It is so difficult

luvmygirls22

to set aside my maternal desire to have a third child in order to really weigh the pros and cons with DH. DH and I have been discussing this more lately because he is worried he is going to be stuck in shift work. Anyone else going through this and how are you able to put aside your desire to have a third so you can figure out if it truly is the best thing for your family? I need some help. I don't think I really thought about us not having any more because that maternal instinct (desire) was so strong. Now, I am slowly figuring out that I might be done having children and it's killing me. Not saying I am not at all thankful and feel very blessed for my girls. DH and I want what is best for our girls and for our possible third. It's just really hard, especially when your heart is telling you it's a good thing.

Arnegard

We knew when #1 & #2 were born that we weren't done.  We never avoided pregnancy after #2 or #3 (and only the first 6 mo after #1).  My husband works shift work and has since I met him.  I am the one who keeps the kids on schedule, he joins in when he's home.

2Gma

Time.  To talk about it and consider the future impact on our family.

My DH and I have been contemplating having another child for 2 years.  At times it has pulled at my heartstings thinking my family doesn't feel complete without another and at other times I am pulling my hair out with just two.  In the meantime we are enjoying the one-on-one time with each get with both and are doing more activities now that they are a little older.  I won't consider our decision final until one of us does something permanent for BC.

 

shouldbworkin

If you have time to think about it, I would just table it for the time being.  Situations and feelings changes and I've found there's no harm in putting it on the back burner to revisit at a later date. 

luvmygirls22

Thank you ladies!

LissaLee

Plain and simple, I couldn't put aside the emotional desire for baby #3. I could come up with 1000 reasons why we should be done after #2, but I could not get over the feeling that we were not done having children yet.

After finding a more rational explaination then "but my guts say we're not done yet" DH was able to not only see my side, but agree that he was not able to close the book on our baby days either and I am currently pregnant with #3.

BTW: DH was in grad school when #1 was born, and I returned to school once he was done and had #2 before graduation, so it is possible (though difficult) to advance in the job world even while having children.

Good luck with your decision! I hope you are able to come to a conclusion that works for both of you!

ccm1203

shouldbworkin:

If you have time to think about it, I would just table it for the time being.  Situations and feelings changes and I've found there's no harm in putting it on the back burner to revisit at a later date. 

This is a very good idea.  I saw a recent post from you on the same subject, but it seems like you are dwelling on it.  Your youngest is still pretty young.  Can you set it a for 6 mos to a year?