Question regarding picking visitation times. Can I say no?

ChunkyMunkey

I know I posted this on our FB group but I deleted my FB due to my XH becoming super stalker mode.

Well some fabulous news (sarcasm) XH was released from prison yesterday after 3 whole days. I don't know how and I don't know why and NO ONE will answer my questions regarding it. All I know is that he's free and he's expecting his visits to start this weekend.

We have a CO through my Order For Protection. He gets 4 hours of supervised visitation on a Saturday or Sunday each weekend. He cannot contact me directly thus we will be "talking" through his grandma. How do we choose the day and time? Is this something we must agree upon or does he have the upper hand considering it's HIS visit as I guess he had stated to a friend. He also has to take and pass a breathalyzer before each visit and the facility must call me with the results. No phone call = no visit.

My concern is Easter Sunday. I am having a massive family gathering and haven't seen several of them for a very long time and want to have my son there. I KNOW my XH will be a jerk and demand Roman during the middle of the day, especially if he knows I have big plans. Do I have the right to tell him no since it is a planned event and tell him that Saturday is better and to pick hours then? I'm just not sure if saying NO will look good if he decides to one day take me to court. The CO says nothing about Holidays and at the moment I have sole custody over Roman until the divorce is finalized (which will also probably result in me having sole legal and physical).

My mom assures me that I can tell him no and say it won't work for me but I don't want this to bite me in the ass. I have had one person tell me to not even bother saying a word UNTIL he asks about Easter and I had another tell me it would be best to tell them a week ahead of time so they can adjust things if needed on their end. 

What can I do? 

sweetie0228

When he ASKS for visitation you give a list of times and dates that Roman can be available on the days outlined by the CO.  Therefore Easter weekend the father can choose any time that you say that Roman is available. 

In order to "look good" or be flexible/cooperative you just have to give realistic times.  If he says they don't work for him than the visit is forfeited. And since you don't mention a Makeup clause he doesn't get to bank up time.

 

ChunkyMunkey

That's great to know. I did send his mother an email outlining the best times for Roman during the typical weekend that allows him a decent nap and has him home in time for bathtime and bed. I told her I'd be more flexible if need be.

I'll wait until he inquires about Easter weekend and once he does I will tell him what times work best for us. 

 Thank you for the info. Courts can be so vague sometimes. 

lilhockeygurlMOM

Girl I'm sad you deleted your fb but I understand. If you ever need to talk message me on here...I don't wanna post my number

lilhockeygurlMOM

Nicole what I don't understand is how with his record and him attempting to hurt his own child how he has any ability to see his child. In some ways the system works and others it doesn't work.

ChunkyMunkey

lilhockeygurlMOM:

Nicole what I don't understand is how with his record and him attempting to hurt his own child how he has any ability to see his child. In some ways the system works and others it doesn't work.

Trust me, I don't get it either. He had a spy on my account though so to protect myself I deleted it for now. I'll reactivate it in a few weeks and delete everyone who even knows him in the slightest way. Only close people like yourself I will keep on. I'm just grateful the visits are only 4 hours and supervised. He even wrote on there today that I'm Satan. Classy huh? Funny, considering he was crying that he loved me only 2 weeks ago. Message me your number as I lost all of mine.

WWMS

ChunkyMunkey:

lilhockeygurlMOM:

Nicole what I don't understand is how with his record and him attempting to hurt his own child how he has any ability to see his child. In some ways the system works and others it doesn't work.

Trust me, I don't get it either. He had a spy on my account though so to protect myself I deleted it for now. I'll reactivate it in a few weeks and delete everyone who even knows him in the slightest way. Only close people like yourself I will keep on. I'm just grateful the visits are only 4 hours and supervised. He even wrote on there today that I'm Satan. Classy huh? Funny, considering he was crying that he loved me only 2 weeks ago. Message me your number as I lost all of mine.

On a side note if you are worried about him spying on you he probably knows you are on here too. My EX had his GF following me on here that why I've change my name 3 times. And this new name has nothing attached to it.

You might want to start over on here with a new name and no pictures too.

Good luck with everything!