF sucks. I hope you are at least physically feeling better soon.
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  • lisagab26lisagab26 member
    I'm really sorry. :(
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  • MrsNukemMrsNukem member
    I'm so sorry, you have been through hell, so not fair.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Me:40 AMA, DH:36 0% morph, TTC#1;
    BFP#1 4/2011, MMC 6/2011 11wks Trisomy 13;
    BFP#2 11/2011, CP
    FSH: 17.9, AMH: 2.2
    IVF#1 w/ICSI: ER 4/3: 5R,4M,4F
    ET 4/6 All 4 (1-8A+, 2-8A-, 1-3A) BFP#3
    Two weeks of beta hell = Blighted Ovum
    IVF#2 Aug/Sept: ER 8/27: 4R,3M,3F
    ET 8/30 (1-8A+, 1-6A+)
    Beta#1 9/10: 350; Beta#2 9/12: 796; Beta#3 9/20: 9155
    Expecting Boy/Girl Twins! My babies were born 4/23/13 at 36w1d!

     
     

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  • srveatchsrveatch member
    I'm so so sorry.  I hope you have a speedy recovery and take god care of yourself.
    TTC since June 2011
    DH diagnosed with Testicular Cancer 8/2010
    Low sperm count. Only option IVF with ICSI
    Starting First cycle Jan/Feb 2012- Canceled due to not responding to BCP and/or Lupron
    IVF 1.2- stims March 14, ER March 24, 16 R 10F 6 made it to blast
    ET March 29- transferred two blasts, 4A and 4BA, froze 4
    Positive HPT 9dp5dt Beta 1- 385 11dp5dt
    u/s April 25- one healthy heartbeat
    EDD 12/12/12>


    image
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  • maby22maby22 member
    So sorry...my T&Ps are with you today.
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  • mnj05mnj05 member
    I'm so sorry this is still going on. I hope you can get this taken of and feel better soon! Thoughts and prayers for you!

     imagePhotobucket

    TTC #1 since 3/2011
    DX: anovulatory and severe MFI
    DH is a testicular cancer survivor
    IVF#1 w/ICSI lupron, gonal f, ovidrel
    ER 6/15/12 6R 6M 6F! ET 6/20/12
    Beta #1: 154 Beta #2: 509 Beta #3: 7326
    Baby Boy born 3/1/2013
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC#2: 6/2014 all testing came back normal

    IVF#2 (#1 for LO#2) 9/2014 - 17R 10M 10F 4 blasts frozen on day 6.

    FET #1 10/15/14 - Beta #1: 216  Beta #2: 823


    Baby Boy born 7/10/2015


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  • hootie123hootie123 member
    I'm so sorry glueck :(
     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573
    1st u/s=    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

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  • angela2004angela2004 member
    I am so sorry! I was so hopeful for you. The new RE sounds like there could be glimmer of hope. {{BIG HUGS}} Feel better soon!
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  • pillowasspillowass member
    I am so sorry - as if the BFN wasn't bad enough. This is all so unfair. Sending you hugs. 
    image


    TTC #2 since July 2010
    FSH = 11 (20 on day 10 of CCCT)/ AMH = .98 / AFC=12ish
    5 IUI's with oral meds = all BFN
    March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Aegis2005Aegis2005 member

    (((hugs))) I'm so sorry.  Sending T&P's for healing and clarity to make the best decisions for you that are coming your way.

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • Jezebell26Jezebell26 member
    I am so sorry sweetie. I really hope you are able to go forward with the surgery and get your take home baby. Hope you take care of yourself, get plenty of rest and get yourself out of that hospital!!! Hugs!!!!!!!
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  • conradtnconradtn member
    I'm so sorry :( T&Ps for you
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Married Sept 2008
    ~~TTC Nov 2010~~
    IUI #2: 1/21/13-100mg Clomid(CD3-7)(8M post wash) + progesterone= BFP!! EDD 10/13/13
    Beta #1=81.1 Beta #2=134.5 Beta #3=58.1 #4=2369 WTH?!-Not sure if its viable
    2/21/13 - Went to RE expecting the worse and saw the flutter of the heart.To God be the Glory!!
          5/29 - It's a Girl!!
    8/21/13 - Naomi born at 32w3d by csection due to Pre-E
    ~~PAIF/SAIF Welcome~~ 
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    imagephoto A789AD50-EAFE-4955-A617-02358EF02DBE_zpsbxkk1n87.jpg
    My Wonder Woman!

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  • AmCheriAmCheri member
    I'm so sorry Glueck.  You've been to hell and back and yet you remain so strong. You're one brave lady. Big hugs sweetie.  I hope you can go home soon so your healing can begin. 
    Baby girl Lila born 2013.
    Baby boy Henry born 2015.
    Expecting our capstone baby (boy) early March 2018.
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  • joules12joules12 member
    I'm so, so sorry, Glueck!  Your situation is beyond unfair!!!  You and YH remain in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope you're home soon and that your healing comes quickly!  ((((HUGS))))
    TTC since honeymoon in 9/2010
    Me: 39, Dx DOR (FSH = 10.5, AMH = 0.43, best AFC = 10), AMA
    MH: 37, Dx Obstructive Azoospermia, multiple successful sperm retrieval procedures

    1/2012: IVF/ICSI #1 Antagonist = cancelled d/t poor response to max stims
    2/2012: IVF/ICSI #2 MDLF (4R, 4M, 1F) = BFP, saw heartbeat, missed m/c 9w0d, D&E
    8/2012: IVF/ICSI #3 EPP/MDLF (7R, 2M, 1F) = BFN

    12/2012: (New RE) Operative hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue

    1/2013: IVF/ICSI #4 Low-dose stim/Antagonist (AFC=6); ER=1/26 (5R-couldn't access rt ovary, 5M, 4F), ET=1/29 (trans 3) = BFP!; 2/11 beta#1(13dp3dt)=2127, 2/13=3367; twin girls due 10/19/13

    PAIF/SAIF very welcome!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Pregnancy"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16bf7d.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
    I'm so sorry. :( I hope your DH is supportive of the possible next surgery. T & Ps for you.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • maggie2324maggie2324 member
    I'm so so sorry.
    Photobucket
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  • lynn0926lynn0926 member
    I am so sorry hun! This past week has truly been hell for you! (((hugs)))
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • AngnShaunAngnShaun
    {{HUGE HUGS}} I am so so sorry!!!
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  • jenjen930jenjen930 member
    No!  I am so, so sorry to hear this.  However, I am glad this is not the end of the road for you like you worried.  Good luck, and feel better soon.
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  • eponine7682eponine7682 member
    I'm so sorry hun.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TTC since March/April 2010
    DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
    DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
    June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
    Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
    IVF - January 2012: BFN
    FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
    After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
    image
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  • kmc84kmc84 member
    Glueck I have no words to express how sorry I am for you and YH! You have been through hell and I'm crushed there wasn't a light at the end of that tunnel for you. I am happy to hear that an RE is willing to work with you again but I understand that is a very loaded decision. I hope you are able to get home soon and start to heal. I hope you and YH can come to an agreement about where to go next. {{{huge hugs}}}
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    TTC# 1 since 5/10
    Me:34 Type 1 Diabetes, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Hypothyroid DH:35 Perfect
    DX: Unexplained IF
    Many IUI's with various meds all BFFN
    IVF #1 11/11 canceled due to OHSS
    IVF #2 Feb/March 2012 ET of 2 on day 3 4/7 BFP! 5/1 u/s blighted ovum
    IVF #3 July 2012 ET of 3 on day 3 7/24 BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w4d on 3/9/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2
    IVF #4 May/June 2014 ER 6/4 18R 8M 8F ET 6/9 1 blast, 2 frosties
    Beta 6/18 BFFN

    FET of 2 blasts 7/24...BFP!
    Healthy baby girl born at 36w3d on 3/17/15

    TTC#3
    IVF #5 June 2018- PGS planned, no surviving embryos
    IVF #6 August 2018- ET of 2 on day 3 - Chemical pregnancy
    IVF #7 August 2019-....?
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  • Mrs.McIrishMrs.McIrish member
    I am so sorry. It's all just so unfair that so much of this is money related. It's hard enough w/out that barrier.  Big hugs and take good care of yourself.

    TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
    DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
    5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
    OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
    DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
    DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
    CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
    DE IVF #3 1/14  ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d

    DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
    First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!

    K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days

    imageimage

    SAIF/PAIF Welcome


    http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com

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  • branmuffin2112branmuffin2112 member

    I'm so sorry ((hugs)) many thoughts and prayers to you guys!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
    I'm sorry. T & P's for you and YH.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

         imageimage 
         image   imageimage



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  • ljhgreyljhgrey member
    I'm so very sorry. :( Thinking of you, hugs. 
    -LJ
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • annaliselannalisel member
    I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself.
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  • HappyIAmHappyIAm member
    I am so sorry!! {{HUGS}}

    image
    After 6 long years of TTC and a traumatic birth... I finally got to hold my baby in my arms!

    'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'Psalm 37:4

    2006 start TTC

    2007 Start w/ RE (Endo and MFI previous marriage)/ 2008 Vericocele surgery/3 clomid cycles
    2009 Lap removed stage III endo/ 2 failed IUI/ Divorce

    2011 Remarried
    October 2011 Dx: Endo & DOR/ November 2011- clomid & TI cycle
    January 2012 IVF~  Flare protocol 10 ER/ 9 mature fertilized with ICSI/ ET- 2 Grade A Blasts/ 4 frozen= BFN
    Febuary 2012- -Endo Biopsy/  MTHFR diagnosis
    March 8- FET 2 grade A blasts= BFP!!!!

    November 2012-  Charles was born by emergency C-Section

    Dealing with:
    Stage III Endo/ DOR/ MTHFR two mutations C677T & A1298C

    Currently TTC #2  FET planned January 2014

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  • LuvWIfootballLuvWIfootball member
    I am so sorry for everything that you've had to endure.

                          

    PAIFW/SAIFW

    DS1 born July 2002 (previous marriage).

    TTC since Oct 08. DH Dx w/testicular cancer March 09.
    MFI due to retrograde ejaculation/azoospermia.
    5/2 IVF #1 cancelled due to large follie.
    6/14 start Lupron for IVF #1.2. 6/22 start stims.
    7/4 ER and Biopsy.
    7/9 Transferred 2 (1-4BB and 1-3BB) embryos.  4 frosties.
    7/15 +HPT 6dp5dt. 7/18 Beta #1: 193. 7/20 Beta #2: 415.
    8/10 1st u/s - It's triplets!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • Temp878586125009588Temp878586125009588 member
    I'm so sorry. (((hugs)))
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  • kristie2422kristie2422 member
    I am so sorry honey. I hope DH is on board with the surgery.  ((hugs))
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  • Roxie5739Roxie5739 member

    I am so sorry, there are just no words that make this easier on you now. You have been dealt more than your fair share and my heart breaks for you.

    We are here if you need us, I am just truly sorry.

    Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
    IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
    IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
    Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
    SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

    Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
     

    image              

     


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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    So sorry you had to deal with this.  Good luck moving forward!

    Photobucket
    married bio

    Expecting #2.  Nov. 2014
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