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2nd Trimester
jw87
member
Anyone deciding now not to breast-feed?
jw87
member
Hold your flames...
I have a horrible social anxiety, that with the proper medication, helps me 100%... but since becoming pregnant I have had to switch since the medications are not safe for baby. The new medications do not work well, so much that I feel really out of control and I cannot WAIT until this baby comes and I can be my old self. If anyone has suffered from depression, it's sort of like that... the fog of just wanting to feel like your old happy self (I had PPD with DS #1, so i can tell you the longing to just feel "normal" again is so intense like that.).
Obviously these medications will not be safe to take while breast-feeding and I know that me being me will help our family more than the benefits of breast-feeding. So once our kiddo is out I will be starting the medications asap.
But, the Mommy guilt is there... someone tell me I'm being ridiculous, that it's OKAY! And if anyone is in the same boat... I could use some company.
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Re: Anyone deciding now not to breast-feed?
I'm not and have never been one of those "if you don't BF your baby, then you're not a good mother, etc" kind of person. I attempted it with DD and a month into it, I developed mastitis. This mastitis developed into MRSA and that's nothing to play with and if anyone has been through mastitis, you know it's very painful and can just take the "motivation" out of you to continue pumping/BF'ing. This time around, I feel more "challenged" to make it happen and pump more often and learn more about BF'ing so that I can hopefully prevent mastitis from occuring and like my OB said, at least this time around, I'll know the signs earlier on this time because I've been through it before. OB also said she had it with all three of her pregnancies. That was a little downer for me, but I'm still taking on the challenge. I would like to pump like crazy (lol) and be able to store up enough so that if something does happen, I can at least feed baby on what I have built up. I already notice colostrum developing from the breast that wasn't affected and nothing has come of the breast that had mastitis in it. Not a great sign, but we'll just have to see what happens! OP, I'm currently on an anti-depressant and plan to ask OB about how that will change once baby is out of the womb and I'm BF'ing, if I have to ween myself off of it for baby to ween himself off as well, that is fine. You're not alone. Don't feel bad for deciding not too. ((Hugs!))
I BF my son for 13.5 months and plan on BF-ing again HOWEVER, I hate it when people think you have to BF or you are a bad mother. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing and whatever is best for your family. Your LO needs a happy, healthy momma and won't care how its fed!
Good luck!
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I think we should only judge mothers who choose to not feed their babies. Otherwise, every mom needs to make the decisions that are best for her and her family.
Personally, I'll breastfeed. I breastfed DD for over a year and for me, it was a great experience. I've battled depression but I'm fortunate that zoloft helps me, and it's a medication that's safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding. If zoloft didn't work for me, I would absolutely forgo breastfeeding in favor of my own mental health.
Yes! Breastfeeding is important IF you can do it! I feel like everyone should try for at least a short time IF it is possible--it's not possible if mom needs certain medications to be healthy and functioning. Your baby will benefit so much more from formula and a healthy mom than with breastmilk and a sick mom. I have had serious depression and anxiety problems since early childhood. I am currently not on medication and luckily doing very well. I plan on breastfeeding for as many years as LO will allow and I will tolerate some struggle, but my overall wellbeing will have to be of utmost importance, because if I'm too sick to tend to my baby because I'm not on medication, my baby will suffer tremendously.
Oddly, I don't feel much pressure to breastfeed. When I tell people my plans of doing it for at least a couple years the standard response is "well you know you have to stop when they start getting teeth" and "you think you want to now but you'll hate it do much you won't even last a week." And of course there's the hysterical laughter and "no, when the kid's old enough to ask for it, you need to stop." I'm sure to let them know I'm looking forward to that moment as a milestone rather than a sign to stop.
No matter what you do with your child people will ALWAYS judge. Breast or formula, cloth diapers or disposable, stroller or baby carrier, front facing in the car at 20 pounds or rear facing until 45 pounds, it goes on and on... either you're too overprotective and you need to stop coddling or you're uncaring and uneducated. People are ridiculous. You know what's best for your baby, and honestly, in this case, others know what's best too: a safe and healthy mom is an absolute requirement for your baby, no matter what sacrifices must be made. It's the most responsible choice you can make.
blog! thescenery.net
Lurker In.
Opting out of breastfeeding due to a medical neccessity is completely different than deciding not to because you just don't feel like it/think you'll ruin your boobs/think its too hard.
No one can flame you for that, lovie.
Plus, if you had to wean off your meds it would be dangerous IMO because you'll already be under a LOT of stress.
I think you're doing exactly what you should be doing.
Kudos.
Lurker Out.
This exactly! While I did BF my son for a year and plan to do so again if I was in your situation I would do exactly what you plan to do. You being healthy is very important for your little ones well being.
I honestly hope this is the case for most moms who formula feed. In my experience, its not the situation. I tried to BF both my boys. I did everything I could to increase supply, suffered tremendous guilt over having to buy formula and had to deal with judgement from acquaintances who repeatedly told me that if I "had just tried harder" I would have been able to BF. I'm sure you can only imagine how that made a new mom feel.
Thankfully I have a wonderfully supportive husband, doctor, family and close friends who helped me through. This time around, I dont know what I'll do. Part of me wants to try again and the other part of me remembers how much it hurt me, emotionally, to not be able to.
There's nothing wrong with formula. The only thing wrong is those that judge you for doing what's best for you and baby. In the end, a happy, healthy mom does far more for baby than BF, as far as I'm concerned.
I formula fed my first and I will be using formula again! Breastfeeding is not for me. And, to be honest I never even gave it a second thought. I was a happy new mom. My DD ate every 3-4 hours. I knew how much she was eating and I got HELP which is huge those first few weeks.
My DD is happy, healthy and has met or exceeded every milestone in the past 2.5 years. No one could ever convince me I made a bad decision by using formula.
And, to those who don't understand why someone wouldn't even try, I would suggest you stay out of people's personal business. I'm sure the Mama has a reason whether it be medical or just didn't want to (like me). You want to be able to NIP without being ridiculed. I want to feed my baby formula without being judged.
I should have specified in my experience. It is terrible that you felt that way. I get really bent out of shape how everyone and their mother feel that they are entitled to know and have an opinion about how you are feeding your child. The only people whose opinions I was interested in was my H and DD's doctor. Neither of which had a problem with formula.
I will most likely not be breast feeding. I had a breast reduction years ago and while i have feeling back, my left side is still super, super sensitive even to touch...like it almost hurts if you touch it a certain way. I can't just breast feed out of one boob, and since breast feeding and pumping in general can be painful or uncomfortable, I'm not willing to add that to my discomfort already.
Also, to be brutally honest, I want some freedom to eat what I want and to sleep when I need to, and not be attached to the baby all night who is trying to soothe itself with my boob instead of a soother. I also want the baby to bond with my husband while feeding too, so it lessens their separation anxiety. I know those who breast feed can pump and have dad feed too, but from what I have observed from my friends, they don't do this as much as they could, leaving the baby to have a fit eveytime mom leaves, and not be comfortable with dad. that would not be ideal for us, and would break my dh's heart as he wants to be super involved with everything.
I also don't want to deal with weaning when I have to go back to work. Better to start the bottle early so they are used to it. I was bottle fed, same with my sister and we are happy and healthy, so no harm done.
No one should flame period no matter the reason we choose not to. It's a personal/family choice and is no one business why someone chooses to ff and no one should ever feel like they have to spell out their reasons for it. Whether it's a medical reason or freedom of choice no one needs approval to ff from anyone.
No flames here, I'm just wondering if you've considered breastfeeding for the first few days while you're in the hospital to allow baby to get the colostrum.
The other thing I was thinking was that you would be surprised at how little doctors know about medications and breastfeeding. Sometimes they'll recommend that you not breastfeed with a medication that would be safe because they don't want to take the time to look it up. If you've already decided that for reasons other than the medication you prefer not to breastfeed, that's fine. But if you really would like to be able to breastfeed I would encourage you to do some research on the drugs that you feel are necessary or potential substitutes that might work as well.
I'm a big breastfeeding advocate and in general believe that most obstacles can be overcome. Obviously there are situations where that is not the case and yours may be one of them.
Mom to Lily Gayle 4.25.06 Charlotte Kathleen 3.27.09 Samuel Thomas ~8.4.12~
I won't be! I didn't with DS or DD, either. They're healthy and smart and we were really happy with our choice to formula feed.
I think BFing is overrated, anyway. I don't know that the benefits touted can all be chalked up to JUST the BFing - there are tons of great things we can do for our babies, boob feeding isn't the be all end all it's made out to be.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
More women in this world need to be like you!
I tried, some may say NOT hard enough but the experience I had will never ever be forgotten and it over shadowed that amazing experience of bonding with my son. I don't have regular nipples, they a slightly flat/inverted so latching was nearly impossible without a shield, ok so then I am a slave to that, fine. Well I ended up getting Mastitis 4 times in 2 weeks, got meds that didn't work, meds that weren't approved for BFing and had an allergic reaction. Depression crept in, with the immense guilt I carried for NOT wanting to BF'd any longer. As soon as I got over it (sought help) life was amazing. I'm 90-10 on BFing this time. I really don't think I want to do it, I just want to be healthy and happy. The moral to the story is women need to stop judging other mom's just on the fact they didn't BFd their babies, they don't know what their experience was.
Carina 12.28.2010 | Aurelia 9.23.12 | Chart - Round 3
I wish people would stop this insane guilt-ridden bashing of women who don't breast feed. I don't have that option, at.all. I had a double mastectomy in Oct. of 2010 and even if that hasn't happened, the likelihood of me breastfeeding anyways was very slim due to a reduction I had about 10 years prior to the mastectomy, and the family trait of inverted nipples.
I feel no guilt what.so.ever. about not being able to breast feed. I know I will bond with my baby regardless if it's over a bottle or breast. I know my baby will be healthy, happy, and grow just like any other baby. I *refuse* to feel guilty over something that is out of my control (taken away from me), and even if I had my original boobs, I wouldn't feel any guilt over making the decision to bottle feed instead of breast feed.
GL with your decision! Whatever YOU decide for YOUR baby will be the right one.
I don't think it's necessary to invalidate the importance of breastfeeding in order to validate the need for some mom's to formula feed. Boob feeding IS important for baby, but it's not as important as having a mentally healthy mom.
I don't think it's necessary to invalidate the importance of breastfeeding in order to validate the need for some mom's to formula feed. Boob feeding IS important for baby, but it's not as important as having a mentally healthy mom.
Sorry, double posted.
This exactly for me, too! I didn't BF either of my boys (due to my own personal choice and personal reasons) and they are 100% healthy, smart and thriving.
I won't be BF-ing DD, either. A happy mom = a happy baby.
I feel that you need to care for yourself first in order to provide the best care for you baby. If that means taking medications that will prevent you from breastfeeding, then by all means you need to do what you have to.
Maybe you can consider breastfeeding for a few days or a week, to provide the baby with the boost from colostrum. But if you are at risk for PPD, I would not feel a single ounce of guilt about starting formula right away. You need to be healthy to care for your family!
With ds I never even tried BFing. I was in grad school full-time and went back 2 weeks after he was born. I was having a hard enough time recovering from a c-section and episiotomy, that BF was so low on my list of things to do.
I don't regret my decision at all and I still think that DS being FF'ed was wonderful.
I do plan on BFing this baby but I am at a completely different place in my life.
~after 34 cycles we finally got our 2nd little bundle of joy~
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