The snarky comeback thread :-)

shaindelr

Okay, Ladies,

Here it goes. The snarky comeback thread. What is/are/would be your snarky comeback(s) when someone tries to guilt you for being a WM?

These don't have to be realistic, but let 'er rip.

Here's mine (and this was because for some reason, nearly every student in my Fiction Writing class wrote a "husband having an affair with a secretary" story):

"I bet when you find out your husband is boffing the secretary, and you're wondering if you'll be homeless, my position will look pretty enviable"

I'd never use it, but it would be fun to watch jaws drop! (And I know "secretary" isn't PC, but it was stuck in my head from my students' stories.)

GeneGoddess

Usually it's an airy comment about how I love my lattes and fancy cars more than my children (which, if you know me, is hysterical since I don't drink coffee and drive a Prius).  Followed by a beautific smile.

Comments about daycare are usually responded to with a quip like, "I'm so glad I'm a rich doctor so that I can afford EXCELLENT care.  Money really does buy love from a nanny!  Haven't you read the Nanny Diaries?"

I follow the southern version of insults.  Make it sound like a compliment or agreement.  Bless her heart...

jlaOK

The one that bugs me the most is "I do work....I'm a full time mom"

My comeback is, "I'm a full time mom too, I'm just able to handle being a mom, having a successful career, cleaning, shopping, working out, etc. during the work week. What about you?" 

karleegirl

GeneGoddess:

Usually it's an airy comment about how I love my lattes and fancy cars more than my children (which, if you know me, is hysterical since I don't drink coffee and drive a Prius).  Followed by a beautific smile.

Comments about daycare are usually responded to with a quip like, "I'm so glad I'm a rich doctor so that I can afford EXCELLENT care.  Money really does buy love from a nanny!  Haven't you read the Nanny Diaries?"

I follow the southern version of insults.  Make it sound like a compliment or agreement.  Bless her heart...

I'm southern too. I love a good bless her heart after you rip em apart with a sugary smile! I usually just tell people im just so good at being an RN and a mom it would be a tragedy to do only one of those things. One co- worker commented about letting the daycare "raise" my kids. I asked her if the elementary teacher did good raising hers. She just walked away dumbfounded.

LadyXaverian

GeneGoddess:

  One co- worker commented about letting the daycare "raise" my kids. I asked her if the elementary teacher did good raising hers. She just walked away dumbfounded.

I was tempted to use this when a parent (I'm a teacher) made a passive aggressive comment to me about day cares raising kids. I wanted to say, "You don't seem to have a problem with me raising yours," but I knew I'd get in trouble, so I just stared and blinked until she changed the subject.

SunMoon&Stars

shaindelr:

"I bet when you find out your husband is boffing the secretary, and you're wondering if you'll be homeless, my position will look pretty enviable"

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!! Love it.

Realistically, I find that "I'm/We're comfortable with _________" delivered with just the right amount of smugness works wonders for a variety of inappropriate questions. 

 

Printergirl

Insurance doesn't grow on trees.

We like to eat.

Oh, are you paying my morgage and insurance?!? Thank you, that's so generous! 

I was asked once if I was a full time mom or if I worked. I responded with 'I'm a full time mom who works'.

Really I've gotten very little guilt except from some of the women I work with 'who never had to work when their kids were little. They just don't know how I can do it'. Others are really good about supporting me and bringing coffee.   My MIL tried to guilt me about daycare and I had to flat out say unless she was willing to quit her job and commute (2 hours) to our home each day the kids would be at daycare. That shut her up...after telling me I needed to research bc they aren't all good. Um, I picked our daycare when I was 5 months pg...you don't need to tell me this 1 week before I return to work.

GeneGoddess

GeneGoddess:

... I love my lattes and fancy cars more than my children...

A huge pet peeve of mine is when someone says, "Well, I want to stay home but I HAVE TO WORK".  I don't HAVE TO work (in order to keep our family afloat).  But I do have to work to make me a better person.  I LOVE my job.  I take care of YOUR kids when they need someone (I'm a Pedi ED doc).  Using the excuse that you would stay home "if only" you could denegrates the women who work because they enjoy it!

This is very much not directed at anyone here.  There are plenty of women (and men) who would stay home if financially feasible.   But it demonizes women who work because they WANT to.  That's why I often use (or at least think) the latte and car comment.

Spenjamins

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

Spenjamins

GeneGoddess:

GeneGoddess:

... I love my lattes and fancy cars more than my children...

A huge pet peeve of mine is when someone says, "Well, I want to stay home but I HAVE TO WORK".  I don't HAVE TO work (in order to keep our family afloat).  But I do have to work to make me a better person.  I LOVE my job.  I take care of YOUR kids when they need someone (I'm a Pedi ED doc).  Using the excuse that you would stay home "if only" you could denegrates the women who work because they enjoy it!

This is very much not directed at anyone here.  There are plenty of women (and men) who would stay home if financially feasible.   But it demonizes women who work because they WANT to.  That's why I often use (or at least think) the latte and car comment.

Slide over. I want to sit on the bench with you. This is my pet peeve as well.

cwm11985

karleegirl:

GeneGoddess:

Usually it's an airy comment about how I love my lattes and fancy cars more than my children (which, if you know me, is hysterical since I don't drink coffee and drive a Prius).  Followed by a beautific smile.

Comments about daycare are usually responded to with a quip like, "I'm so glad I'm a rich doctor so that I can afford EXCELLENT care.  Money really does buy love from a nanny!  Haven't you read the Nanny Diaries?"

I follow the southern version of insults.  Make it sound like a compliment or agreement.  Bless her heart...

I'm southern too. I love a good bless her heart after you rip em apart with a sugary smile! I usually just tell people im just so good at being an RN and a mom it would be a tragedy to do only one of those things. One co- worker commented about letting the daycare "raise" my kids. I asked her if the elementary teacher did good raising hers. She just walked away dumbfounded.

 

Hahaha I love all of these!

MammaBear81

Spenjamins:

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

I LOVE THIS!!!!

warriormomerin

I just tell them the truth:

"I was a SAHM when my husband raped our daughter and fled the country with all our savings."

Snarky? Maybe, but it teaches them to think before they speak. It's also my go-to response when people ask rude questions about why I got divorced or why I'm a single mom. There's a lot of rude people in this world. I've met my fair share of them. 

Margaret Lemon

Spenjamins:

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

That is too cute!  I bet she was speechless.

I have been on mat leave, but go back to work this Friday, so I will likely need a few good responses to some remarks as well.  

shaindelr

warriormomerin:

I just tell them the truth:

"I was a SAHM when my husband raped our daughter and fled the country with all our savings."

Snarky? Maybe, but it teaches them to speak before they think. It's also my go-to response when people ask rude questions about why I got divorced or why I'm a single mom. There's a lot of rude people in this world. I've met my fair share of them. 

I love you. Thanks, once again, for being so strong and honest.

warriormomerin

shaindelr:

warriormomerin:

I just tell them the truth:

"I was a SAHM when my husband raped our daughter and fled the country with all our savings."

Snarky? Maybe, but it teaches them to speak before they think. It's also my go-to response when people ask rude questions about why I got divorced or why I'm a single mom. There's a lot of rude people in this world. I've met my fair share of them. 

I love you. Thanks, once again, for being so strong and honest.

That should say "think before they speak." I should think before I type.

LaRue86

I had someone tell me I shouldn't let daycare raise my kids, I want to tell her she should let daycare raise her kids because they would be better off. She is an absolute nut job and her dh refers to his kids as terrorist.  

She had some unpleasant choice words about my c section. She has three kids and has gained a fair Amount with each and never lost any. I really can't wait till she sees that's have lost nearly 50 lbs below my pre pregnancy. If she comments I will probably be a bit snarky and say yeah I have lost x amount while working ft and taking care of everything else.

I also can't wait til she finds out we have a nanny...lol...that has to be way worse then daycare. Omg your kid is going to think the nanny is mom, doesn't that bother you? I can hear it now... 

racampbell1

Spenjamins:

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

  That's so great!!

JandB07

I love this thread!  I actually have never really had anyone say anything to me IRL about being a working mom.  The only exception was when I was getting my teeth cleaned and the dental hygenist asked if I stayed at home, when I told her no she gave a little sad sigh and said, "I'm sorry" so I just looked at her and said, "I'm not" that shut her up.

steph0501

Spenjamins:

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

That's awesome!!!

ksyknelvr73

I think I have been lucky, no one has ever really said anything to me. The only comment that has ever been made was by my own mother, who BY THE WAY was also a working mom to 3 kids - although we had an in-home (in OUR house) child care provider but I can't afford that, nor could I find anyone that I trusted while I was pregnant. I had called my mom to tell her that DS was sick (again) and she made the comment that if he wasn't in day care he wouldn't get sick so often. Yes, mother, I know that's true, but what do you suggest that I do?? DS loves his day care, loves his teachers, loves being there and they love him - which is so important to me. They do a great job. They can't help that he gets sick. So I told my mom if she felt like coming and watching him full time at my house (an hour away for her) then she was more than welcome and I'd take him out of day care. She hasn't said anything to me since then.

GeneGoddess

JandB07:

I love this thread!  I actually have never really had anyone say anything to me IRL about being a working mom.  The only exception was when I was getting my teeth cleaned and the dental hygenist asked if I stayed at home, when I told her no she gave a little sad sigh and said, "I'm sorry" so I just looked at her and said, "I'm not" that shut her up.

Simple and sweet!  I'm stealing this one!

laurakaz13

MammaBear81:

Spenjamins:

My favorite from my then 6 year-old nephew. A SAHM came to his class and talked about her day. My nephew said in front of the class, "My Mom does all that AND she is a doctor!"

I LOVE THIS!!!!

LOVE!!!!