Nice try.

+j+k+

As suspected, SD is trying to stir up more drama.  She told SS a bunch of lies and distorted a bunch of things that have happened and bitched about me.  I don't really care - I expected her to, however, it's something DH and I don't need during this already tense and stressful time. DH came to me and clarified if I in fact said or did what she says I did. Of course it was all no. Some of it was true, but not in the context she was putting it in.

She tried telling SS I did and said all these things on facebook and tried to email her as her dad and get on his facebook as him and said all these things about her. All false.  She took one comment I said and (to her privately and NOT on facebook) and tried to completely turn it into something it is not and weave it into this big orchestration of me trying to malign her character publically. Sorry SD, I don't do that. You do well enough on your own. 

DH and I had a good talk today. I told him that this is no surprise. He can address it if he wants but I'm ignoring it and her.  He said he had no interest in addressing it with her, she's been very disrespectful and he doesn't want or need the drama right now. 

I also told him that my only concern is that SD is once again trying to come between him and another woman in his life.  She did it to all of his girlfriends, she's done it to her two half sisters, she's repeatedly tried it with me and told someone that she intends to do that with me.  I told DH this and warned him, "You watch. In the coming years she will try to destroy your relationship with DD.  Just watch." I told him that she should know that will be the biggest mistake she will ever make, messing with my daughter because I will come down on her like I've never come down on her and she will regret messing with DD in any way. I won't stand for it and I will shut her down quickly and hard.  DH agrees. He said he won't ever let it happen either.

I have come to the realization that SD really is mentally disturbed.  I knew this, she was diagnosed with Borderline, but she can function so normally, so it was hard to really truly see it and accept it as a mental illness. Now it's really hit home.  She is becoming her mother. She IS her mother.  Her mom did these things.  Her mother is severely messed up as well. I am a little mad, but now I am at the point that I feel really sorry for her and really see this for what it is.  SHe's messed up.  I can not do anything more for her except pray that some day she gets professional help.  So I'm going to stay removed and protect DD.  That's all I can do.  I told DH this and he finally agrees that I don't have to deal with her if I don't want to. 

FriskyPanda

You have a PM.

Mental illness, especially borderline, is so hard to deal!  I just don't understand why a person who knows better would choose to lie, and how they can be so insecure.  I have such a hard time that making a conscious decision to lie is a result of a mental illness.  Sorry, rant.

Its so good to hear that your H is seeing he situation clearer. 

CurlyQ284

I remember before you saying the Borderline is untreatable but in my grad school program they keep talking about new treatments that seem to be effective.  If you want more infomation I can do some digging but I guess she can only get treatment if she wants it, which it doesn't look like she does. I'm sorry you have all this to deal with.

+j+k+

I don't recall say it is untreatable - it's just difficult as you say when the one who needs treatment is not willing to go.   There are a couple of methods but as you say, she has to want to go.  When she's on her depression meds, she does pretty well. 

I have offered support and help with this if she wanted it.  I can't keep offering it anymore.  She's going to have to figure this out and deal with it on her own. I hope she does for her child's sake.