Monday, February 13th 8:00 PM ? Water breaks. Snow storm. Went to hospital right away.
Tuesday, February 14th 5:00-ish AM ? Epidural time ? no changes in cervix. Labored all through the day.
8:00 PM ? I realize something isn?t right. Strangest/Worst pain I?ve ever felt. Dialated to 8-9 but stops.
9:45ish ? Told I?m having an emergency C-section.
10:07 PM ? Dominic James Allen is born. I hear the faintest cry and am put out.
After ? Dominic is sent to Children?s Hospital ? an hour away due to suspected sepsis. I?m told that I have an abnormal uterus and was very near death during the c-section due to loss of blood and infection. I?m told if I ever decide to have children again, it would be very high risk.
Now ? Been hell but getting better. He?s beautiful and probably the cutest thing I?ve ever seen in my life. I?m in love, even when it?s tough.
Long, Long Version:
I would say that everything started on Monday, February 13th at my 40-week appointment. My midwife checked me and said I was only dilated to 1cm ? we talked about everything and had decided if he didn?t show by that Thursday, they would induce me. I left and drove an hour to work. That afternoon I felt crampy but figured it was because of my exam. Late that afternoon it started snowing and I had a long drive home. I made jokes that he?d probably pick the one day that we had a snow storm to come. Little did I know those jokes would come back to haunt me.
That evening my younger brother came over, like had been for the past week, to stay with me ? just in case. He brought me the Chinese food I had been craving and we sat down to watch The Thing. We were about 10 minutes into the movie when I bent over and felt like I had peed my pants. I stood still for a moment and it happened again. It hit me. My water broke! I stared at my brother and as calmly as possible told him what was happening. Of course, he completely freaked out. I made my way to the bathroom and just sat on the toilet trying to calm myself. I really couldn?t believe it was happening ? I thought for sure I?d end up being induced. I finally got him to call my friend Amanda who had to drive through the snow to get to us. The drive in to the hospital was slow but went okay - we were laughing and I was feeling pretty decent through the contractions, but honestly more nervous than I?ve ever been in my life.
Upon arrival at the hospital, they had me change and put me on the monitor ? my contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart at that point. I got up to walk and every time I did it felt like the contractions stopped - so I ended up back in bed. My ?plan? was that I wanted to walk around and hopefully have a waterbirth in the end, but honestly I didn?t want to do anything but be in that bed. (Word to the Wise: Throw those damn birth plans out the window ? that is such a joke.) I labored for 10 hours without any meds and felt like I was handling it well. At one point the nurse gave me some sort of pain medicine (even though I was telling her no the entire time) and I ended up extremely sick and felt like I was on a bad acid trip. I had to close my eyes until the feeling went away ? it was terrible because I could still feel pain but felt too paralyzed to even say anything. Finally, I was checked again and had made little to no progress and they recommended the epidural since it would at least be a good 8 hours. I was exhausted so I finally agreed. I won?t lie, getting the epidural was scary. At one point he hit a nerve and I felt it all the way down my leg ? not fun. But the actual procedure was okay ? I never really felt the needle or anything. I was able to rest a couple hours before the epidural stopped working ? and never really worked again. Then?things got hazy. I don?t remember a lot other than concentrating on breathing through my contractions for several hours. Eventually I dilated to a 8-9 but everything stopped, that?s when they started the Pitocin and kept raising and raising it until the contractions NEVER stopped. Hours later, no change. That?s when things got bad. At about 8PM, I started telling everyone that something felt really wrong. I knew that what I was feeling absolutely could not be normal. Everyone kept telling me it was almost over, that I?d be okay. I then remember watching them hang a bag of antibiotics. I had gone over the 24 hour mark. Little did I know, his heart rate had been dropping dangerously low and I had started getting a fever. They slowly started talking about a c-section but I resisted until they gave me no option. Before I knew it, everyone seemed strange and frantic and I remember being wheeled down the hallway into the OR. My mother sat at my side holding my hand. I remember being terrified that I?d feel something since the epidural never worked, but I really didn?t. Then?I heard the faintest cry and seconds later my anesthesiologist had a strange look on his face. He leaned over and said he was giving me medicine to calm me. I remember thinking at that very moment that he was putting me to sleep?.that something had to be very wrong?.that the little faintest cry I had heard might be the last thing I ever hear?..I might not wake up from this. I thank God and the gifts he gave the surgeons that it wasn?t the case, and luckily, I did wake.
What I woke to was just as scary. My midwife came in and told me my son was being transported 60-miles away to Children?s Hospital because they worried he had Sepsis. She then said there were complications with myself and I had lost a lot of blood. I also could feel a tube going down my throat. I was scared and confused. Then I was out. When I woke again I was back in my room but it was completely dark. I tried to scream for someone, but nothing came out. I tried to move my hands to find the call light, but I couldn?t move. As strange as it sounds, for a split second, I thought I had died. Then the lights flipped on and I was surrounded. My Mother stood at my side crying, looking scared to death. They tell me they have to take my son. The only words I could get out were to my Mom, telling her to go with him. I could not stand the thought of him being alone. Then they asked me his name and I whispered Dominic. I don?t remember seeing him that day but I do remember feeling his tiny little feet when they laid him in my arms for a very brief moment. Then?he was gone. The lights went out and I was alone. I prayed that it was all a nightmare.
When I woke the next morning and the first thing I noticed was the tube down my throat and that every time I tried to swallow, I?d throw up. Every time I?d throw up, it felt like my abdomen was being torn apart. I begged every person that walked into the room to take the tube out but kept getting the whole ?We have to wait for the doctor? routine. He finally came and agreed it could be removed.
Days later I would find out what happened. I was told that when they opened me up, I had started losing a lot of blood ? which is when they put me out. They found that I had an abnormal uterus. That the top, instead of being a muscle, was a big ball of veins. I was told I should have never been allowed to go into labor and that delivering vaginally could have taken both our lives. I was also told that I had severe infection in my bowels and that they were twisted, which is why I had the tube down my throat. This all explained the severe pain I had been feeling towards the end of labor with the contractions.
Finally, 4 days after the birth of my son, I was released from the hospital and immediately went to see him. I was so nervous. I was scared he wouldn?t know me. My world changed the moment they put this little human in my arms. I was in shock that he was really mine. That this was the thing inside of me for 9 months driving me completely insane. I stayed at the hospital with him the next few days until he was released. And finally, we got to go home as a family of 2. Me and my little man to take on the world.
The first couple weeks were hell, I won?t sugar coat it. There have been times that I just sat and cried. It?s the scariest and hardest transition I?ve ever been through but when he makes a cute little noise, or looks my way when he hears my voice ? I realize it was all worth it. I don?t know what the future holds for Dominic and I but I know we?ll get through it together. Look out world!