Need some encouragement and venting

SouthMinnieAppleMama

I will have 2u2 but just barely. My toddler is 14 months about and is a monster! At 12 months I went to the bathroom to return to him standing on the kitchen table. Or any time we go outside he bolts for the street to see all the cars (we are hoping to build a fence in a month). And he always seems to be mad at me especially when I can't hold him all day(he's been walking for 4 months). We also don't have a dishwasher and DH always seems to find a way out of helping... And I work from home 30hrs a week. 

Number 2 was definitely a surprise and I just don't know that I can do this. Is anyone else stressing out or have any wisdom for me? I am just praying that my DS settles down a bit before the new baby comes.

silkyhorse

I don't have much advice since I'm only a few months ahead of you   But, your toddler really will change a lot between now and when baby #2 comes.  My son just very, very recently started playing by himself a lot better now at almost 20 months old.  He now doesn't follow me around from room to room nearly as much as he did just a few weeks ago.  I can tell him, "Mommy is going to the bathroom, I'll be back in a minute," and he will often just keep playing.

Regarding the wanting to be held all the time, the key is to stay firm once you've said, "No, you don't need to be held right now."  I think this will get easier as you get more pregnant and holding him gets more uncomfortable.  At this point, my son knows that Mom just doesn't hold him a lot (while standing, we do cuddling while sitting quite a lot).  Most of the time, if I do agree to pick him up, I'll go to a chair with him and sit him on my lap.  He then quickly loses interest in being held.  Of course, the minute Daddy walks in the door, Daddy gets all of the "hold me" requests that Mommy wouldn't fulfill all day

MammaBear81

Hi!  I could write a novel on 2 under 2, but I will try to keep it short and sweet:

1) Your toddler WILL get better- there is a lot of growing (physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively) that goes on between 12-14 months.

2) When he wants to be held (when possible) go down to his level, sit, squat, kneel and let him hug you.  This makes it easier for him to get the "comfort" he needs and then when he is OK he will eventually get up and go.

3) You have a climber, if you can find a "toddler safe" area that you can gate off.  When the baby comes you will have to feed, change and put the baby to sleep, and it's a lot easier to do when you know your older one is safe.

4) Outside- stand between him and the street- get down to his level and let him know that if he doesn't keep trying to sneak past you that you will need to go inside. If he keeps fighting to get past you, take him inside.  If you HAVE to get out of the house try going on a walk with him in the stroller.

5) DH- he has to pitch in- no excuses.  Talk to him, set up a chart, or take turns (one person does dishes M,W, F, other person T, TR. S and share Sunday, or whatever works for you two).

 

Hope that helps, I aimed to be short and sweet, I don't think that quite happened!

celiabwatson

Well MammaBear stole all the good tips

I'll go for the encouragement angle then. My son is also a handful. He's a climber, strong-willed, still learning to STTN at age 2+ and throws a heck of a tantrum. My daughter is the easiest baby on the face of the planet. She has been STTN since 2.5 weeks. She will happily play by herself while I clean etc. She's growing beautifully and rolling over already (which has its downsides too).

Anyway, I think it's karma and I deserved an easy one. Maybe you do too? Just don't come back here and get mad at me later if it doesn't work out that way.

Oh, and your husband absolutely needs to be helping more. Work those details out BEFORE the baby comes. 

MrsEllis10

MammaBear81:

Hi!  I could write a novel on 2 under 2, but I will try to keep it short and sweet:

1) Your toddler WILL get better- there is a lot of growing (physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively) that goes on between 12-14 months.

2) When he wants to be held (when possible) go down to his level, sit, squat, kneel and let him hug you.  This makes it easier for him to get the "comfort" he needs and then when he is OK he will eventually get up and go.

3) You have a climber, if you can find a "toddler safe" area that you can gate off.  When the baby comes you will have to feed, change and put the baby to sleep, and it's a lot easier to do when you know your older one is safe.

4) Outside- stand between him and the street- get down to his level and let him know that if he doesn't keep trying to sneak past you that you will need to go inside. If he keeps fighting to get past you, take him inside.  If you HAVE to get out of the house try going on a walk with him in the stroller.

5) DH- he has to pitch in- no excuses.  Talk to him, set up a chart, or take turns (one person does dishes M,W, F, other person T, TR. S and share Sunday, or whatever works for you two).

 

Hope that helps, I aimed to be short and sweet, I don't think that quite happened!

WOW, this is great advice. My DD is only 7 months now and is a wonderful and happy baby until it's time to sleep which we are working on now (exhausting). Seriously, this is great stuff. Makes my anxiety level a bit lower!  

angelwings111

MammaBear81:

Hi!  I could write a novel on 2 under 2, but I will try to keep it short and sweet:

1) Your toddler WILL get better- there is a lot of growing (physically, mentally, emotionally, cognitively) that goes on between 12-14 months.

2) When he wants to be held (when possible) go down to his level, sit, squat, kneel and let him hug you.  This makes it easier for him to get the "comfort" he needs and then when he is OK he will eventually get up and go.

3) You have a climber, if you can find a "toddler safe" area that you can gate off.  When the baby comes you will have to feed, change and put the baby to sleep, and it's a lot easier to do when you know your older one is safe.

4) Outside- stand between him and the street- get down to his level and let him know that if he doesn't keep trying to sneak past you that you will need to go inside. If he keeps fighting to get past you, take him inside.  If you HAVE to get out of the house try going on a walk with him in the stroller.

5) DH- he has to pitch in- no excuses.  Talk to him, set up a chart, or take turns (one person does dishes M,W, F, other person T, TR. S and share Sunday, or whatever works for you two).

 

Hope that helps, I aimed to be short and sweet, I don't think that quite happened!

All of this! LOVE