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Attachment Parenting
Thought I'd try this board...
I originally posted this on the 1st trimester board but didn't get any response... Maybe someone here can help...
Hello everyone. I'm new to the forums so I thought I'd turn here for help! I am 9 weeks pregnant and I also have an 11month old daughter. I made the HUGE mistake of putting her to sleep next to me (and moving her to her crib when she falls asleep) and now she will not sleep unless someone is laying next to her. I know I'm going to be screwed when my 2nd child is born so I thought I'd try now training my daughter to sleep on her own so I needed some help/suggestions. Do I just leave her in her crib (she just cries and cries or just plays) or is there something else I can do? She is seriously SO good at everything else (even starting to potty train!) and I know this was my mistake so I need help! Any suggestions would be wonderful!
Thx!! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Thought I'd try this board...
You probably won't find a lot of advocacy on this board for the cry it out method. One book that might help is the sleep lady sleep training book. There is TONS of material out there to give you ideas.
I am a FTM, but I bet there are women on this board who would advocate for bedsharing with a ~2 year old and a newborn, as long as you have the right safety measures in place. Or, you could teach your newborn to sleep in a co sleeper while you have your ~2 year old in bed with you.
Sorry I'm not much help!
See, she doesn't sleep in the bed w/ me (I've always been scared just because I don't trust myself) she just has to fall asleep next to somebody and then we move her into her crib lol. Anyone in my family who babysits her only complains of that- laying her down for a nap...
Thx for the book reference and the advice:)
Many AP parents believe in extended bed-sharing, so I in no way think you are "screwed" or made a mistake. If you like sleeping with your child and you can figure out how to add a newborn to that mix, that is a perfectly fine option. We will have DS sleep between us and NB sleep in the crib side-car next to me.
Now, to address your question. DS naps and starts the night on a floor bed. We do it in his own room, but you could also do this in your room. It is just a twin matress on the floor. We lay with him until he falls asleep then inch away ever-so-slowly.
More Green For Less Green
At 11 months I nursed my lo to sleep, and slept next to her. It was the only way she slept unless dh took her in the stroller or we were ridding in the car. She was in no way ready to "put herself to sleep" until a few weeks ago and we are still working on it.
I think every baby is different and it sounds like yours still needs help going to sleep. Is there another way you could try to move towards - like rocking her or something? So do your routine with that in the mix and slowly start doing it more until you cut out laying next to her?
Also, a lot can change in 7 months. Especially at that age.
Deep down I don't really think I made a mistake either (even tho others around me sorta make me feel like I did). I'm a stay at home mom, so in my mind I just thought, hey, if I have the time to lay down w/ her til she sleeps then why not! I guess I'm just a worried that when I have my 2nd child and they both happened to want to sleep at the same time then what! lol. I think I'm freaking myself out way too soon.. your right, a lot can change in 7 months.
If they both need to sleep and you can do it you just lay with one on either side of you...If you have bed rails it should work fine. There is nothing wrong with your lo needing to feel you or see you to feel conmfortable and safe enough to fall asleep. She is still very very little.
Like PP said alot can and will change in 7 months especially at this age. You are in no way screwed. I promise.
You totally did not make a mistake!
No mistakes were made! My older son still likes to have one of us lay next to him when he falls asleep. He is totally able to fall asleep on his own (and does, on occasion), but it's still nice to have a few moments of cuddling with him now that he's a big kid.
I would just wait a few more months, and then switch her to a mattress on the floor. That might work better for when family babysits, too, as they can lie down with her and she can fall asleep that way. And don't stress about getting two to sleep at once - if you nurse, you can just have the baby on your lap while you sit by her. I think the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Kids book has some chapters about slowly acclimating kids to fall asleep without someone next to them. And sleep training, whether it's gradual with no crying or CIO, will work. Not CIO just takes more time. hth!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
This. I occasionally start to wonder if I'm making a mistake, but then I ask myself...what in my entire life could possibly be more important than this? And where in the world would I rather be than lying right next to my sweet angel?