just in need of some caring advice....

brandonsbestgirl1

  I was dianosed with endo when i was just 16 i had it removed and since then have gotten marrried......they say that it grows back after being removed and i havent been checked since my last laproscopy......How do i make my husband see that i may not have such a long window to have kids =( were going to be 24 this july...and have been together for almost nine years now...we got married this Feb....I... am terrified that i cannot concieve but he doesnt want to try yet he says he is not ready.... but what if i dont have too much longer.?...and what if it takes a few years? how will i know if i can even concieve if we never try!? i am so frustrated and afraid that my dreams of being a mother may never become a reality... any advice on how to have this conversation? I dont want to pressure him...I love him and i want him to be ok with the dec to TTC.

DoublePortion

I would get checked out before having the conversation with my hubby. I know sometimes everything looks ok and we still can't get PG, but it's worth it to check. Endo isn't anything you'll want to sit around and put off TTC with. I wish you good luck & hope you are one of the lucky ones.

versace1008

does he know about your endo? and does he know what it is and how it affects conception?

I would just be honest, tell him that you have it and your worried that it would be a problem in TTC for you both, and that you think you both should start trying. Also even normal couples it takes 6 months to a year for it to work, I would just put it out there, but thats me...

brandonsbestgirl1

Thanks ladies! yes my DH does know about my endo...he doesnt seem to be taking it seriously though....i tell him how it could effect my ablilty to concieve but he just doesnt seem to get it,....i think he thinks im over reacting and that i just want a baby right now and will say anything...its so frustraiting that all of my friends have been blessed with babies...and i have to face the fact that i may not get my chance....idk....thanks for being understanding and giving me some advice....

brandonsbestgirl1

Thanks so much! i will be making an appointment with a specialist as soon as my insurance kicks in! i havent been checked in so long im so afraid of what the dr will say! =(

versace1008

hmmm maybe you should have him read about people with endo and their TTC journey?

I think a lot of times men just don't get it and once they have to go thru this with their spouse/partner they get better at understanding it, IF is very hard, it really does test your marriage in so many ways, I have read that before and I its very true...

are your tubes open or no? have you gone to see your OBGYN for an HSG test, I am not an expert on endo, I am unexplained IF so I don't know if you need to have surgery and have your tubes open first? or how that works but even that might take time to heal and stuff? Maybe you can see your OBGYN first and see what she says about TTC? and then talk to your husband about it all?

brandonsbestgirl1

im not really an expert either...all i really know is that it is linked to your menstral cycle and that as long as you have a menstral cycle it can grow back.....Usually you have to have it removed before you can concieve not sure how bad it is now.....Not sure on the tube thing....when i was diagnosed they thought that they may have to take one tube and one overy but the OBGYN was able to save them but that was then of course this is now and i havent had it checked since.....i didnt have health insurance since my mom lost her job....i just got it again through my husband, so when it kicks in i guess we will see. Stupid question but what is an HSG test???

DoublePortion

An HSG is a test to make sure your tubes are open. I won't scare you with my endo story, but I would say not to worry till you get checked out. Some women have endo and have no issues getting PG, others like me aren't so lucky. Maybe if mine had been caught at 16 i would be better off. If you've been on BC that can help control the endo. 

brandonsbestgirl1

yes i have been on Yazmine off and on for the past couple of years. Thanks for the explaination im not really up on all of the lingo yet

versace1008

HSG test shows if your tubes are open, see link below, usually the RE will make you get that, my OBGYN did mine, the RE made me get a saline sonohysterogram too, which is almost like the same thing but its the protocol for the RE I go to...You should really go to the OBGYN and let them know  you want to TTC soon and tell them your hx, and you might have to wait and see what they say bec if you have endo and your tubes are blocked you might have to wait to get it removed to TTC???

https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590

brandonsbestgirl1

thanks versace!

sekura

Versace is right; probably best to have your DH read some other people's stories about TTC and Endo.  There are probably some books out there, or people who have blogged their journeys.  Best of luck with it; it sounds like he needs more understanding of the difficulties before he will be on-board.  A lot of us struggle with having TTC too late (essentially all of us DORs have that problem), and it can be heartbreaking to know that if you'd just tried earlier, you wouldn't need to be pursuing alternatives to natural conception.

brandonsbestgirl1

sekura:

Versace is right; probably best to have your DH read some other people's stories about TTC and Endo.  There are probably some books out there, or people who have blogged their journeys.  Best of luck with it; it sounds like he needs more understanding of the difficulties before he will be on-board.  A lot of us struggle with having TTC too late (essentially all of us DORs have that problem), and it can be heartbreaking to know that if you'd just tried earlier, you wouldn't need to be pursuing alternatives to natural conception.

 

 

that is exactly what im afriad of =(

kz's_girlygirl

Once you make an appointment with the specialist, I would ask your husband to go with you.  You can talk about your desire to start TTC and see what they have to say.  Then your husband can hear from the Dr. what the implications might be and ask any questions he may have.

IMO, you both really need to feel ready to TTC, and maybe if he knows more about the condition he will get closer to that point. 

FWIW, there are women who do get pregnant with endo. on their own, so try not to worry that you are at the end of your road just yet! 

Gl as you move forward!

brandonsbestgirl1

Thanks ladies DH has agreed to go with me to see the specialist. I just didnt want him to think that we had all the time in the world ya know i wanted him to understand that with my condition its a little different.... taking him with me to talk to the specialist should help a lot and im going to find some books about it too thanks so much for being such sweethearts!