Anyone have a 4th degree tear

Jan312

I'm a new mommy. Had my my beautiful son 2 weeks ago. My recovery has been tough. I tore so bad during delivery and I'm so scared I won't heal to the way I use to be.  Can anyone offer any advice on what I can do to help healing or any advice to know I'm not alone?

jennadoll87

You're def. not alone...but i've found that people like you and I seem to be the minority. I really don't know anyone personally that has gone thru what i have. Im so sorry that happened to you.

My 4th degree was 4.5 years ago and i still struggle with it. between painful sex and painful bm's it is very life changing to experience. everything looks "normal" but it doesn't feel normal. This is something that i will probably always have to deal with, but the things that have really helped me are:

1. neosporin triple action. my ob recommended this because i still rip open sometimes as a result of sex, so this really helps me heal

2. miralax for the difficult bm's

3. sitz baths. I know you're not supposed to take baths real soon after delivery, but maybe try squatting in the tub and running a constant stream of warm water over yourself

Good luck and hang in there! i feel for ya!

daronsmommy

I also had a 4th degree tear, but unlike PP, I healed just fine. I still have a little bit of scar tissue inside, which if rubbed the wrong way during sex can be painful, but usually changing positions helps that. I used the hazel witch pads (I think that's what they're called) until I healed and my doc gave me the numbing spray, which really helped. The thing I remember that hurt the worst during recovery was trying to sit in a normal chair. I had to sit in a cushiony chair and I had to recline for the longest time. I cried one night because our friends came over for dinner and I couldn't sit at the table with them because it was too painful. I hope this gives you hope that you can heal and be pretty much back to normal. PP, I'm so sorry you are still dealing with the pain. (Hugs)

Jan312

Thank you for the replies. It's comforting to know I'm not alone. It was very traumatizing. I'm now in my 3rd week after giving birth. I can definitely feel improvement, but still have some pain. Sorry you both had similar experiences. It was all worth it to have such a beautiful baby!  Hoping everything goes back to normal. Thanks for the support!

retallica

I also had a 4th degree tear and tore my sphincter during delivery as well. Recovery has been extremely uncomfortable and painful, but I have found that I feel a little bit better each day that passes. I am a little over a week from my labor and I feel a million times better than I did those first few days.

I feel like nothing will ever be the same down there and that scares me. I worry every time I go to the bathroom that I am going to bust all my stitches. I am on stool softeners and what not, but it still scares me. I have been worrying about how I am going to be when I am all healed up. I feel like we won't ever be able to have sex again cause it is going to hurt too much.

I just never expected this much damage I guess. I just take it one day at a time and try to focus on feeling better each day.

The sitz baths the PP suggested have been amazingly helpful, I would definitely recommend this as well.

I hope you feel better soon!  

Jan312

Thank you! I hope you feel better soon too!  I am also nervous about having sex. I'm scared it will hurt and never be the same again. I am staying positive that everything will heal properly. I heard kegel exercises are very helpful. Also, I tried the sitz bath-which was great, but I now love my handheld showerhead. I highly recommend the showerhead-it seems to clean really well. I didn't like sitting in the sitz for too long. I'm still taking stool softeners. I am now waiting for my six week follow up with my Dr. I also want to follow up with a Physiotherapist. They will check the healing of the pelvic floor muscles, bladder, etc... and see if there is a need for further reconstruction. Has anyone been to a Physiotherapist? Just curious if it was helpful.

Retallica hang in there. I thought I was ruined for life after my first week, but everyday I seem to feel a little better.   

retallica

Jan312:

Retallica hang in there. I thought I was ruined for life after my first week, but everyday I seem to feel a little better.   

 Thank you so much! It is comforting to know that it will get better!  

daronsmommy

I put off sex for the longest time and was so scared the first time we did it. DH was great about it and kept asking if I was okay. My advice for that, when it's time, is to take your time and go slow. You'll figure out what you can do and what still hurts. My doc said at my 6 week checkup that I had scar tissue inside and it might be a little tender. She gave us the all clear, but i would say it took me several more weeks before i got the courage to try. Also, the stool softeners are great, don't stop taking them. I never went to a physiotherapist, I assume if I needed to my doc would have recommended it.

RA1109

You're not alone.  I had a 4th degree tear that got infected and my bowels started leaking into my vagina.  I had total reconstructive surgery at 12 weeks.  It was excruciating and I didn't heal till LO was 14 months old.  I was told that the surgical wound would never heal because of an internal tract, but I was lucky and it did heal whe LO was about 1 year old.  During that time I was so depressed, I felt completely broken.  Even after all that, life is relatively normal now.  I still have to use wipes instead of toilet paper, but for the most part I'm fully functional, and sex even feels good again.  We didn't have sex till he was 14 months old and it was painful for the first few months.  Strangely, all of the pain went away after my 2nd baby was born, even though I had a planned csection. It may seem like healing takes forever, but you will get there.

One thing that helped me was that my surgery was done by a cancer specialist, since fistulas are often caused by chemotherapy.  When I was in the office people would look at me sadly, since I was always the youngest there and I had a baby with me.  But it gave me perspective...these people were fighting for their lives, and I knew that I would move past the pain and frustration and go on with my life with a beautiful and healthy baby.  How sad that they had the same issues and might never be better.

My advice is to keep everything as clean as possible so that you don't get an infection.  If I had done a better job of keeping my incision clean I wouldn't have gotten infected.  And know that this too shall pass!  The whole thing engulfed my life for over a year, but now it's a distant memory and I have a beautiful little boy to show for it.  So worth it!