Thought I Was Stronger (long).......

acruz8179

I suffered a MC in February at 5 weeks and it was awful. We had been TTC for 8 months, my period was late so I took a test, but it came back negative. I started spotting on Feb 2nd and just thought it was my period, on Feb 8th, which just happened to be our 11 year wedding anniversary, I started to bleed heavily with lots of pain, I didn?t go to the doctor until the next day, I know that was dumb, and didn?t find out until then that I was PG. I spent the next two days having tests and the entire weekend waiting to get the results. My OB/GYN confirmed the MC on the 14th and even though I already knew in my heart what was happening, I was still devastated. The worst part was that I bled and passed tissue until the 22nd, I just wanted it to stop so I could grieve and move past it. It?s been a month since everything happened and I?m still having trouble, I cry at the most inopportune times and then am a giant B the next. I want to try again so bad, but I?m so worried about having another MC, my doctor is confident that I will be okay, but I just don?t know if I could handle that again?.

Greenbean0906

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Being worried about having another MC is a very common feeling. I'm right there with you. ((hugs))

kpowers982

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can assure you that you've come to the right place for support, and all of us have had your feeling or fears at one point or another - or are still feeling them.

I got my BFP after 7 months of TTC, which in the big scheme of things isn't terribly long, but I know it feels like FOREVER to us! It's so hard when you want something so bad and it doesn't happen right away, and when it does, it's cruelly taken away from you.  Good luck to you with your physical and emotional healing, I'm hoping better days are ahead for you.

heather4hawks

I don't think there is any amount of strength that would be sufficient to offset the grief of losing a baby. Nothing wrong with not going to the dr right away if you thought you were just having your period. It would not have changed the outcome anyways.

It only seems fair that a mc should happen and be over with quickly, to end the suffering and move on with life. I am still having to go in weekly to test my hcg levels and I understand completely about wanting it to be over with. If I can't be pg, then I want to be normal - not in between.

It seems to me that you are just going through the greiving process as we all do. I too am terrified to try again after my ectopic, but can't try until June- which is a relief and a frustration also.

kpowers982

heather4hawks:

I don't think there is any amount of strength that would be sufficient to offset the grief of losing a baby. Nothing wrong with not going to the dr right away if you thought you were just having your period. It would not have changed the outcome anyways.

It only seems fair that a mc should happen and be over with quickly, to end the suffering and move on with life. I am still having to go in weekly to test my hcg levels and I understand completely about wanting it to be over with. If I can't be pg, then I want to be normal - not in between.

It seems to me that you are just going through the greiving process as we all do. I too am terrified to try again after my ectopic, but can't try until June- which is a relief and a frustration also.

This is so well-put, it's exactly how I feel.  Thanks.