Baby shower control!!

Alexlouise

   My mother who i've had many problems getting along with wants to throw me a shower. She wants it to be traditional and I wanted co-ed. I want it to be more like a birthday party for the unborn baby. She is saying I cannot control the shower (which I dont want to). I just wanted a little say. So now I have to have two showers one traditional one for her and one with the rest of my family and friends. What she is not understanding is the only ones to show up to hers will be my immediate family. I didnt want to have two showers, but I feel like I have to just to involve everyone that I want. Advice?? 

OUKatie

The hostess gets to make the decisions about the shower. Yes, she should consult with you but it sounds like you have very different ideas in mind. Luckily her preference will work well for just a small group of ladies.

Who is throwing your 2nd shower? If there isn't someone who has already offered, could you just throw a "last bash before the baby" party at your house? Not a shower but just a fun get together on a weekend evening with your friends/family.

mrsdomesticity

I'm a control freak (and that's putting it nicely)....my mom and MIL are throwing the shower and are letting me run the show which I appreciate. I know it's supposed to be the hostesses choice, but I'm the type of person that if I hate what they've chosen I'll be in a salty mood and won't have as much fun.

 In my opinion, you're carrying the child, you should get to do what you want.  

mikeandcristina

I would say no to the traditional shower - the day is supposed to be for you, not her. I realize that she is the one hosting, so she can do what she wants, blah blah blah, but being in that frame of mind makes you forget the whole point of having a shower in the first place - to celebrate mom and baby.

I have ups and downs with my mom, and if she were to pull something like that, I would simply say no. Ungrateful? maybe... but it's alot less embarassing than having no one at a shower, or making people choose between two...

Don't lose sight of what you want. If she chooses to come to the co-ed, great... if she wants to throw a fit and miss it because she's not getting what she wants, (like my mom would), her loss! The day is supposed to be full of joy and fun, you're not supposed to be stressed and feel obligated to please your mother!

naybird

You can either just go with it, or cancel.   I can understand she wants to throw you a traditional babyshower, since she is hosting and paying.

Just have both showers. You can still invite everyone, and just let them decide which one they want to attend, if not both.

Good luck!

LaurenCase89

I would just let her do this one her way if you have the opportunity to have two showers. I am having a coed shower because DH wanted to have one with his friends invited too and I can't wait! I would not want to argue, but your mom should be caring what you think. It's for you, not her!

Aleja0918

Since she's hosting and paying for the shower, she makes the decisions. If she asks for your opinion, that's fine but she's not required to. If it's really that big of a deal to you, either cancel your mother's shower or have two.

CraignSha

mrsdomesticity:

I'm a control freak (and that's putting it nicely)....my mom and MIL are throwing the shower and are letting me run the show which I appreciate. I know it's supposed to be the hostesses choice, but I'm the type of person that if I hate what they've chosen I'll be in a salty mood and won't have as much fun.

 In my opinion, you're carrying the child, you should get to do what you want.  

This.