Am I overreacting?

tdmklm

So, I got home today and K, J, and I met me at the station. We went for a walk, came in, made his dinner, and gave it to him. Halfway through dessert, K says, "Oh, by the way, M (J's nanny) has to go shopping tomorrow. A friend of hers will drive her, but she can only go in the morning (when she's supposed to be with J). She asked whether it was ok to take him, and I said yes."

Uuuuuhhhh, what? Who is this friend? What kind of car does she drive? What kind of car seat does she have? What?

I thought I wouldn't have these questions until he's, um, a teenager! Am I overreacting? I got a little mad that K would just let him go in a complete stranger's car to a store that's 30 minutes away... Am I overprotective? 

2brides

I can't remember if the boys ever went with our nanny in someone elses car. I don't think so. But she did drive them to her errands: getting her tires rotated, holiday shopping, etc on occasion (a handful of times a year.) She did have friends/family over (once again a handful of times a year) that we may or may not have met - her boyfriend, a friend from out of town, her sister, her mom. We were comfortable with these activities, but I am pretty sure we discussed it before agreeing.

I am not sure we would have let them go in someone elses car and I think we were pretty trusting with our nanny. I am sorry you got put in this position.

tdmklm

Thanks... If she were driving, I would be fine with it. She has taken him to all sorts of places on public transportation, and I'm completely fine with that, too. It's just the idea of him being in an unknown car with an unknown person behind the wheel. It just really rubs me the wrong way, for some reason - I mean, If I think about this rationally, I don't know the bus driver or the train conductor either, you know? Still... Ugh. 

tdmklm

And just to defend myself a little : like 2brides and L, I've been ok with her having folks over when she was with J - her kids a number of times, a nanny friend with the little boy she cares for, and, a bunch of times, other kids she used to care for (when their parents were in a bind and needed last-minute help for some reason). So I don't think I'm a super controlling person...

Why do I feel bad about this? .. rhetorical question ..

2brides

And FWIW  - these are the same conversations that L and I have (I am K and you are L.) I feel the need to give an immediate response, which pisses L off since she wants to be consulted. And then if she has a differing opinion that we go with, I typically have to go back and renig, which makes me feel badly/guilty/a pushover/whatever.

 

tdmklm

2brides:

And FWIW  - these are the same conversations that L and I have (I am K and you are L.) I feel the need to give an immediate response, which pisses L off since she wants to be consulted. And then if she has a differing opinion that we go with, I typically have to go back and renig, which makes me feel badly/guilty/a pushover/whatever.

 

Ah, the joys of marriage!  

leapgirl8

I think if I trusted the nanny, I would trust her to only take him into a safe car with a safe driver. As long as it didn't happen too often, I think I'd let it go. 

Then again, my babies are still safely in utero... 

2mommiesinoh

I would want to meet the friend first and know them for like a really long time. I mean I would not leave Ky with anyone I did not trust but I have issue with other people driving Ky around. Our friends K and A have watched Ky several times for us. Once K wanted to go to the store while we were at work and asked us to leave a carseat. We "forgot" to leave one just so she could not go. So honestly I do not think you are overreacting if you look at our reaction lol.