Help, need advice!

klotus0112

I just found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant with my first baby.  My boyfriend and I are very excited about the baby.  We weren't trying but we weren't preventing either.  We have now hit a snag in the planning.  We live in a town that I am unhappy living but it is a block away from his parents.  My family is 2000 miles away.  I want to move 30 minutes away and this has now caused a huge fight.  I don't know what to do!  I'm super emotional and can't stop thinking about this situation. Help.

dixneuf

take a deep breath and know that it's going to work out as it needs to. 

It may not resolve itself today but you have 8 months to work this out.

You're probably still in a state of shock over your BFP and emotions are high.

 

hayweex

That's tough but I can see both sides. Maybe you guys just need to agree to go in between or something. Because one of you is not going to be happy ):

wwoolz

Ok - I am definitely not Dr. Phil but here's my opinion and I stress opinion...

1. Why do you want to move 30 minutes away? Sounds like there may be an issue with his parents or you just don't want to be thatclose to them. You also mentioned that you don't like the town you live in, so why do you live there? You need to think about this and present it to your partner in a non argumentative way (it's hard, I know but you have to try to be non-emotional about the issue)

2. Money is a really big issue for most couples, it becomes even more magnified when a baby is involved. Have you thought about any support that his family / your family will be able to provide? This might be an important point in the future. 

There are a few other points, but just write down all your thoughts/issues and speak to your partner about your thoughts/fears. It's ok to disagree because in the end if you aren't happy and you choose not to say anything, the only person that will remain unhappy is you. Speak your mind, but remember that any decisions you make need to be done together. 

 

klotus0112

Thank you for the reply. 

I moved to the town to be with him 2 years ago.  All of my friends and what social life I had is 45 minutes away.  I guess call me blinded by love.  I do get along with his family but to be honest his mother is not my cup of tea.  She is very opinionated.  This has caused stress on the relationship before the baby was involved.  I feel very lonely here.  

Money will be an issue with us as my boyfriend doesn't make great money.  I make decent money but I also have a lot of bills.  We have always talked about if we were to get pregnant his mom would help when I have to go back to work.  I still believe she will help even if we move to another town.  Sometimes I feel living one block away is too much for me since I don't have as strong of a family bond as he does.  

I know he has good intentions and I see where he is coming from but I have expressed how unhappy I am living here.  The week before I found out I'm pregnant he told me he was 100% on board with moving.  Now that I'm pregnant the idea was thrown out the window.  

AJKayakMomma

You could always try to make new friends in the town you live in now.  Try getting into a  pregnancy group or something. Moving just for the sake of moving isn't always a good idea with a baby.

MrsHarlowC

I feel for you...I really do.  I've been there....I actually just moved back to our hometown in December.  I was miserable...and me being miserable just caused DH and I to be at odds..CONSTANTLY.   After I tried it his way for 10 months....HE finally decided we needed to move back...but our kids were also miserable.  It wasn't just me missing my friends and family...but they were too.   I'd give a little and calmly talk to him in a non-argumentative way.