WWYD DD touched at school

ppants

I'm trying not to freak. She told me in the car on the way home that a boy at school touched her "private area". I asked her to show me on my body what he did. She indicated that he took his hand from the front and swept it to the back. Above her clothes. She told a para and this child's teacher. She seems to think it wasn't a accident. What do I say to her? I told her that was good she told a teacher. I sent an email to the teacher she told. I thinking of forwarding it to the principal also. Anything else I should do or say? Or am I totally overreacting?

Jaylea

I think I'd call the school and find out what the story is and why I haven't already received a call about it.  Then get the full story and go from there.

Chapter79

WHY in the world were you not called? Ugh.
I would contact the person she said she told, yes. I would also contact the principal. That's not a little deal to me. I would freak if my daughter were touched there. Even if that boy has no clue it was "wrong" and that he shouldn't have done that, his parents and the school definitely (IMO) need to be informed that he did so, because his parents most definitely need a little chat with him. He needs to know it's not ok to do that.

RealFloF9

I would go with her to the school to talk to the teacher, as well as the principal.  Not acceptable.

rebs

I agree with calling the teacher and finding out the full story, then going from there.

As a teacher I am highly surprised you did not get a call from her teacher.  I would never let that information get home without preparing the parents for it first.

Littlejen22

RealFloF9:

I would go with her to the school to talk to the teacher, as well as the principal.  Not acceptable.

This. I would make sure the Principal knows and that there is something in writing about it.  

DevonPow

Agree with PP about contacting the school/principal right away to gett he full story (and I would definitely be upset that if your DD told the teacher you were not contacted). I would also reinforce to DD that she did the right thing in telling the teacher and in telling you, and maybe have a conversation about how she felt about it happening. Basically validating feelings and making sure she knows it is not somethingfor her to be ashamed of, and definitely something you tell.

luvmygirls22

If you are able to, I would go in tomorrow morning and talk to your daughter's teacher and the principal in person. You are not overreacting-this is not something to shrug off. I think you are right in pursuing this. Your daughter needs to know she can feel safe there and the boy that touched her needs to know that is NOT okay and not tolerated. I agree his parents need to be informed as well. 

ppants

DH is an attorney. He tried calling school and no one answered the phone. He called the sheriff's office because "we have to report it to someone". He came out & I wrote a statement. He preferred having DD talk to a female officer. They will be contacting us to do that. DD is doing good and provided a few more details. The officer got statements from both of the teachers she told. The principal was out of town in meetings. The officer made the principal aware. She then stopped by to talk to us. Everyone is taking it seriously, which I appreciate, so it doesn't happen again.

black.kat

You have to advocate for your child.  My husband is a detective and I am sure he would want this taken care of to the FULLEST extend, as would I.  I would rather take it to the level of it being reported than to have my child feel like I wasn't there for her.

That being said.  You have no idea the impact this has on the future of your child feeling safe with you, of the child who did it (stop this behavior and nip it in the bud and find out WHY he has done it) and the people responsible for this other child.

A kid just doesn't wake up one morning and decide to touch another child like that for the fun of it.  More than likely this child has seen or been involved with something in a sexual manner.

I hope everything turns out alright...  and good job to you as parents.

luvmygirls22

Was thinking of you and your poor daughter today-so relieved they are taking it seriously and cooperating. Way to go mommy!

Jessys_Girl

black.kat:

You have to advocate for your child.  My husband is a detective and I am sure he would want this taken care of to the FULLEST extend, as would I.  I would rather take it to the level of it being reported than to have my child feel like I wasn't there for her.

That being said.  You have no idea the impact this has on the future of your child feeling safe with you, of the child who did it (stop this behavior and nip it in the bud and find out WHY he has done it) and the people responsible for this other child.

A kid just doesn't wake up one morning and decide to touch another child like that for the fun of it.  More than likely this child has seen or been involved with something in a sexual manner.

I hope everything turns out alright...  and good job to you as parents.

This is not necessarily true.  Exploration of the body (and of friend's bodies) is actually developmentally where kids that age are at.  I'm not saying what the kid did was RIGHT, just that it doesn't mean he's being abused at home.  I think the police being involved and the teacher/principal should lead to the boy's parent's being involved at some point.  Obviously they need to discuss appropriate public behavior with him.

Good for your DD, OP, for telling you!