First bday etiquette question

katiefyd84

For DS's first birthday I want to have a big party/bbq basically inviting all of our family and friends. I do not want any gifts for him. We have another son who is only 22 months older, so there really is no need. Plus, getting a lot of gifts makes me uncomfortable. I don't know why, it just always has. Do you think I'd get the side eye from people if I specified no gifts on the invitation? Is that totally strange for a child's first birthday?

 

PurdueMama14

I'm interested to see what people have to say about this. I like the idea of no gifts, but I've heard of this backfiring on the parents. People will bring gifts anyway and it will be awkward for the people that actually followed the parents' wishes by not bringing any gifts.

DowagerCountessofNJ

I think it's odd to request no gifts for another person, especially for a first birthday party.  I also think it's poor etiquette to assume people will bring gifts to a party...gifts are not mandatory.

I say let it alone.  If anyone asks you what they can give LO you can say "just something small".

butterfly62682

Sgt M's Wife:

I think it's odd to request no gifts for another person, especially for a first birthday party.  I also think it's poor etiquette to assume people will bring gifts to a party...gifts are not mandatory.

I say let it alone.  If anyone asks you what they can give LO you can say "just something small".

 

DaisyJanie

I've been talking about this with friends. We recently went to a casual 1st bday party and the mom had said no gifts. They still did get some, but it didn't seem awkward. We didn't bring one and I didn't feel weird seeing others bring them. I'm considering it - we don't really need a ton of stuff and we have a small house. I'm interested in what others think.

kimbo1216

katiefyd84:

Plus, getting a lot of gifts makes me uncomfortable. I don't know why, it just always has.

I feel the same way.  I felt the same way at my showers too.  However, I don't think you should say anything about gifts on the invites.

If people ask what he needs, just say something along the lines of "He doesn't really need anything. Your presence is all that's requested.  We just want to celebrate his big day!"

Telly21182

A coworker of mine requested no gifts at her son's 1st birthday, but a donation to the Humane Society instead, as it was a puppy party theme.  She said that it was awkward in retrospect because some people brought gifts, and some didn't and you could tell those that didn't felt guilty.  I personally think people are going to bring gifts regardless, so don't specify.  

LexGator

Well, if you asked Emily Post, you shouldn't put "no gifts" on the invitation because it unintentionally makes the focus of the invitation gifts.

I think "no gifts" creates awkward situations. I went to a birthday party for a family in our playgroup, and they said no gifts. So, I didn't bring one. A few people did, so they awkwardly opened their gifts while the majority of people who obliged with their request watched. 

People are going to want to bring gifts for your son's birthday. If it's not something you need, you can always donate it to charity. You're providing food, drink, and entertainment for the afternoon; if people want to bring a gift, let them.

kayjay10

We are going to put a note in the invitation that says no gifts for DD, but if they would like, they can make a donation to the children's hospital.  DD was 11 weeks early and spent 2 months in the NICU.

DramaMama06

i think unless you do a donation set up, people will bring gifts anyway. better to just exclude it and if people ask say it's not needed.

hollster8

On ours I just put "No gifts necessary, just come have fun with us!"  I haven't printed them yet, so it's still up for editing but I feel like it conveys the message I want without being rude.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I'm no good at proper etiquette  

IdigDirt

I will just tell people who ask not to bring anything and if they must then I will suggest books since one can never have enough books.

3Girls3xsTheFun

In general, I've found at least, if you have to ask yourself (or someone else) if something is tacky/inappropriate, it probably is. 

 

When people RSVP they will probably ask what LO needs or wants, you can tell them books, clothes, or that he doesn't need anything - but people will buy something regardless, so it's better to steer them in the right direction. Or, donate all of his gifts after the party.

As nice as the gesture of saying "donate to this place in LOs name" it's still tacky. You should accept the gifts and then you donate what & where you want. You can donate toys & clothes to hospitals, not just cash.  

PortlandValentineBride

I say, if you want to put "No gifts" do it!