agressive behavior in 3.5 yo girl?

KathrynMD

amatuer child psychologists - what say you. . .

DD (almost 3.5) got bit in the arm at school today by one of her classmates.  Classmate is a girl we know well, they've been in FT daycare/preschool together for the last year or so.  The girl is about 2 months older than DD.  She's the oldest of 2 girls (her sister is ~18ish months).  The friend wanted to push my DD on the swings at school (this is a thing all the girls do and I think there's a little bit of a popularity element to it too - I'm not sure if they are too young for that or not); DD told her friend she didn't want her to push her and friend bit her arm (no skin broken, but still unsual for that age).  School called me and I'm satisfied they handled appropriately. 

From my own observations of this girl at various outings and conversations w/ her mom, she is more physically agressive (shoves, hits, etc.) and physical than the other girls in their class.  I honestly feel bad for the mom b/c I know she's embarrassed by this behavior.  I am wondering whether its possible the girl is ADD/ADHD or whether she's too young to see that or whether - eh, she's just an aggressive kid. 

la79al

DD1 was a little over 3.5 when DD2 hit her biting stage (right around 18 months).  DD1 then also went through a phase where she thought biting was going to get her results.  We quickly squashed that idea and DD1 only bit DD2 because she's not around other kids but I didn't view DD1s behavior as odd at all.  If she was doing it on a regular basis, I'd be worried but she saw it working for DD2 and wanted to try it a few times.  I wouldn't be quick to look at a diagnosis for the little girl at daycare, probably moreso what she is allowed to get away with at home.  The mom can act embarrassed all she wants but when the kids get home from daycare for the evening, is someone focusing on them or is it dinner prep and getting ready for the next day?   If I don't keep a close eye on my two, I see potential for both of them to turn into pushing, hitting kids, just because that is what they see as working to get what they want.   

the_jackpot

Is it  pattern or an isolated event? My son has been bitten by 2 students: both were older than 3 so I don't think it is uncommon as we may assume. Kids behave all kinds of ways when they are frustrated/angry/ tired etc.