Update and warning, I'm a bit negative today

irishgirl0525

Hello ladies, just wanted to update a bit about me and my current cycle.  I haven't posted much lately because of work constraints and also because I'm just getting to the point where I am sick of saying the same thing about myself over and over again. However, I have been lurking a lot and of course I am rooting for all of you.

I am at CD8 or 9, I don't know I have lost count. I am doing the Lupron Flare with 225 IU Follistim twice a day and 15 IU of low dose HCG. once a day.  I have 1 follicle that is about 13 mm  and 1 less than 10 on my left and everything on my right is less than 10.  

This is the cycle that my doctor says he will lower the requirement of 4 follicles to 2 to go to retrieval.   I'm so pissed that I only have 1 that is growing at this point. The doctor said it's still early but I know that usually by this point there are others that are larger than 10.  I have to go back in on Friday, hopefully they will be farther along at that point. 

I'm sorry to sound so negative. I was recalling how a year ago i was so excited anticipating the results of each u/s and then getting more and more hopeful because my results were better then.  Now, I am just about over it. I don't get excited, or hopeful and it's all I can do to be positive anymore, which makes me sad because I really don't want to be feeling like this when we are trying to conceive our child for God's sake.

I'm still not ready stop doing this but I have to tell you, I am really almost there.

Again, sorry to be so negative.  Part of it is this, and part of it is that I am still at work at 8:23  I really just want to go home. 

 

happywifemomofone

I'm sorry that you are having such a rough time...and finding it so difficult to be positive.  I'm hoping that Friday will be good news for you and will have the 2 follies that you need to get to ER.  Hang in there-and go home!!  You need to rest, follies grow the most when you get enough rest (unscientific thoughts).

Llamamama

Hugs.  I wish I had some amazing words of wisdom that would make you feel better.  IF sucks!

Maybe Joleisa

I hope things look better come Friday. If you figure out how to go through IF and not feel all negative, PAGE ME! 

danieleandwayne

Friday is a whole 36-48 hours away-- lots of time for follicles to grow!

I will keep sending you good juju. It's a long process, and unfortunately for the majority of us, the magic has long since worn off. But if we can get to same destination-- a healthy baby-- I think it's more important that we wanted the baby so very much that we went through all this torment and frustration than having the baby conceived when we are feeling the most positive and happily carefree.

Big hugs and FX for you on Friday.

winidpu

I am right there w/ you when you mention that you are getting closer to ending this whole process. Seems to get tougher and tougher to cycle month after month w/o being any closer to having a baby.

I hope you get some great news on Friday. I will be thinking of you. Good luck and hang in there.

Mrs.McIrish

Hugs. I know what you are feeling all too well. I hope your follies kick it into gear. Are you still at work because you are Planning a Tebow party? lol, I could not resist!!

irishgirl0525

Mrs.McIrish:

Hugs. I know what you are feeling all too well. I hope your follies kick it into gear. Are you still at work because you are Planning a Tebow party? lol, I could not resist!!

McIrish, I'm still here at 11:45 and he's the reason

Abeille

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  I hope Friday's appt will give you more encouraging results.

owlprof

Oh goodness...I hope your work day finally ended! 

Wishing you lots and lots of luck over the next couple days!

Maybe if Tebow ends up with you guys, you could ask him to lay his hands on you.  (to clarify, this is a faith healing technique practiced by evangelicals and is suggested in jest; I'm not advocating for something that could land you on the wrong end of a sexual harrassment dispute). 

BeckyP005

I'm sorry your feeling down. Wish I had something better to say. Fingers crossed for a good report on Friday!

brooklynesque

Hugs, irishgirl.  Hope things go better for you than expected tomorrow.

And I hope you got some sleep last night! 

mtlaurel

Hugs.

pillowass

I'm so sorry you are feeling so hopeless right now. I think we can all relate. I agree with the others - a lot can change in a few days and I would be willing to bet that you have a few more follies by Friday. ((hugs)) in the meantime. 

annalisel

Hugs. How are you feeling today? I hope work isn't so late tonight. 

I don't think it's bad that you aren't excited anymore. For me, at least, this means I'm back to the possibility of being pleasantly surprised. The coming to the end part is the more depressing part ... Que sera sera

Bubs711

{{{HUGS}}} Hope you get better news at tomorrow's appointment.

irishgirl0525

Thank you all, I really appreciate all of your thoughts and well wishes.  Of course you all understand the negativity, i wish we all didn't have to go through these highs and lows...

I'm better today, but really I am probably just distracted, there is a lot going on at work today given the fact that a certain QB named in a couple of previous posts has joined our team and I am the person who coordinated all of the logistics of his visit here today.  It's been a pretty lackluster few months careerwise, and the energy and action today kind of reminded me of the reason I love being an executive assistant. It's days like this that I really, truly love my job and what I chose as a career, and I honestly don't have too many of those kind of days lately. 

Because I worked so late last night (got home after 1 AM) my med timing was very screwed up and I really hope that doesn't affect things negatively. I did my shots at 1:30 AM, then I brought my meds with me to work so I could do my morning dose later in the morning since I didn't think I should be doing it 5 hours after the previous one. Now I am still at work and I'm so glad I brought them with me because It's almost time for another dose. 

Anyhow, I'm not looking forward to waking up at the ass crack of dawn to do my monitoring so I can make it to work before 8:00 after leaving here late tonight, but at this point I am anxious to see what the growth progress was from yesterday. 

Fingers crossed for at least two growing!

irishgirl0525

owlprof:

Oh goodness...I hope your work day finally ended! 

Wishing you lots and lots of luck over the next couple days!

Maybe if Tebow ends up with you guys, you could ask him to lay his hands on you.  (to clarify, this is a faith healing technique practiced by evangelicals and is suggested in jest; I'm not advocating for something that could land you on the wrong end of a sexual harrassment dispute). 

Owlprof, don't think this didn't cross my mind in an insane moment yesterday. And I meant it in the faith healing technique way too, not the sexual harassment way