Infertility

Clicky Poll Time: DH at your RE appointments

I had my RE with me at all my RE appointments for monitoring but now wondering if that was overkill as there is not a lot he can do at these.

So, tell me.....

[Poll]

Multiple ectopics, 2 failed IVF's
IVF #1: Did not get to ET, embies all failed PGD (major chromosomal defects)
IVF #2: We have 2 chromosomally perfect embies as a result of PGD (Boy/Girl) 1 failed the thaw (Girl) Transferred 1, yet ended as a c/p
Thought it was the end of our TTC Journey 6/20/2012
SHOCK BFP 9/28/2012: IT'S A BOY! and everything is normal !!!!!!

Little A born 38w 2d on 05/23/13 and is a true miracle for this IF Vet!
 

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Re: Clicky Poll Time: DH at your RE appointments

  • My DH has come with me to some weekend monitoring appointments, the IVF orientation session, and of course to the hospital when I had my lap.  He works outside the city, though, so it would be asking him a lot to come to weekday monitoring and consultation appointments.  But whenever I've needed him to show up he's been there.  :-)
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  • DH works nights so having him come to all my monitoring would be a lot to ask. I didn't need him, and never felt like I wished he were there. He did come to any appt where his opinions and support matters though (IVF orientation, ER, ET and any tests that he needed to get done). 
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    TTC since March/April 2010
    DX: MFI - less than 1 million sperm, 26% motility
    DH put on anastrozole to increase counts
    June/July 2011 100 mg Clomid + TS IUI#1 & IUI 2 - BFN :-(
    Forced break due to DH getting spinal surgery in August 2011
    IVF - January 2012: BFN
    FET in April 2012 - BFP at 6dp5dt! Beta #1 at 9dp5dt: 82.5, Beta #2 at 12dp5dt: 352 Beta #3 at 19dp5dt: 6000, saw heartbeat and one little bean at 5W6D!
    After nearly 3 years of waiting our LO was born December 18th 2012!
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  • I had him with me for all the early testing/ monitoring while we were getting our diagnosis.

    It turns out that he is stressed out by being at the doctors office. Being around him while he is stressed out makes me anxious. Him being around me while I anxious ratchets his stress/anxiety levels even higher...which I turn makes me even more anxious. It's a massive negative feedback loop. Once I realized how bad it was getting I asked him to skip the basic appointments to limit my own stress levels.

    So now he only comes when it's needed. Transfer/retrieval/consent signing. He came to the pregnancy ultrasound and to the rushed ultrasound after I started to miscarry but he didn't come to the ultrasound to confirm that I miscarried. I decide when he comes

    The major downside is now that we have gone from being a simple case to a difficult case- he was left out of so many WTF and planning meetings with the doc/nurses that he no longer feels like there is any rhyme or reason to the testing and protocols and it's making him much less willing to keep going if he thinks the doctor is just throwing spaghetti at the wall instead of following the logical approach that I see.

    But I still wouldn't want him there for basic monitoring. It's bad enough I'm getting my vagina probed without him cracking uncomfortable jokes (his method of dealing with stress) at the same time. He's too accustomed to saving his introvert/shy wife from being the center of attention... And there's just no way to avoid being the center of attention when you have your feet up in stirrups for the whole world to look.

    image
    Friends for 17 years. Married 10. TTC since Jan 2009.
    3 IVFs, 4 FETs, 11 transferred embryos, 3 losses (c/p, 6w, 17w)
    2012: Lost "Peanut" at 17weeks to PTL/IC.
     Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    2013: IVF#3/FET#4  Elisabeth CJ born April 30, 2014
    Cerclage, P17, and 3 months of bed rest brought us our Rainbow.
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
     Dum spiro, spero.
  • My DH comes to all appointtments except for monitoring. He has come to one or two ultrasounds that occurred on a weekend, but otherwise I go to those solo. I have not always gone with him when he gets b/w done either.
    After 5 TI Clomid cycles, 5 IUIs, and 2 IVFs we finally got our BFP!
    Beta#1 (12dp3dt)= 353, Beta#2 (15dp3dt)= 1466, Beta#3 (22dp3dt)= 14,139, First u/s: TWINS!!
    After 10 weeks of bedrest, our two little ladies joined us at 28w6d
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • imageThereBeDragons:

    I had him with me for all the early testing/ monitoring while we were getting our diagnosis.

    It turns out that he is stressed out by being at the doctors office. Being around him while he is stressed out makes me anxious. Him being around me while I anxious ratchets his stress/anxiety levels even higher...which I turn makes me even more anxious. It's a massive negative feedback loop. Once I realized how bad it was getting I asked him to skip the basic appointments to limit my own stress levels.

    So now he only comes when it's needed. Transfer/retrieval/consent signing. He came to the pregnancy ultrasound and to the rushed ultrasound after I started to miscarry but he didn't come to the ultrasound to confirm that I miscarried. I decide when he comes

    The major downside is now that we have gone from being a simple case to a difficult case- he was left out of so many WTF and planning meetings with the doc/nurses that he no longer feels like there is any rhyme or reason to the testing and protocols and it's making him much less willing to keep going if he thinks the doctor is just throwing spaghetti at the wall instead of following the logical approach that I see.

    But I still wouldn't want him there for basic monitoring. It's bad enough I'm getting my vagina probed without him cracking uncomfortable jokes (his method of dealing with stress) at the same time. He's too accustomed to saving his introvert/shy wife from being the center of attention... And there's just no way to avoid being the center of attention when you have your feet up in stirrups for the whole world to look.

    Our husbands sound so similar it's scary - except for that mine didn't come to all the initial testing.  He had just started a new job (literally a month or so before) so it was hard to ask for a lot of time off so early on. 

    Me: 35 DH: 37 TTC since 4/2010
    DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
    IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
    1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
    FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
    FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
    7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
    EDD 2/22/2013
    PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
    imageimageimageimage
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • My DH comes to all RE appointments--meaning appointments with the actual doctor.  He didn't come to any appointments for blood tests/ultrasounds/monitoring of any kind.
    imageimage
    Me: 35 DH: 30 TTC since 1/2010 DX: 6/15/2011: MFI IVF with ICSI

    IVF #1: Sept 2011: Beta 10/10- BFP!! 1st u/s 10/31/11 1 blighted ovum, 1 embryo 2nd u/s 11/14/11 stopped growing, no h/b D/C 11/17/11

    IVF #2: FET 5/4/12 : Beta 5/16/12 BFN

    IVF #3: ET 7/6/12 : 7/18 Beta #1 BFP at 246, 7/20 Beta #2 at 713, 7/27 Beta #3 at 9068. 1st u/s 8/7 with one lovely hb.
    Mabel is here! 2/17/13!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • DH comes to almost all of my appointments, but it's not so much about being there for me, as it is that I need a driver.    Three of the four clinics I went to were over three hours away and I have pretty poor vision.    With the last one, I was able to do my monitoring locally so I was able to drive myself, he still went to two of of those.  He can read the ultrasound screen from across the room and we get more information that way.   

    We are also fortunate that we both work out of the home.

    TTC #1 since 9/07
    Dx MFI, AMA, Endo, AMH .16
    Lap 10/09 Removed endometrioma, stage IV endo and adhesions
    Lap 2/10 Endometrioma cysts & adhesions returned.
    Ivf #1 4/10 Antagonist, ET Cancelled.
    IVF #2 2/11 A/ACP+E2V C/P
    IVF #3 6/11 Letrozole/Antagonist BFN
    IVF #4 11/11 Low stim Antagonist BFN
    Lap 3/12 Lap & Selective HSG
    Many cycles of Letrozole and LP HCG w/TI and LDN
    IVF #5 8/12 Low stim BFN
    IUI #1 10/12 BFN br> S&PAIFW
  • He stopped coming for a CD3 and whatnot its not really necessary... and our Dr can sometims have long waits.  He will obviously come for our IVF consult next week... but not for monitoring and things like that.
  • Mine does not come for monitoring or bloodwork.  Everything else he is there!

    image
    After 6 long years of TTC and a traumatic birth... I finally got to hold my baby in my arms!

    'Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.'Psalm 37:4

    2006 start TTC

    2007 Start w/ RE (Endo and MFI previous marriage)/ 2008 Vericocele surgery/3 clomid cycles
    2009 Lap removed stage III endo/ 2 failed IUI/ Divorce

    2011 Remarried
    October 2011 Dx: Endo & DOR/ November 2011- clomid & TI cycle
    January 2012 IVF~  Flare protocol 10 ER/ 9 mature fertilized with ICSI/ ET- 2 Grade A Blasts/ 4 frozen= BFN
    Febuary 2012- -Endo Biopsy/  MTHFR diagnosis
    March 8- FET 2 grade A blasts= BFP!!!!

    November 2012-  Charles was born by emergency C-Section

    Dealing with:
    Stage III Endo/ DOR/ MTHFR two mutations C677T & A1298C

    Currently TTC #2  FET planned January 2014

  • DH only comes to appointments where we get specific info or they  need info from him. His job has crazy hours and I'd rather he use his time off for the days/times that are SUPER important and not just random monitoring/bloodwork days. It's really exhausting to wake up for all of the monitoring appts and I hate for both of us to have to go through that unnecessarily. This way, DH knows that when I ask him to be at an appt, he definitely needs to be there.

    That said, if I wanted him to be at all of my appointments, he would absolutely make that happen. 

    I suck at getting pregnant
    I really suck at staying pregnant
    image
  • I said ?other?... DH came to every single appointment (monitoring included) when we were doing IUI?s.  After three cycles, once we started IVF the process was getting a bit old and I told him that he really didn?t need to come.  He skipped two appointments and then felt bad that he wasn?t going and has come with me since.  He says it is the least he can do with everything I have to go through! ...I am so thankful I have such a sweet hubby!


    ***SIGNATURE WARNING***


    TTC #1

    Me 42, DH 47

    Dx = AMA/DOR, MFI

    IVF/ICSI #1 = BFN

    IVF/ICSI #2 = BFP; early loss

    IVF/ICSI #3 (DE) = BFP; early loss

    FET = BFN

    IVF/ICSI #4 (DE w/ CCS) = BFP

    Beta #1 @ 10dp6dt = 265; Beta #2 @ 14dp6dt = 1251. 

    1st U/S @ 6w2d showed one perfect little heartbeat! 

    2nd U/S @ 7w2d. HB 132 & everything measuring on track.

    Our beautiful little girl arrived January 2015!


  • My DH came for ER and ET, and that's about it.  Oh, and he came for the WTF after my failed IVF.  He works crazy hours, and I don't really need him there for dates with the dildo cam.  He got more involved by helping me with my shots, though, so that made him feel plenty connected.  I think everyone is different on this.  Some girls want their DH's there, and some don't.  I think what matters most is your comfort level.
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  • He's come to all discussion/education appointments, one of the IUIs, the HSG, the hysteroscopy, the IVF ER and ET and the disastrous pregnancy ultrasounds.

    He's offered to come to other appointments, for instance he said he'd be happy to accompany me to the saline ultrasound last week, but geography wise it doesn' t make sense. It's 45 minutes and we'd be taking 2 cars because my work is halfway in between.

  • He went in for the initial consult, his SA testing, the appointment when I first started injectibles, and the actual IUI.  He does not go to routine monitoring appointments.

    image
    DOR and AMA
    2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
    7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
    Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
    Follow up testing in September all clear;
    Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
    FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
    12/12- Officially an OB patient!
    Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
    Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
    Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
    Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
    Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
    FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
    DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
    FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN

    Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)

    Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids

    Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN

    Likely OAD- NBC

  • DH only comes to the appts where he's needed or if I'm feeling particularly anxious sometimes I'll ask him to come.  He asked me a lot of questions and if I needed him there but I just really couldn't see any reason for him to be there for blood work/monitoring and ultrasounds, they go pretty quick and there's not a lot to it. 
    Unexplained infertility; TTC #1 for 5 years
    IUI #1; m/c;c/p 3/15/2012
    IUI #2: Clomid, ovidrel trigger, prometrium;4/5/12; BFFN; IUI #3, clomid and injects; Beta June 8th????
    imagePhotobucket
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