When did you stop worrying?

KayJayDee

Hi!  I'm new to this board.  I'm 7weeks pg with twins through IUI (found out last week) and I feel like it's only a matter of time until someone tells me that I've lost one of my babies.  I have another u/s with my RE next Tuesday, but an appt this Thurs with my OB.  I don't know if he'll do an u/s or not, but either way, I feel like the possibility of a vanishing twin is there and I'm just waiting for it to be discovered.  Both sacs measured within the normal range, but one was definitely bigger than the other.  Good heartbeats for both.  

At what point were you able to relax and enjoy your pregnancy?  I don't expect this to be easy, but I'd like to think that at some point the fact that we're having two will sink in and I'll be able to accept it and get excited about it.  Right now, I'm still in shock (and a little denial).   

JenLC99

Sounds like we have a lot in common!  My two girls and boy/girl twins on-the-way are also donor conceived via IUI due to azoospermia.  Our situation with this pregnancy started out much different than most so I had legitimate reason to be worried from the get-go, and unfortunately it has plagued me throughout.  We initially conceived quads, and then one of our twins had a borderline NT measurement and we declined the amnio (all other ultrasounds have been clear) but I am still very afraid of her being born with T21.  Mostly I just try not to think about the negative things that could happen because I have little to no control over any of it, but that is easier said than done.  Hang in there, and congratulations!!!

Venuschild

Lol, never! It'll get better with time though.  

 

krismott25

from my minimal experience you trade one fear for another. i guess it's just part of being a parent. some days are better then others and once you hit the second tri it will feel more real.

GypsyEsq

Realistically never. But honesty I did stop worrying at about 8 weeks. And then lost one anyway. But it's in my personality to let my guard down and I'm truly not sorry I did. GL and congrats!

ks3pink

I worry a little less now that I can feel them moving around.  But I still have my moments.  I think it just comes with the territory.

TaylorandMel

Venuschild:

Lol, never! It'll get better with time though.  

 

This!  Even close to the end you think "if they were just here and I could see them I wouldn't have to worry.". I've just learned this isn't true.  I guess our jobs as a mom means we are ALWAYS going to worry--it's just going to be for different reasons and at different times.  I spent alot of my pregnancy praying. 

LegallyBlonde217

Congratulations!  I don't think I'll ever really stop worrying.  I did start to feel a little better after our NT scan at 12 weeks.  But even so, I have an appt Monday and I'm already starting to get nervous for the ultrasound. I think that fear will be there somewhat until they are in my arms, and then I will just start worrying about something else.

tootlebug

it never really went away for me.....just being honest.  and yes, the vanishing twin thing hangs over your head until like 15 weeks i would say.  honestly i think it's really good you are aware of it because it seems like a lot of people come on here after their 7 or 8 week ultrasound and are like "twins omg, 8 weeks along, what's it like, what's going to happen, i cant believe this!?"  i always cringe bc the vanishing twin thing does happen and it doesnt seem like they are preparing themselves at all for it and i just hate that anyone has to go through a m/c (ive had 2).

that being said, it's always good to be positive.  for me, i was so sick i couldnt focus on it much.  my OB referred to one "petering out" at my 10 1/2 week appointment when he saw that my 8 1/2 week u/s showed one at 8.61mm and the other at 6.64mm at the RE's office...he was like "there was that big of a difference??  well let's go check bc one could have petered out.".  ....i was too sick to worry but i didnt think so anyways bc my 3 ultrasounds with my RE were really positive...the RE was like "yeah, i of course dont know for sure but i cant see one of these going away based on these ultrasounds". 

i just feel like the OBs never really let you "relax" as you put it.  so i never really did.  the horrible morning sickness masked it but the minute i felt better it was worry central again. i suppose after i got past 25 weeks (im 35 1/2 weeks now) maybe i relaxed a little since my MFM appointments were going well.  but then i started having all of these gallbladder attacks so i was worried about not eating and the attacks causing PTL.  for me, the worry never really went away.  it's just so different than when i was pregnant with my son. 

marisuz28

I still haven't, and they're ten months old!  Honestly though, I worried throughout my pregnancy, especially because I couldn't feel B all the time (anterior placenta).  Good luck though, and congrats!

chickaboo1974

I was able to enjoy my pregnancy starting at 28 weeks ( I worried about PTL a lot)  Then at 31 weeks I was put on bedrest due to high BP... yep I was freaking out then since my older sister had lost a baby at 34 weeks due to placental abruption from high BP.  My guys ended up being delivered at 34 w 3 d.  Then I worried about SIDS... yep it is never ending worry.  I think that is what being a parent is all about.

starburst210

i never FULLY relaxed and i am still going......however....as you continue to reach certain milestones you will feel better each time....i got past 12 weeks, then knew they were chromosomally okay, then the anatomy scan ETC.

 

try to take one day at a time and hang in there!   

mars724

Venuschild:

Lol, never! It'll get better with time though.  

 

 

I agree with this, I just worry about different things now. 

Angelina2010

Just wanted to say Congrats to you and it is hard not to worry and you won't stop worrying. The vanishing twin syndrome is real but after 12 weeks you can try to relax about that.  Try your best to enjoy each day you have them (as I was told by another member here:)) 

allisonmarie22

I was well out of my first trimester before I even allowed myself to believe I was actually going to have 2 babies.  It was around that time I stopped checking for blood every time I peed.

Around 26 weeks, after being told for my first 2 trimesters that I was having a "picture perfect" pregnancy I really started to relax and started telling people everything was "perfect" when they asked about my pregnancy. 

At just before 28 weeks I took my first trip to L&D for PTL symptoms and now I'm on bed rest.  I am no longer relaxed, and I won't be again until I have 2 babies in my arms.

Not trying to scare you.  That's just what my experience has been.  Congratulations to you, though. Twin pregnancy is scary, but it's also a very special, unique experience that not a lot of people get to have. 

mrstanya78

Wow, we have so much in common we are due with in 2 days of each other and I am PG with twins through IUI as well. I have to say I am so cautious today we went for an US and I almost started crying before they started cause I thought it would be bad, I hope I can start to breathe better when we hit the second trimester! Thinking of you and your babies!

Kristen61607

Honestly? The day they were born. I also conceived my girls via IUI and was a nervous wreck the whole pregnancy. from two bleeding scares in the 1st tri, to a shortening cervix in the 2nd, to PTL in the 3rd, I was a nervous wreck the whole time. BUT despite all those "bad things" my girls were born very healthy at 37w4d!!! I hope you are able to relax unlike me!

ETA - When i was pregnant I always thought to myself "if I am THIS nervous while PG, what will I be like when they're here?! But for me it's TOTALLY different and better with them being outside babies! I'm really not an overly-worried parent at all even though I was a nutty PG lady!  

KayJayDee

Thanks, Ladies!  Hopefully things will continue on a positive note through to the end.  Glad to see I'm not the only one!  Looking forward to getting to know you all.