MIL thinks I need a Nanny

CaitlinJ22

So we are with DH for 2 wks while he's taking classes for work. They happen to be near where my ILs live so we saw them last night. My MIL had one child, DH. She has always made comments about how she doesnt know how I do it etc etc. More like shes terrified, not impressed. 

Anyway last night DD (who is going through a fear stage) was freaking out about bugs while we were eating outside. DS was wanting to sit on my lap, and so I had two kids who I was calmly trying to talk to. So it wasnt like I was losing it.

She then says, "I think you need a nanny when baby comes!" I laughed and said, "what you think I cant handle this?" she didnt say anything, and then she was like "well, how will you do it?"

i said "My sister has 3 kids and never had even a sitter. My mom had 3 kids and worked FT with no FT nanny just a sitter here and there. Not many people with 3 kids have nannies if they SAH, heck not many moms with more than 3 kids have FT nannies if they stay home". DH then said "well, F will be going to school a few days a week for a few hours in the fall so that will help". She stopped, and then said "well you are doing a great job". Which she has NEVER said to me. But you could tell she still was freaked for us. 

I guess its a matter of perspective since she had 1 child (and had a lot of family help which we dont) and she said can't imagine having more. I thought it was funny. 

lkf041

I get that from people sometimes, but I just tell them that if I couldn't handle the kids I wouldn't keep having them.  I work from home full time with the kids here, a nanny would be nice but it's not necessary

 

MammaBear81

I have an au pair, but I work FT. If I stayed at home, I wouldn't have an au pair, or a nanny.  I give a small side eye to SAHM's that have a FT nanny.. I know there are some exceptions (special needs children, triples etc.) but do you really need someone with you 40 hours per week to take care of an infant, and two toddlers?

I'm glad your MIL finally said "good job" to your DH, but it's sad that he basically had to say that you weren't going to have all three of them all the time and that made it "better" in her eyes.  Keep up the great work, you are a great mama weather your MIL says it or not!

CaitlinJ22

MammaBear81:

I have an au pair, but I work FT. If I stayed at home, I wouldn't have an au pair, or a nanny.  I give a small side eye to SAHM's that have a FT nanny.. I know there are some exceptions (special needs children, triples etc.) but do you really need someone with you 40 hours per week to take care of an infant, and two toddlers?

I'm glad your MIL finally said "good job" to your DH, but it's sad that he basically had to say that you weren't going to have all three of them all the time and that made it "better" in her eyes.  Keep up the great work, you are a great mama weather your MIL says it or not!

Thank you. I think she has no concept of more than 1 child so I can see how she would be a little spooked...but they are our kids. She sees them twice a year if that. I thought it was funny that basically saying I wont have my 3 year old (my easiest at this point) for 9 hours a week made her think we could handle it. We have thought of homeschooling in the future and I couldnt imagine her reaction if we did that

Whatever, she will never understand and I dont expect her to since she wont be taking care of our kids anytime soon. Luckily my mom raised 3 kids and understands the joys and struggles, but very much supports how many kids we want since she wanted 6 but just couldnt with her health issues. 

Thanks again, and I definitely think thats a compliment coming from you