Was not expecting this...

cbmp06

I'd taken Cymbalta before my pregnancy and everything was under control.  When I got pregnant, I stopped taking it, and was off any other meds, and I did fantastically.  So much so that I didn't even want to go back on it, but reluctantly, I decided to because PPD runs in my family.  I thought there was no way I would feel that way because I wanted our baby SO BAD, and I've always wanted to be a mom.  Well I'm glad I did although I don't think my meds have kicked in just yet.  DD is a week old today and I cannot stop crying.  She is everything I have ever wanted and no one could take her away from me if they tried.  She's only a week old so of course she isn't sleeping at night and crying a lot but she really is great.  But I can't help but thinking "What did we do?"  DH and I were SO happy in our little life before, we had our routine and things were trucking along so well.  Now everything has changed, no one is sleeping, and the permancy of it all scares me.  I just keep wondering if we did the right thing.  DH has been nothing but helpful and positive and amazing, and DD is gorgeous and perfect and I feel like they don't deserve me, mopey, blubbery mess that I am.  I'm SO tired, my head hurts all the time, and I just get scared that after people stop coming to help, I won't be able to take care of her myself.  I have nothing but love for her, and I know mothers have been taking care of babies since the beginning of time but I just don't have faith in myself, mentally, emotionally, or physically.

EVA116

This is exactly how I was...I couldn't wait to be a mother. I ended up with pretty bad PPD and I mourned my old life so bad. I use to think of ways I could escape, where I could run to.....I started medication 3 weeks after DD was born and it took a little while for them to help.

I would say that it took a good 7 months for me to feel like myself again...but each week got better.

DD is a year now and I still have days where I want to just lay in bed but those are a lot farther and few between.

It will get better...I promise.

I still think I just don't like the "newborn" stage...it makes me nervous to have another one....wish I could just pop out a 7 month old.

NJMom050911

I'm sorry you feel this way. I think a part of this is totally nornal while you adjust to a life with a newborn. It took me about 3 weeks to come up with a rhytm that let me get some sleep. I stopped pumping at 5 weeks because I could no longer handle, the pumping every four hours, the feeding every 3 hours and the diaper changes (he never took to the breast). So I would absolutly talk to your doctor about how you feel and keep taking the meds but I think you will see that once you get settled it will become much easier. At about 3 months my DS started sleeping better and from that time on it has just gotten easier. Now at 10 months he sleeps from 8-6 and that is plenty of me time! IT will get easier. I promise. Hugs.

cbmp06

NJMom050911:

I'm sorry you feel this way. I think a part of this is totally nornal while you adjust to a life with a newborn. It took me about 3 weeks to come up with a rhytm that let me get some sleep. I stopped pumping at 5 weeks because I could no longer handle, the pumping every four hours, the feeding every 3 hours and the diaper changes (he never took to the breast). So I would absolutly talk to your doctor about how you feel and keep taking the meds but I think you will see that once you get settled it will become much easier. At about 3 months my DS started sleeping better and from that time on it has just gotten easier. Now at 10 months he sleeps from 8-6 and that is plenty of me time! IT will get easier. I promise. Hugs.

I just wanted to say thanks for your positive comment.  We are starting to find a rhythm already and while things aren't perfect I can see that with time it will get easier.  Thanks again