Make Room for Me on the TTA Bench

panacea05

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. 

Are you sick of Panacea rants yet? Here's another one! My OB was pretty sure she knew what was wrong with me. She was going to run a bunch of tests to confirm her suspicions, and then let us hump it out like rabbits before AF even arrives.

Welp, according to my bloodwork, I'm normal. My doctor's only concern is a possible SLIGHT Protein S deficiency, but she said that since I was technically pregnant when the sample was taken, we'll need to retest in a month because pregnancy can affect Protein S numbers. 

She said "it would be wise" to TTA until we know what's going on. I know a month isn't a long time to wait, but what if we STILL don't know what's going on after I'm retested? What if I end up waiting a million years, only to find out that everything's fine, and I was just struck by lightning twice?

I shouldn't even be worrying about this flucking sh!t. I should be 6 months pregnant. Or 9 weeks pregnant. I want my babies back.

 Dammit again. 

MissRachel621

I'm sorry lady.  That sounds very frustrating.  Come sit by me and I'll pour you a glass of wine while we TTA.

ct103

(((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry. Your pain was bad enough, now the lack of answers suck even harder. Rant all you like, that's what we're here for.

CNYBride05

Totally not sick of you :-)  And big ((hugs)).  I know you so much wanted a 2012 take home baby, but 2013 will be amazing!  I'm totally not one for P&Rs, but I've been following your heart breaking story and am sure that you will get your rainbow baby in Lucky 2013.  Here's more (((hugs))) and I'm hoping that you get the green light again soon.

panacea05

MissRachel621:

I'm sorry lady.  That sounds very frustrating.  Come sit by me and I'll pour you a glass of wine while we TTA.

I'll bring the cheese.

And my puppy, because he's really freaking cute. 

4legsRbest

I may have missed it, but what did she "think" was wrong?

The protein deficiency could hold water for you but now that you have repeat losses have you considered talking to a RE at all? My experience with my OB was not all that great (she is a sweet lady and gives the oh so gentlest paps ever) but I feel like she wasted 9 months of time time telling me to not worry about it. I would not trade my RE for the world.

Big (((hugs))) to you hun, I know this has been difficult and so unfair. I hope you find some answers soon!

sammer818

I'm so sorry hun! Hang in there. I know it sucks, and nothing I say is going to make it better....but I feel for ya! I say you enjoy this TTA with a large glass of wine (or seventy-three!) It won't make it better, but it sure as heck can't make it any worse

KacyChicago

Welcome. It sucks here. I made a comment about not wanting to climb out from under the sheets to a friend today, and she said that as long as I was there, we ought to see what "happens." That would be wonderful ... Except I am still a wreck following this loss, and am not strong enough to do it all again right now.

Sorry you're normal. Ha. And sorry y'all have to wait a while. TTA sucks just as much as TTCAL.

Aren't I a ray of f******* sunshine?

ecmleo

I am so sorry for your frustration.  I hope your month flies by and that you are able to get some answers in a month.

panacea05

4legsRbest:

I may have missed it, but what did she "think" was wrong?

The protein deficiency could hold water for you but now that you have repeat losses have you considered talking to a RE at all? My experience with my OB was not all that great (she is a sweet lady and gives the oh so gentlest paps ever) but I feel like she wasted 9 months of time time telling me to not worry about it. I would not trade my RE for the world.

Big (((hugs))) to you hun, I know this has been difficult and so unfair. I hope you find some answers soon!

My OB got me all freaked out, thinking I had Lupus. She actually said, "I'm pretty sure you have Lupus, based on the tell-tale rhythm of your baby's heart. I'm just gonna order some labs to double-check." Nope. WRONG.

I'm going to waste the rest of my night online, looking for a good RE.

4legsRbest

I do remember that now, sorry!

I hope you do seek out a specialist. They know way more than your average OB and their job is to get you pg and keep you that way. 

GL and let us know if you and your DH decide to go that route. I know a lot of ladies here will have prep advice for your first visit!

MissRachel621

panacea05:

MissRachel621:

I'm sorry lady.  That sounds very frustrating.  Come sit by me and I'll pour you a glass of wine while we TTA.

I'll bring the cheese.

And my puppy, because he's really freaking cute. 

I like cheese!  And puppies 

HopingforChange

panacea05:

4legsRbest:

I may have missed it, but what did she "think" was wrong?

The protein deficiency could hold water for you but now that you have repeat losses have you considered talking to a RE at all? My experience with my OB was not all that great (she is a sweet lady and gives the oh so gentlest paps ever) but I feel like she wasted 9 months of time time telling me to not worry about it. I would not trade my RE for the world.

Big (((hugs))) to you hun, I know this has been difficult and so unfair. I hope you find some answers soon!

My OB got me all freaked out, thinking I had Lupus. She actually said, "I'm pretty sure you have Lupus, based on the tell-tale rhythm of your baby's heart. I'm just gonna order some labs to double-check." Nope. WRONG.

I'm going to waste the rest of my night online, looking for a good RE.

I am happy you don't have Lupus, but it is awful that you now have to TTA and live without answers.  I am so sorry, and I wish I could say something that would help.

 

 

KDS1987

I am so sorry. Try and just take it one month at a time, easier said then done I know. But one month is not too long in the grand scheme of things. Sending you lots of hugs... and drinks!

paisleybaby33

Not to be "Miss Look on the Bright Side of Things" (cause that is soo not me), but coming from someone who has been dealing with a whole host of medical issues for the past three years - at least its not lupus. Lupus isnt funny business. I know TTA for a month sucks and it feels like forever, but that is so much better than the latter option. I know you are sad and angry, which is so normal. So pull up a chair, lets have some wine, and by some I mean a bottle or two each (ok, I kid a bit) and we will all commiserate together. HUGS, sweetie.

ktsnshn

I am sorry you have to join us TTA-ers for a while. ((hugs))

lanamia

How frustrating!  Did she explain what could happen if you happened to conceive while having a Protein S deficiency? 

My doctor told DH and I to wait 6 months before TTC after m/c.  I think he was just being overly cautious and now I wish we hadn't listened and just started after a few cycles.  

thetur

Definitely not sick of rants, and after all that you've been through, rant away!  I'm sorry that your testing hasn't provided any clarity and that you have to wait longer than you had hoped. ((hugs))

paisleybaby33

meganlconnelly:

Not to be "Miss Look on the Bright Side of Things" (cause that is soo not me), but coming from someone who has been dealing with a whole host of medical issues for the past three years - at least its not lupus. Lupus isnt funny business. I know TTA for a month sucks and it feels like forever, but that is so much better than the latter option. I know you are sad and angry, which is so normal. So pull up a chair, lets have some wine, and by some I mean a bottle or two each (ok, I kid a bit) and we will all commiserate together. HUGS, sweetie.

 

I am commenting on my own post, because after I re-read it, it sounded kinda rude and b*tchy. I truly am so sorry for all you have been through, and I hope you know that, seeing as I have posted on almost all of your threads. I just wanted to tell you that I was excited for you to hear that it wasnt lupus, because that could have been icky news. Regardless, this is your reality now, and I do not want to take away from that. You are disappointed, feeling like there is still no resolve and I completely get it. Sorry if I came off harsh. I swear, I am on another planet today. Crazy cranky b*tch planet. I want to throat punch myself today, and its not even Thursday. HUGS HUGS HUGS.  

panacea05

meganlconnelly:

meganlconnelly:

Not to be "Miss Look on the Bright Side of Things" (cause that is soo not me), but coming from someone who has been dealing with a whole host of medical issues for the past three years - at least its not lupus. Lupus isnt funny business. I know TTA for a month sucks and it feels like forever, but that is so much better than the latter option. I know you are sad and angry, which is so normal. So pull up a chair, lets have some wine, and by some I mean a bottle or two each (ok, I kid a bit) and we will all commiserate together. HUGS, sweetie.

 

I am commenting on my own post, because after I re-read it, it sounded kinda rude and b*tchy. I truly am so sorry for all you have been through, and I hope you know that, seeing as I have posted on almost all of your threads. I just wanted to tell you that I was excited for you to hear that it wasnt lupus, because that could have been icky news. Regardless, this is your reality now, and I do not want to take away from that. You are disappointed, feeling like there is still no resolve and I completely get it. Sorry if I came off harsh. I swear, I am on another planet today. Crazy cranky b*tch planet. I want to throat punch myself today, and its not even Thursday. HUGS HUGS HUGS.  

Pshh. I didn't take your first post that way at all. And believe me, I'm thrilled I don't have Lupus. :P 

Allycat11

((HUGE HUGS))

bananers

I am incredibly frustrated for you and sad you're going through this. I sincerely hope they figure everything out and that this is only a minor setback. ((big hugs)) I'll be thinking about you!

orangegoggles

((Hugs)) I'm sorry you are on the bench. I am also waiting on my test results so I am in limbo too. I think it is a good idea to wait until all the of the pregnancy hormones are out of your system and test  again. My doc had me wait 2 months for the testing until everything was out of my system (progesterone supps, hcg, etc.)

(((Hugs))) I know not having any answers is bittersweet.

princessbmw

That's so frustrating!! I pray you get results quickly and you're back to Ttc soon!

CCline09

Pull up a seat right beside me as I have yet to have AF arrive- then I have to wait two more months after that.

 

But it just sucks that you have no answers I was really hoping for you that you would.

 

My DH is at the ABC store now picking up some Jack to go with my six pack of ginger ales that I bought a month and a half ago (anticipating m/s of course...argh). I'll have him mix you up a drink! 

buckeyebaby814

::HUGS::  I hope you're not TTA long and the retest will give you a clean bill!

LEP424

I'm sorry to hear you are TTA. FX the cycle goes quickly. 

edinger3

I am so sorry for everything that you are going through.  I hope that your doctor can figure out whatever is wrong (or not wrong) very soon.  I hope you get your take home baby soon.  Rant as much as you want..  You give so much compassion to all of us, you have more than earned a ton of rants for yourself..

Kpsbabyzoe

I'm so sorry.  This is frustrating, and I hope you are able to figure out what's going on soon.  But until then, here's a spot on the bench.  Enjoy some wine and share your miseries with us.  There can never be too many rants/vents for those TTA.  It just plan old sucks.

Atleighdan

I am so sorry for your losses. You are welcome to join the TTA bench, but you better not stay too long!

I am right with you on feeing like I should be about to burst or at least 11 weeks pregnant. I, too, am in limbo. I am waiting for a referal to get additional testing done, so I am not sure how long we will be TTA. I am sorry you are going through this, but hopefully you will get some answers. Many prayers for you!

millejj1

I'm sorry you're stuck on the bench. I hope when you get retested you get some helpful information.

GatorBaby2012

(((HUGS))) sweetie! I'm sorry. You can sit by me.

smcjmk09

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry  you don't have to apologize for ranting - after all the support you give, the least we can do is listen also.  Sorry you're having to TTA, but glad to hear you don't have lupus. 

BOTB32010

I hope your stay on the bench is short and goes by quickly. {{Hugs}}

cielos1980

panacea05:

MissRachel621:

I'm sorry lady.  That sounds very frustrating.  Come sit by me and I'll pour you a glass of wine while we TTA.

I'll bring the cheese.

And my puppy, because he's really freaking cute. 

 Can I bring my puppy (she's freaking cute too) and Sushi, while we wait and TTA together?

EKGibs

If you can't vent & rant here where can you? & if I had never been in your shoes I would say dont think about how far along you should be but its hard not to. It almost makes me feel closer to my baby in a strange way when I think about how far along I should be. I'm soooo sorry you are having to go through this again. feel free to rant anytime. (((((hugs)))))

danaunclaw

I'm sorry. If you were near me I'd totally meet you out and wallow together. Nothing about this process is fair. I sure hope they find some answers soon. (((hugs)))

KGS2003

(((Hugs))) 

big_noise

I'm really sorry. I also just got put on the TTA bench for at least two months. Haven't even had any testing done...OB wants to see if my hormones even out on their own. I'm trying to find some positive things...like waiting will mean a better EDD anyway for me work-wise, and I can get out running more this spring but I really want both my babies back.

pinktrojanbride120107

  I'm sorry, panacea.

MrsLele

Damn. I hope you can find a new doctor and get some solid answers!