How do you know when you're ready...

Nellielove

to start again? (emotionally, I mean) It's been a few weeks since the loss and I am trying to work up the courage to enjoy sex again and to think about TTC and I feel scared and excited, sad and yet, encouraged. It's this weird mixed bag of emotions. Does that mean that I'm not ready? I know that everybody is different, but wondered if there were any clear indicators that signal "Hey! I'm ready!"

CCline09

I have wondered the same thing. We haven't even had intercourse (other sexual stuff...) but no intercourse since I found out I was pregnant. I don't know when I'll be ready...

holly321

We had sex a week after my D&C, it was really hard, the first few times.  We are currently ttc, I don't feel "ready"  I don't think I will ever feel ready.  It makes me feel better to look to the future. 

MWoodside

Personally, I wasn't scared/worried about resuming sex.  But I am the type of person that can totally separate that from TTC.

In terms of knowing I feel ready to TTC, that took longer.  About 3 weeks post loss I started feeling emotionally stronger a little bit each day.  I started feeling more & more ready.  We are waiting the 2 cycles my Dr recommended still though. 

 

elplocho

I was ready for sex again pretty quickly, but I was still scared about how I might feel during/after. It really reassured me and made me feel like I was getting back to normality.

 However I'm absolutely not ready to ttc. Part of me really wants to soon, but the majority of my thoughts are saying wait six months and ttc again in the fall/winter, but I may put it off longer. I'll know I'm ready when I stop over thinking all the negative parts of pregnancy.

JuddandJessica

I was bleeding and on pelvic rest for awhile before my last miscarriage. By the time the miscarriage bleeding stopped, it had been a long time and it sounded good to both of us. We really needed it to help emotionally connect us again not to mention that it had just been forever. I guess that part was easy for us as soon as we got over the initial hesitation. I was a bit nervous for physical concerns but that turned out to be a big nothing.

As for ttc, we waited the cycle after, which was recommended since I didn't have a d&c. We knew we were ready when it was easier to look at the future and think of a new baby instead of what we were missing with the two we lost. It will always hurt but we are both ready for a new life, not only grieving our babies.  

 

 

JuddandJessica

I want to add one more thing. A friend of mine with kids was telling me about sex as a mommy, which all of us of course are there now. She told me to always remember you are both a mommy and a wife. It's very hard for us to seperate the two sometimes, especially when pregnant or ttc. If you can disconnect the two, sex is always easier.

Mash67

MWoodside:

Personally, I wasn't scared/worried about resuming sex.  But I am the type of person that can totally separate that from TTC.

In terms of knowing I feel ready to TTC, that took longer.  About 3 weeks post loss I started feeling emotionally stronger a little bit each day.  I started feeling more & more ready.  We are waiting the 2 cycles my Dr recommended still though. 

 

I agree, to me our sex live is very important, so I we almost always keep that seperate from TTC.   Since Jan when we found out I was pregnant, my Dr. said take It easy and no sex for a while, so we have had sex maybe 6 times since feb.... so not like us and its extremely depressing that  that important part was taken away.  Now with the whole MC and D&C we have to wait even longer.  

 

We are basically going to put off ttc for a few months just to give my body a break, and I Dont want a dec baby.. LOL Ive always wanted a spring baby for some reason.  My DR. recomended waiting one cycle, but we will just use protection for a while.