A NB supporter friend has been converted :(

Sawyerplus1

A close friend of mine had her DD last spring, and while she was pregnant, she and her DH were very excited for a natural birth and did lots of research and hired a doula. It was so nice to finally have someone that DH and I could talk to about these things!  Well, her labor didn't go as planned and for some reason she wasn't progressing (30+ hours of labor with little progress), so they consulted with their doula and decided to get the epi to see if she'd relax enough. Sure enough, she got the epi and progressed very quickly after and had an otherwise fine delivery. 

Recently she told me they're expecting #2 (yay!). I had previously told her about the awesome new birth center thats opened and the great MW practice I'm with. So when I asked if she'd be interested in registering with the MWs (based on her interest in NB last time)  she just laughed and said, "I can't wait for that epidural again!".

Sigh..... I know it has nothing to do with me and she should do what she feels is best for her and LO, but I cant deny that I felt some sadness (and surprise) that she doesn't have any interest in NB anymore. I guess I'll continue to be the odd man out among all my pregnant and mama friends....

Sawyerplus1

raecammenga:

It is sad that you won't be able to share natural birth experiences, but at the same time, 30 hours with no progression is probably daunting for her to face again. She probably would be too anxious to relax during labor because she might fear the same long process, and if she can't relax and focus during labor, it could stall her labor again this time.  Epidurals scare me, but if it worked for her and she wants it, then (like you said) it's her choice.

Yeah, totally. I understood why she got it last time, of course. But she was so excited about it for this time! I was surprised, but that's ok

MrsMandaK

That stinks that you lost the one person you felt you could relate to in all of this, but I have to say, I can't blame her for feeling that way. I know that no two labors are alike, but after a horrible first experience with NB with the epi (seeming) to be the miraculous end to all of it, I'd probably say the same thing.

At least you still have this board!

LaurelBee

I understand your disappointment. My good friend and neighbor had a med-free birth too, and I am so thankful to have someone to talk to!  I feel like we're a lot closer bc we share things- I've even seen her birth video   Naked bewbs and all.  Sorry you lost that in your friend, but I'm glad to hear you are still being supportive to her. 

lili1228

I think people get too anxious and don't expect that kind of pain. I kept telling myself oh it will get worse... so that the current contractions would feel better lol. Then I told myself that the contractions are for a short amount of time... temporary. I stalled with the dilation a little while pushing but I think with the second baby I will try to be more relaxed and also now I know how to kind of push. Most of my friends that natural birthed their first, natural birthed their second and speak highly of it. And it's the same for  people who had medicated births.

FyreFlyeRush

raecammenga:

It is sad that you won't be able to share natural birth experiences, but at the same time, 30 hours with no progression is probably daunting for her to face again. She probably would be too anxious to relax during labor because she might fear the same long process, and if she can't relax and focus during labor, it could stall her labor again this time.  Epidurals scare me, but if it worked for her and she wants it, then (like you said) it's her choice.

 My first labor was 30+ hours long, I had no progression for most of that. Turned out I was dehydrated, and they rehydrated me with gatorade and water. My daughter was born 6 hours later. I can honestly say that at the 24 hour mark, I wanted the epidural. I just couldn't keep doing this. I was exhausted. I was only 3cm Dialated, so they said no, rehydrated me and sent me on my merry way.

I was glad they did. Natural birth was a wonderful experience for me, and I'll be monitoring my hydration this time to make SURE it doesn't happen again!

elviebird

This reminds me of my bff.  She was dead set on a NB when she was pg with her first.  Unfortunately, it didn't go as planned and she got the epidural (at 9cm!).  Now we are pg together and while she encourages me to try for a NB, she is set on getting the epi again.  It's disappointing for sure, and I don't feel like I can talk to her about NB anymore because I don't want to come across like I'm judging her birth experience.  Oh well... live and let live, I guess!

RawAlmond

Thats a shame. Hopefully the Epi will go as smoothly this time as it did the first, as i know many women who have had adverse affects. A doula, books, videos and friends can only do so much... sounds as though she was unable to get herself to properly relax.