- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
Teterboro 5K 7/16/11 23:22
Tenafly 5K 6/5/11 26:48 1st in age group and stroller division
Teterboro 5K 7/17/10 24:42
Lincoln Tunnel 5K 4/25/10 28:18 4 1/2 weeks pp
Teterboro Airport 5K 7/18/09 22:35 3rd place age group 4 1/2 weeks pregnant
Long Branch 1/2 5/3/09 1:51:07
Lincoln Tunnel 5K 4/26/09 22:22
NJEA 5K 11/7/08 22:30 2nd place age group
Westchester 1/2 10/12/08 1:50:16
Teterboro Airport 5K 7/19/08 23:43
Long Branch 1/2 5/4/08 1:54:18
Giant Stadium 5K 4/26/08 error in timing
Hackensack 5K 10/14/07 23:55 1st place in age group
aggravated w/ principal vent
I've been planning to stay out until November, DS will be 6 months and I won't have to deal with all the extra work at the start of the school year. The principal just asked me when I was planning on coming back, I told her I'm not sure but probably November. She told me she really wants to start the school year with a real teacher (apparently she doesn't believe in permanent subs and we just cover each others classes). She'd like to know by June and if I'm not coming back in September she's going to request a real teacher (her words). I asked her if that means I'll be transfered to another school and she said she wasn't sure she just wants to start the school year with a real teacher.
Now I"m a little unsure about what to do. I work in a large district with many schools and I have tenure, so I'll have a job when I come back, I just don't know where. I certified K-12, but I really don't want to be in a high school. I also don't love the district and I'd like to leave, I wasn't going to this year because I knew that would mean I'd have to start in September, and I'd also probably be taking a pay cut. I'd like to stay in this school, I've worked in another school in this district so I know things can be alot worse, but I also want to stay out until November. I'm entitled to the time and I don't think it's fair the position she's putting me in.
Teterboro 5K 7/16/11 23:22
Tenafly 5K 6/5/11 26:48 1st in age group and stroller division
Teterboro 5K 7/17/10 24:42
Lincoln Tunnel 5K 4/25/10 28:18 4 1/2 weeks pp
Teterboro Airport 5K 7/18/09 22:35 3rd place age group 4 1/2 weeks pregnant
Long Branch 1/2 5/3/09 1:51:07
Lincoln Tunnel 5K 4/26/09 22:22
NJEA 5K 11/7/08 22:30 2nd place age group
Westchester 1/2 10/12/08 1:50:16
Teterboro Airport 5K 7/19/08 23:43
Long Branch 1/2 5/4/08 1:54:18
Giant Stadium 5K 4/26/08 error in timing
Hackensack 5K 10/14/07 23:55 1st place in age groupThis discussion has been closed.
Re: aggravated w/ principal vent
I don't work in the school system, so I don't know how it works...but If you are entittled to 6 months off and it is in your contract I would absolutely take it...and maybe speak with someone in your union (teachers here are in a union, so I am assuming you are too...but obviously I could be wrong there - so in that case I would seek out someone in admin/hr) about the situation...GL!
Are you entitled to the time because of FMLA? Just because you have tenure doesn't mean you get to keep that exact position in that exact school. I can't blame your principal for wanting to start the school year with a teacher rather than a sub, makes absolute perfect sense in my mind. I'm due in July and plan to take 6 weeks off once school starts, however, I was asked to work both teacher week as well as the first week to week and a half of school, which I am more than happy to do. Its important for the actual teacher to be there to get to know the kids and to set expectations that the sub can then take over.
I think you're being a little unrealistic; and since you don't like the district anyways, why don't you just resign and then try to find a position in another district that may open up over the fall and leave your current job open for someone who actually wants it.
I understand the ideal situation is for the teacher to start the school year, but I also feel that I do my job well and should be given the opportunity to come back a few months in. Plus, if a permanent sub was hired rather than assigning teachers an extra class to cover, I think it could be a smooth transition
As a school headmaster myself, I can see a few sides to this. Given that you're talking about taking 6 months - which is a lot more than most teachers tend to take (my teachers tend to average 10-16 weeks), it isn't as if you're giving birth in August and being asked to come back for September. Since it sounds like you'll have about 3 months off before the school year even starts (June, July, August?) plus all that time during the year (September, October, November?), it does feel a bit long.
I can imagine that your principal is thinking that, if you take those first 3 months, the chances of you deciding at stay home permanently come November are quite high. At that stage, it's not like your principal is going to come across many outstanding candidates to take over your classroom - which means those children get whichever permanent subs the principal can find.
I understand that you want the time off with your baby; it's a battle I fight with myself every single day because I know I'll have to go back to school before she's even 2 months...but that's my profession. I would encourage you to sit down with your principal and talk through her expectations, your wishes, and find a common ground.
I'm really confused on why/how you are entitled to 6 months off. However, that's irrelevant. It's not like they are saying you won't have a job to come back to. It just may be a different job. Heck, my friend has had to switch grades mid school-year do to budget reasons and classroom combining. She didn't like it, but at least she got to keep her job.
To me it sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. 6 months is an awfully long maternity leave compared to most people in the states. I really think you should be thankful for it and take whatever postition they bring you back in. Or go back in September, which, imo, is still a good amount of leave. However, this is coming from someone who only had one month off. So maybe I'm just jealous.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Sorry, but it sounds to me like you aren't really entitled to it and that it would just be nice to be able to do that. I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, but...technically, having a baby doesn't qualify you as being sick. So they should not have to allow you to use your sick time to get more time off.
Having a baby in March sounded ideal for you. However, missing at the end verses the beginning are too very different things, imo. The beginning is so important for establishing the class.
Sorry, but judging by the information presented, I'm with the principal. I understand you are disappointed and probably just needed to vent. I guess I think there is just going to have to be some give and take on your part due to the timing of this LO.
FMLA isn't actually LEAVE in the sense of you can use it in addition to other leave you have. It's actually only job protection. STD has requirements around using sick time first, but FMLA doesn't. Because it's not "leave" in the true sense of the word. And that's why I'm wondering if you mean STD.
I don't know about the legal specifics in your state, but my basic knowledge of FMLA - even if you take sick leave and THEN STD, your job is still only protected for 12 weeks. You take 6 months? They could fire you. Not that they would, but... they could.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Unfortunately I think you are going to have to make a choice. I was in a similar position (but mine was born in July) and chose to come back at the start of the school year because I love my job/school and would hate to be transferred. But if I wasn't that happy with the job/school my decision would have been different. You just have to weigh your options and think about what is more important to you:extra maternity leave or your current position. Only you can make the choice. Personally, I think having the baby in March gives you plenty of leave time to be able to come back in September..most teachers I know took time at the end or the beginning of the year but not both.
ETA: deleted
I could be wrong but just because a teacher isn't going to class, they're still receiving a paycheck, right? A friend of mine who is a teacher in MA told me that giving birth right before the summer meant that the summer DID count toward her leave. Also, FMLA and sick leave run concurrently. You can't say you're taking 12 weeks off, covered by FMLA and THEN take all your accumulated sick days.
I just saw her response..I had skipped over it by accident and edited. You are right. It's usually either sick or FMLA not both.
If you are entitled to the time, take the time.
At the school I worked at / DH still works at, all female teachers were entitled to 2 semesters of leave for maternity (paid until sick days ran out, unpaid after that). That has been true for all of the schools I've worked for (all private). I've never known a teacher who took less than one semester + summer break; many took a year off.
I worked in private schools. I don't know if it is different for public school teachers. But if you are entitled to it according to the rules of your school, then take it, it's yours. And there are plenty of young "real" teachers (ie certified) who would be more than happy to get the experience of covering your leave for a few months.
But as other posters have said, don't confuse FMLA, sick days, and disability, because they do not run back to back. If all you are entitled to is FMLA, then you are entitled to only twelve weeks.
As a teacher in her 10th year, I have worked in 3 districts.
Starting your EDD, you cannot work. Since you are due in the summer, this does not apply to the OP. You cannot take your 6 weeks off for a vaginal birth, or 8 weeks off for CC with pay at the beginning of the school year. Your maternity leave begins in the summer. IF you are choosing to take an extended leave, you may need to ask the principal, and the school board, to ok it. EVERY district I have worked in allows teachers to put in for extend leave. They call that "child-rearing leave." I have never heard them deny it for anyone. One woman I work with took 2 years off in a row. She was still guaranteed a position in the district, but not necessarily the same position. Now I know for a fact that another teacher took extended leave of half the school year for each of her children. A long term sub was hired (all subs in our district have to have a teaching credential). The applicants were interviewed and the best candidate hired on a temporary half-year contract.
I think you need to know the rules of your contract in your district.
This.
I took 5 months off to be with my son. My co-worker who delivered at the same time too 6 wks. It varies based on the days you have available to you sick etc. I would speak to someone in hr to clear up any confusion you may have. If you have the leave available to you and you can take the days then I say go for it. As for the principal , while she may want a certified teacher to start the school yr it doesn't mean that that has to be the way it is. No your contract and then speak to her with knowledge.
What you can take and how things work vary district by district. In my district you get 6 weeks of partial pay FML, which you can not take until all of your sick days have been used up. This means I'll use the sick days I have now when I go out in May, I'll go unpaid for about 2 weeks and all of the summer, in September I'll use my 3 weeks of sick days, then 6 weeks of paid FML, which will bring me to early November. They will hold a position for me and I can go unpaid for 1-2 years.
Again, I understand the principals position, I'm just disappointed I will not be guaranteed a position at my school because given the district I work in, I understand how much worse things can be.
I think that you should talk with your union and your HR department to figure out how to work this all out.
It sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. If you want to take 6 months, and can, great. Even with FMLA, it doesn't guarantee your actual job back. It is a comparable position. So, if they have a similar position for you in a different building after you come back, then that'll be what you get.
Even with tenure, you can't bump teachers mid-year unless it specifically states so in the contract. There is usually a cut-off date.
However, you should talk to your union representative. NJ has a pretty strong union, so I wouldn't be surprised if your contract has some crazy loopholes in it.
I will say, this statement makes you sound terribly entitled and is one of the reasons teachers get a bad wrap, "I won't have to deal with all the extra work at the start of the school year".
If you'd said you were taking off 6 months to spend time with your son and left it at that, I wouldn't have batted an eye. But, this makes you sound like you don't want to do the work and you want all the benefits...
(I am an administrator...)
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
All of this, AND
My sister works in DC, (has been for 8 years now), her DD was due in September and they gave her position to another teacher for the year. She had her DD in the end of September and had to go back to work after Veterans day because she didn't feel right taking any unpaid time off. She is a resource room teacher for the rest of the year, I think they mentioned she might do Kindergarten next year (which she is excited about). She has scored "extremely effective" every year on her evaluations, she's a great teacher, but she realized that it would be hard to come into a classroom months after the school year started and routines have been set in.
My best friend works in NYC and her DD was due in June, her leave started at the end of school (the summer isn't "extra time off"), so by August she was out of PTO and went back for the start of the school year.
Looking at it from a management point of view I agree that a "real" teacher should teach the classroom, it is very hard for a sub to get the school year started properly. Your leave isn't about YOU, it's about the children in the class, and not having a full time teacher start off the school year is very disrupting for the classroom when the original teacher comes back. If you do return in November, you will have missed the first set of parent teacher conferences (and if you come in right before them, you really don't have much to report to the parents since you don't know the kids), there are so many other factors that don't revolve around what works for YOU. Sorry if I sound harsh, but even teaching is a "business" and management will do what's best for the business. I hope you come to a decision that works for you.
Actually I think my leave is about my child, and I think that 6 months is a good time to be home with your child if that's what you're able to do. He'll be stronger, on a bit of a schedule, and be able to get more out of being with other kids. I don't know what mother wouldn't put their child first.
It still may not sound right, but I mean it would be very difficult to manage going back to work full time with 2 young children and still getting to all the extras that are required in the beginning. The first month or so I easily put in an extra 2 hours a day, I just don't think I could handle that, or would want to do that, with such a young baby. Again, that may sound as though it comes off like I'm just concerned about myself, but I need to be there for my children.
Ok, obviously you're very set on what you want to do and that's fine. All we're saying is that, legally, you might be up shiz creek. All you can is find out what you're legally entitled to and if that doesn't fit with your wishes you have to decide if you'll take what they give you or quit. You can't take it out against the principal PERSONALLY if s/he is "only" giving you what you're entitled to.
In your eyes, yes your leave is about you, but as I stated IN A MANAGEMENT POINT OF VIEW (guess I didn't make that clear by starting my paragraph off that way), the business will do what's best for them, and that means not having a sub start the school year.
I'd like to add at this point that you are so upset that your principal wants a "real teacher" to start off the school year. What I interpret that as he/she doesn't want a sub to start the school year, she isn't saying that you aren't a real teacher.
I'm not arguing about how much time you want to take off, take a whole year off if you want to, just don't complain that you might not have your old position when you get back.
This may be...but I would hope that my child never has to go through this with one of her teachers, especially at a young age. Her regular teacher gone the first several months of the school year and to come back expecting a smooth transition from a sub? That'd be a miracle. Maybe you're just in the wrong profession overall.
Um, I think her leave most definitely is about her, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Women should NEVER have to apologize for taken their entitled leave. If the rules of your job let you take 6 months or a year and return to a similar job, then take the time and feel good about it. Many professional fields with high levels of responsibility have generous maternity leave policies to attract high performing women, and many women take those leaves and don't feel guilty. Teachers are well educated and high performing professionals; careers with that status usually come with the privilege of good benefits, including maternity. Why should teachers, or any woman, feel guilty about taking benefits they are entitled to?
That is what I worked hard all through college and graduate school for - so I could have a professional job with excellent health care, retirement, vacation, and maternity leave, and I'm taking it. I have the rest of my life to focus on my career and my work; right now is the time to focus on my child.
A good administrator should be supportive. A field that has such a high proportion of women in it should expect dealing with protracted maternity leaves as a normal part of its operation. The private schools I've taught at had women taking maternity leave for a semester or two at a time and it never struck anyone as an issue; it was expected and it was built into the normal operations of the school. And now days, there are plenty of young, newly certified graduates with student teaching experience and fresh skills and energy available to sub, who are very much "real teachers".
If the OP is entitled to the time, she should take it and feel good about it. In my own experience, I've never known a teacher who apologized for taking her full maternity benefit, including unpaid time.
I agree with all of this. I took 16 weeks of maternity leave after having my preemie, and I didn't feel bad about it. I'm in a relatively high-level professional position, and I felt no guilt about taking the leave.
That being said, part of the issue here, OP, is that you want the sun, moon, and stars. If you want to take leave, fine, but you have to recogize that the school needs to deal with that. You do run the risk of being placed into a new job (perhaps high school, which you said you didn't want). That's the school's prerogative. Yes, you're entitled to your leave, and you shouldn't feel guilty for taking it, but you also need to recognize that things may be different when you come back.
You just need to decide which is more important to you: Keeping your current position or staying home for 6 months. The principal actually sounds like he / she is being very fair by giving you a heads up now. It should give you time to make your decision.
Good luck!
Wow, you really glossed over everything else I said. The bottom line is that you want to have everything YOU want and have no consequences for making those decisions. That isn't real life.
No one on here is faulting you for wanting to stay home with your baby. What I do have a problem with is that you aren't putting yourself in the shoes of 1) your students, 2) your parents, or 3) your principal. All of these people/groups will be effected by your decision. It is not all about you. Your principal has a responsibility to provide the most stable and conducive learning environment for all students in her building. Your decision is putting that into jeopardy. It is not hard to understand. Your principal wants to know what you are going to do so that she can make arrangements to ensure the students and parents needs are met.
If your contract doesn't have loopholes for you, then you will have to make some decisions. To me it is also clear that you aren't invested in your school and district. You simply want to stay in your school because you know "things could be worse". I think it is time to look for another job in another district or find something that you can be more invested in when you return if being a teacher isn't it.
Just an FYI, so you don't think I have no idea what I'm talking about, I took 7 months off with my son. I made the very difficult decision to quit my job and not return because I knew I couldn't do what they wanted me to do to the caliber I would have been satisfied with. I've since found an awesome job and am much happier.
Take your leave, just realize that you cannot always get what you want.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I appreciate people who understand I just feel I'm in a difficult situation, I have a hard choice to make, and I'm not blaming the principal for her decision, just disappointed. I'm also really disappointed at how many working moms are attacking me and debating how much time I can actually take.
Not that I think it makes a difference, but I teach middle school, so I will not have a child in this situation in 5 years and I will be working with 4 other content area teachers, the same ones I've been working with for the past 2 years, who got to know these students and their parents in September that can support me (the kids change teachers and rooms but stay with the same group) and assist in the transition.
Very few people are questioning the amount of time you want to take off. I see a lot of support for you actually. The problem I see, and continue to see if this post, is that people aren't agreeing with you and that you can't handle that.
Also, middle school and elementary students aren't different in regards to requiring a highly qualified teacher the entire school year. I'm a former middle school teacher, so I know the population well. They require just as much stability as younger students (or high school students).
No one is saying you don't have a hard decision. What I think a lot of us are saying is that your expectations are unrealistic. If you want to stay home, great. You'll have a job when you come back. If just might not be the one you left. Such is life...
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
God, middle school kids need more support and stability than almost anyone else.
no one is questioning your right to take time off, but your selfishness is about getting what amounts to a great leave if that's what you decide. Either take it and take the consequences that your returning in the middle of the year is not what's best for kids and your principal says no, or don't take it, but you can't have it both ways.
Ok, I am not a teacher but when I had my twins I took my eight weeks of STD (c-section), then my additional 4 weeks of FML. For a few reasons I decided to stay out three more months. My boss ok'd it (unpaid leave of absence) but she did say she hoped she would have something for me when I came back. I had no job protection AT ALL at that point but I made the decision for my family that three more months was needed.
In the end, my boss did not fill my position and all was right with the world when I did return. However, I was willing to accept the potential consequence of not having a job when I was ready to return.
I think a lot of mothers get caught up in what is best for them and their families and expect their company to accomodate that. As an HR Manager, I can tell you that the business also needs to do what's best for the business. Sometimes those two goals do not mesh. You have to understand that.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
Your post title is that you're aggravated with your principal. THAT is what people are harping on. You want X. You're entitled to Y but don't accept that. The bottom line is that you can take your entitled time and your contract then says you can come back to A job. If you want the SAME job, YOU are the one changing the terms, which means coming back earlier in order to keep that job. Do you understand what everyone is getting at? If you want to take 4 years we're all for that! We also know that a job doesn't have to be waiting for you. That's all.
My Ovulation Chart