I need someone to shake the sh!!t out of me - advice needed

yourmom5309

DH and I are proud parents of two girls (2 year old and 15 month old). We were extremely surprised to find out that we are adding another blessing to our house of crazy. DS is due to arrive around May 24th. Despite having had seven months to come to grips with things, I am still drowning in my stress and anxiety of having 3 under 3. I know we will make. I know we will survive. But I am scared shiitless. I do not know what to do that will help me calm down and emotionally and mentally prepare for my upcoming delivery. As my due date gets closer, I become more anxious and scared. I take a small anti-anxiety med prescribed by my doctor and see a counselor, but nothing seems to be helping. Does anyone have advice or book suggestions for coming to grips with an expanding family?

kattyleigh

I don't have advice, as we are still struggling with the decision to have three or not, but I just wanted to say that you have a beautiful family.  I'm sure you are a great mom, and you will rise to the challenge of three.  Hang in there.

smerka

I was in your situation, but going from one to two.  The thing I kept coming back to was that it wasn't going to be this way forever and I never had to do it again once it was over.  They change so quickly that any stage you hate won't be for very long.  Hope that helps even if only a little bit.  GL! 

BeebopandBuddy

I don't have any great advice either but, whenever I am faced with a difficult situation, I always remember that if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.  As you said, you will survive.  It may be far from perfect, but it will be the way it is supposed to be and you will all learn from it.  There are many people in the world that would love to be in your shoes, to have children of their own.  I know a few of them.  So consider yourself blessed beyond your own comprehension!  Good luck!

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hecallsmecat

I have a friend who was in a similar situation and she told me that she actually found it easier than she thought she would. She said that going from 2 to 3 kids was easier than going from 1 to 2. I guess the other 2 have each other to keep them occupied while you tend to the baby, rather than having 1 needing attention and the baby needing you too. She said it is also great to have kids so close in age because they are interested in doing similar things, rather than having a baby and a 5 year old who are on two totally different levels.

I'm sure you will do great. Focus on the excitement of the new arrival, not the stresses. It's working for me so far.

CaitlinJ22

I would try not to focus on the idea of 3 u 3, it sounds scarier than just 3 kids to me. We will have 3 under 3.5 and I am a tad nervous but not as scared as I was to have 2 under 18 months. 

This pregnancy has made me anxious, moreso that I am nervous something will happen to the baby or my family. I just try to breathe and focus on my baby when i have a quiet minute. I trust in God, though I am not extremely religious, I do believe we are meant to have them this close. I can also tell you something my friends mom always says to her (she has anxiety issues too). She says, "you are not in the right mindset to think about this right now, surrender it and address it when you are." It helps me tremendously when I am freaking out and realize my hormones are getting the best of me.

You will do great! think of the moment that baby is put on your chest, best moment in the world  

yourmom5309

kattyleigh:

I don't have advice, as we are still struggling with the decision to have three or not, but I just wanted to say that you have a beautiful family.  I'm sure you are a great mom, and you will rise to the challenge of three.  Hang in there.

Thank you so much.  That just brought a much needed smile to my face.

yourmom5309

delaine0821:

I don't have any great advice either but, whenever I am faced with a difficult situation, I always remember that if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it.  As you said, you will survive.  It may be far from perfect, but it will be the way it is supposed to be and you will all learn from it.  There are many people in the world that would love to be in your shoes, to have children of their own.  I know a few of them.  So consider yourself blessed beyond your own comprehension!  Good luck!

Well said.  I agree with your response on all levels.  Perhaps the best way to handle this is to focus on the positive rather than dwell on the negative.

yourmom5309

Thank y'all so much for all the supportive comments. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate them. Things are going to be hard. We are going to struggle, but we will persevere. One post really struck home - many people struggle to have children and would love to be in my shoes. I am kind of ashamed that I let my stress overshadow how blessed DH and I are. While I live in a house of crazy, I could not imagine it any other way.

Thank y'all.

 

kliening0220

I can only tell you what my mom tell me everytime I call her freaking out and about to pull my hair out.

"Try to remember back to the stress you felt when having your first child. Going from 0 to 1 is always the hardest. Now think of how it all just melted away the second you held your first in your arms. It will be the same with this baby."

That always calms me down a little because I was a CRAZY person with my first baby, and I know it will all melt away (even if only for a few hours) the first time I get to hold my second.

She also advises that during the first two months to pick a day of the week or two (mine is Wednesday) and send the kids out of the house (with a sitter or daycare if you have one) for the whole day and just spend it with your new baby. Don't do anything until noon except spend time with the baby. Give yourself some time to wind down. It will give you that much needed alone time like you had with your first and a little bit of free time without two other kids to think about.

My mom had 4 kids. 3 under 3 and then me (I was the 'Dad's Birthday' baby 6 years apart from everyone else.)

I hope that helps. Good luck. Your a wonderful mother to two wonderful girls and you will make a wonderful mother to three wonderful children! 

Vraechel

I'm having a tough time adjusting to having 3 under 2. I have a 19 mo old and 4 mo old twins. Some days are great and I feel like everything is going smooth then others are crummy. I try to not take it personally when they poop into their hair and armpits while my oldest dumps her milk on the couch. The only advice I can give is just to remember to breath, and to take it easy on yourself. I can't get EVERYTHING I want done in a day done. It wont happen, and it's ok. Sometimes I'm hard on myself, but mostly if everyone is fed and clean I'm pretty happy. They wont have matching outfits and I may or may not have brushed my hair