The Thing about Middle Names

chibride4

While I completely understand the importance of selecting the perfect name for your LO (that's what this board is about after all), I personally think that too much emphasis is placed on the middle name. I mean, how many of your family members (aside from immediate relatives), friends and acquaintances have middle names you remember? It seems that I come from a whole generation of (first name) Lynns and (first name) Anns. I actually like mine (Jennifer) because it flows nicely with my first, but how often do I use it? Pretty much never. I'm not even sure my DH knows it, lol.

Discuss amongst yourselves...  

SarahPLiz

Neither DH nor one of my best friends from school even has a middle name. Chew on that one. 

I like using the MN spot for family names.  

kelnyc

I actually know all of my family members' middle names. Grandmothers, uncles, cousins, etc. Being able to incorporate some family connection with our child's middle name is important to me for this reason.

austenreader85

I'm totally weird and ask nearly everyone their middle name.  Not upon first meeting or something, but eventually.  I'm just that obsessed with names.  In my family the only ones I don't know are my great-grandparents because my mother doesn't know them.  I might try asking one of my other relatives though, I'd really like to know more about my family geneology.

But I know most of my co-worker's middle names, I think all the kids under 10 at my church, all of my friends, almost all of my in-laws.  I think the middle name matters just as much but if the poster is getting hung up on deciding who to honor or flow then I do remind them that it's seldom said outloud, few people will know it etc.  But it defintiely still matters, just think of Chandler Muriel Bing!

MicahBaviere

Completely agree! I use my middle initial a lot as I chose to incorporate it into my formal signature, but beyond that I never use my middle name. It's always been this weird additional word on my driver's license that I've never really identified with. I think if I gave myself a new middle name now I'd probably find it more important than my current one. 

I also LOATHE naming kids after relatives. If you just plain old like the name, that's one thing. But trying to come up with some sort of strange combination of weird anagrams to incorporate every grandma, aunt, cousin, and great-aunt twice removed is just ridiculous. From all the friends I know who have used family names to show sentiment, it's only caused tons of drama because of other relatives who feel slighted that their name wasn't picked. 

ChristyML

I have been married to my husband for about 7 months now (I knew his family for about a year before meeting him) and have known his family about 2 years. On our wedding announcement, which his mom posted on the fridge, it says my middle name. Well, a few weeks ago, we were talking about names in general (not our baby names) with his family, and his dad said he doesn't know my middle name. I was a little shocked, but I guess I figured he would have looked and seen the announcement all the time...*Shrugs*

TripMomma

I use my kids first and middle names together quite often, and not at all just when they are in trouble We picked our runner up names as their mn...so I actually really like them, they are not just filler for us.

alliejo725

I agree. People put too much focus on middle names here (and that's saying something, for a name board). I get annoyed when people get all bent out of shape over a poster wanting to use something strange/unique as the middle name. Who cares? The MN spot is the place to go a little crazy, IMO.

chibride4

I should add that I really like my kids' middle names as well (even though they're certainly critique worthy by boards like this). They have a lot of meaning to DH and me and we call them by their full names quite often at home. But my point is that they'll likely never use them as adults, or even adolescents. 

brideofscowboy

I agree! 

While I use DS's mn from time to time, I don't think it's as important as the fn. Even when it comes to flow, I'm more concerned how the fn/ln combo flows vs the fn/mn/ln.

I agree with pp, the mn is the spot to go a little crazy or creative, or to honour good old Aunt Gertrude or Grandpa Edgar.

anna7602

I respectfully disagree with you. MNs are very important in my family and we all use them quite frequently. I know the mns of all my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. and they know mine and when babies are born in the family, it's common for us to use both names. Most of my friends are aware of my mn.

I generally give a free pass for mns in terms of quirkiness or spelling or pronunciation, but I still think they're important, at least in my world.

imimahoney

ITA x 1000%.

People freak out over the flow of a name when, in reality, how often is the middle name used.

Our fn and mn choices don't really "flow together" but that doesn't matter. We love our fn choice and the mn is honoring a deceased family member.  

SposaBellarina

I think there are about 3 times in a person's life when his or her full name will be used in public-- birth, graduation, and wedding.  That said, those are pretty important times.

scoutkate

Joy2611:

I actually don't even open middle name threads.  I like middle names that are family related.  If they are just a random name that the parents like, then I'm totally bored by it.  Ha. 

Our kids' middle names have long been picked out.

This.

My daughter's middle name is my MIL's maiden name (and my DH's middle name, as well).  I've had some people question it because Everett is a "boy's name," but it's not a boy's name--it's a surname that has become popular for boys--and honoring our family was more important to us than choosing some random filler. 

Keri Marie

I love that a MN can be personal or secret. I have 2 and they're both very important to me. I always ask about other peoples MN's. It's like having a gem stone on you're wedding ring... but for the palm side of your had, not the showy side, it's just for you.

fancynewbeesly

My husband had no preference with her having a middle name. He said he didn't even care if she had one!

Because he made it so easy for me-I used the name that my dad loves, since it flowed well.  

kacelle

I know almost every single one of my family and friends' middle names.  But I'm all for using guilty pleasure names or questionable family names in the middle name position.

CayleighDawn

I think it really depend on the name. For example, I call my niece by both names (Breanna Jean), quite often because they flow together so well. My nephew Logan Robert, on the other hand, I rarely call by his full name. Most members of my family call me Cayleigh Dawn on a regular basis, and I use it often myself (case in point; my screen name). While I don't think you should discount names completely based on how they sound/flow, I think it is possible to find a middle name that works well enough to be used regularly without being too much of a mouthful.

Paulalc

I have a very similar story to yours. I got married in September last year. I knew my husband's mom and dad for just over a year before we married and have always got on very well with them both. One evening, his mom and I were chatting and she asked me my mn. I told her, and she looked all shy and asked if I'd mind if she put in in the wedding announcement.   I smiled and gave my consent so up went my mn on the wedding announcement which his mom posted on the kitchen noticeboard. We'd been married for about three months when his dad looked at me and said that he didn't know my middle name! I asked him when he'd last looked at the kitchen noticeboard, so he went and looked and came back saying "I've been wondering what your mn is for months"

 

jupiterthecat

To some people, their middle name matters a lot and they use it all the time. Others, not at all. I like that my MN has family significance (it has been used for generations on my father's father's side, and I like that it connects me with long-dead women I'll never meet), and it's a fine name (Rebecca) but I don't think it flows with my first name (which also ends in an A) at all, so I basically never use it. I do use my middle initial in academic publications, just to make sure my name is unique among researchers in my field, but I wouldn't if I had a unique name.