Bed sharing safety with newborns

HomelessParrot

So, after my daughter was born, it took me only a week or so to figure out that bed sharing and breastfeeding that way were the best approach for us. We've been doing it successfully and happily since then.

 The problem is, my best friend (who is also my SIL) just had a baby 1 week ago. She is also bedsharing and bf'ing that way at night. And I am totally worried about it! I feel  like such a hypocrite, but I can't help worrying about it.  She is very safe, doesn't smoke, drink, or do drugs, etc. and yet I still can't stop worrying. I think it's because that period of time In my experience is hazy from being tired all the time. 

Please share your positive bedsharing stories so I can read them and relax! I don't know why it's causing me so much stress, even though I completely support and understand her decision. 

Ananke

My little guy is 18 months and we bedshare for about half the night.  I've never had a single issue.  No falling out of bed (although he did fall out of his toddler bed while alone the other night), getting stuck, or anything.  I didn't' start sleeping with him for a month or two, though I wish I had much sooner.   Most of my mom friends bedshare too and none of them have had any issues either.

If you are really concerned, you could assuage your fears by talking to your friend in a casual way about it.  You could mention how much you miss your covers, or your pillow top, or having a few drinks before bed.  At least that way you can be sure she knows some of the big safety issues.

jenni888

I figured out the same as you when DS was only 2 or 3 weeks old. I kept accidentally falling asleep with him in the bed while side-lying nursing, which was (and still is) his favorite nursing position. This was all before I even knew about safe bedsharing and what I should and shouldn't do. I instinctively knew to keep covers and pillows away from/off of him, and I curled around him exactly in the way bedsharing safety recommendations show you should lay.

A mother's instinct is very strong. I think your friend and her baby will be just fine.

StefandTodd

I just looked back on some texts I sent to my aunt the first week my LO was born and I told her how much happier and more sane I felt now that I had stopped fighting my instincts and was bedsharing with my LO.  He is happy and healthy and has never spent a night outside of our bed.  If your SIL knows how to safely bedshare, and she is BFing, I'm sure they are both happy and safe.  Her maternal instincts and love for her baby are just as strong as yours are/were for yours.  Trust in that.

HomelessParrot

Y'all are right. I just need to trust her mother's instinct. She is very, very well read on the subject. She's read all of Dr McKenna's sleep research, all the recommendations. Heck. She probably knows more than I do. I think it's just seeing teeny son (he's actually 8# but seems to small) just freaked me out!