Please HELP! Sleeping advice needed...

Ecy

I am new to this board but feel like I fall under the category of AP often, so I figured this would be a good place to start.

My DD used to sleep great, most of the time in her crib and now...not so much. I can't pinpoint exactly what or when it happened but her sleep seems so "off" now. We bedshare, and my DH and I are happy with this. There was a time when I tried to get her to stay in her crib because so many people kept telling me that I was crazy for having her in the bed with us. I tried CIO and nothing felt worse. My DD was stubborn and I'm pretty sure would have cried all night and it all just felt so unnatural to me, so I stopped that.

Now, here is what our night looks like. Bedtime is around 7:30ish. She has a bath, eats and we read a couple of books, then I stand while rocking her and singing/humming and usually within short minutes, she is fast asleep and I place her in our bed.  From then, she wakes up a couple of times crying but is easily soothed and goes right back to sleep. Then I go to bed around 10:30-11. After that she usually stays asleep until around 3:30ish. She wakes up in a good mood but won't go back to sleep unless I get up and give her a bottle. Then she will usually go right back to sleep and not wake until 7ish.

Is this a normal night? I feel like most others with a baby this age aren't getting up at night. I know I am creating a habit by giving her that night time bottle but if she finishes it, I feel like she must have been hungry and I don't want to deny her.  I feel like maybe my DD would be happier in her crib if she could get past the initial "hating it" feeling. She would have more room as she is a wild sleeper and I'm sure it would be quieter.

What do y'all suggest? Try to put her in her crib? Cut out the nighttime feeding & if so, how? Keep things as are?

kristenrudderham

Hi there, I don't usually post and I don't know how much I can offer but I figured I could at least tell you I think her schedule is normal. It is pretty similar to our experience. Our DD loves to sleep and slept a lot early on. I qualify this by saying she is a LIGHT sleeper, she doesn't fight it and likes to sleep but is easily woken and we've discovered she does better in a bed (rather than crib), in the absolute dark and quiet. She was sleeping through the night for 11 hours straight, no waking (EBF) from about 11 weeks....but she had a case of what I think must be the textbook "4 Month Wakefulness".

At 18 weeks she started waking herself up at that three hour sleep cycle transition point. She'd go down at at 8 and was up at 11, you could set your watch by it. She still struggles to loop together the three hour cycles, although she is maturing every day. I believe it is a physical thing.  So, sometimes, we could could shush/pat her back to sleep. Sometimes if I was going to bed/in bed, I would just take her out of her crib and put her in bed with me, which almost always resulted in me nursing her. I love bed-sharing and found it easier on me (she didn't really care - unlike your DD), but I stayed awake waiting for her to wake up if I didn't put her in bed with me after that first waking. Once in awhile she would skip it and sleep through.

The bedsharing definitely meant I nursed more. Almost always at the first waking and again usually at about 5:30-6:30. That last half-waking is the final sleep cycle and it is her lightest. We did this happily until she was about 13 months. At that time, she started rooting around more for nursing and flailing (she's larger than average) and she's a tosser and turner. I had gone back to work and I found it disruptive and it was making me tired. I decided to pass the reigns to DH.

We incorporated a Dr. Sears type fathering down model. I find I sometimes sort of overstimulate her or something. I think it is a mother thing. She is not prone to being needy or developing "bad habits" but my sleep was suffering and I felt like she was geuinely not sleeping as well in bed with me. (She always started the night alone first in a bassinet in our room, then a crib in her room - but even now we rock her to sleep).  So, her father would go in and put her back down but discovered along the way he really loves sleeping with her, so if she seems to be having harder time, (teeth, bit under the weather, etc.) he will lie down with her in her bed. He often falls asleep and never comes back. I loved sleeping with her and it warms my heart to now know that she has this special little bond with him. He also loves it and it has a proved successful technique. She settles no problem for him and now at almost 16 mos, she often sleeps from 8 until 6 (if she hears us get up) or a couple of hours longer. Other nights, she still struggles with the transition between the three hour cycles (again, you can set your watch by it) and her father just works her through it.

She might be associating you with that night feeding, so if she is really old enough to drop it, your husband might be able to swtich hit and break the habit. You can also try to put her down initially in her crib (where does she nap?) and then put her in your bed, then slowly transition her away from that bedharing.

Don't listen to anyone else. Everyone thinks we are crazy but we are the only new parents I know who can honestly say we were never sleep deprived and had a peaceful and enjoyable newborn period. We have followed her cues and tried new things and it has worked for us, good luck!!

3003girl

It actually sounds great to me! (coming from a momma of a crappy sleeper) 

Honestly, I think every baby is different and if you and your baby are happy and healthy, I wouldn't change a thing.