How blunt are you if you can't rec someone?

shaindelr

Hi, All,

It's Finals Week, and I feel like I'm going crazy with grading already, but I thought I would put this one out there. How blunt are you when someone asks you for a recommendation letter for a job, grad school, scholarship, etc., or to use you as a reference, and you can't give them a good rec?

I sort of "dodge" the issue. I just sent someone a message that said, "I think it would be best if you find someone more recently acquainted with your work. I'm sorry."

I'm just curious what other people do?

TIA!

 

Pesky

Yep, I usually go the "there is probably someone who knows you better/knows your work better/better suited" kind of excuse.  If it is for a written letter, I can also beg that I don't have time right now and given the timing it would be best to find someone else.

shaindelr

Pesky:

Yep, I usually go the "there is probably someone who knows you better/knows your work better/better suited" kind of excuse.  If it is for a written letter, I can also beg that I don't have time right now and given the timing it would be best to find someone else.

Thanks, Guys. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one losing it. Like, what about me giving you a C or a D makes you think I can recommend you for anything? I just didn't know if I was doing the standard polite thing to do.

madhatter2003

I've done the same...if it's not someone I'd be willing to stand behind, I find a polite way to pass.

LuaBear

As a faculty member, I feel like writing letters of rec (especially for the members of my lab), is a part of my job.  That said, a letter of rec does not necessarily mean it will be a good one.  We have a written rule in my lab policy explaining this.  I am generally fairly blunt and say something like "I would be happy to write a letter, but given that we had issue X, I would think that there might be someone else who could best sing your praises.  This is your decision".  If the student still says they want a letter (some still do!), I wrote a letter saying something like "Student Y worked in my lab from June to August of 2010. She was primarily responsible for making photocopies".

LouiseB2001

LuaBear:

As a faculty member, I feel like writing letters of rec (especially for the members of my lab), is a part of my job.  That said, a letter of rec does not necessarily mean it will be a good one.  We have a written rule in my lab policy explaining this.  I am generally fairly blunt and say something like "I would be happy to write a letter, but given that we had issue X, I would think that there might be someone else who could best sing your praises.  This is your decision".  If the student still says they want a letter (some still do!), I wrote a letter saying something like "Student Y worked in my lab from June to August of 2010. She was primarily responsible for making photocopies".

This. When writing letters of recommendation for research positions, what is in the letter is the most important thing. So I tend to write letters for whomever asks, but he honest in them. If it is someone I really don't know I'll suggest they find someone else to write the letter.