More nervous the 2nd time?

WildcatPrincess

Every time I have a random contraction part of me gets excited and part of me goes "oh, I have to do THAT again". We had a very positive natural birth with DD that didn't even last all that long, but for some reason I have a lot less positive "I can do it" feelings. I think a lot of it is not having the reassurance of the hypno classes fresh in my mind, but I have been practicing a lot more recently than we did last time prior to labor. Did anyone else feel this way 2nd time around? I also worry I won't have the time or opportunity to get to a good relaxed place trying to get DD settled and leaving her, that's going to be hard (though maybe once I'm in labor I won't mind as much!)

byrne15

I was just thinking about this the other day...

With ds I didn't think anything but a nice simple birth would occur.  It ended in emergency c-section.  Now with this pregnancy, I have been so focused on finding a provider that would allow me to VBAC and who I meshed well with....I haven't really thought of the actual birth.  Now I know I have a long way to go, but just yesterday I was thinking to myself...oh crap, can I do this???

LaurelBee

We're still ttc, but I definitely have the same fears! I'm terrified of having a breech baby or something and will need to get a Cs. Also, I guess I just have too many warm fuzzies about about Ds's birth. I forget how much it hurt, so I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it!

Sawyerplus1

I think it's really normal to feel more nervous the 2nd time, even after a good first experience. Now you know what you're in for!  I was nervous when pregnant with DD, partly because I didn't want another super long labor (DS was 30 hours). But my experience was very different the second time; it was shorter and more painful, but my recovery was awesome. I just relied heavily on the fact that I had done it once before and I could do it again! 

BootsOrHearts

For what it's worth, 2nd births (and same for all subsequent) are generally shorter than the previous ones so that's a positive!

NewzieMom

I have moments of feeling that way and it's the 4th go around.  I know I won't get the epi but there are times of the day were I am just like please don't go to labor I can't do it right now.  

wheelsonthebus

Yes!! I was feeling SO confident with my last pregnancy and went into labor feeling confident. Then, the hospital scared the pants off me about how "terrible" things were going to get for me. I'm afriad of chickening out. Also, DS was a big baby and all of the nurses kept saying how I should be thanking them for urging me to get the epidural at the very end because I would have been sorry. Uggh, I wish I was feeling like I was last time.

adkhiker

I had a long talk about this same thing with DH last night. I definitely feel more nervous this second time and am so happy to see that others feel the same. With my first, I went in with such an open mind as I had no idea what the birth would be. This time, I feel like I have more expectations of myself and the birth which I am worried will actually be mental blocks to a relaxed and natural labor.

sarahintx05

I am definitely more nervous the second time around.  I had a really long labor with DD, so I'm nervous that if this one is as long, I won't be able to handle it.  Also, I'm more concerned about the recovery- last time I didn't have to worry about anyone else except for the new baby, now I will have a newborn and a toddler.  Glad to hear that I'm not crazy and others feel the same! 

WildcatPrincess

NewzieMom:

I have moments of feeling that way and it's the 4th go around.  I know I won't get the epi but there are times of the day were I am just like please don't go to labor I can't do it right now.  

Yes! I have definitely had a couple "please don't let this be the day" days recently.

Glad to hear this seems to be common. DH thinks I'm crazy and that it will all be exactly the same as last time, he's always telling people how awesome I did having DD. It doesn't occur to him this experience could be totally different!