I'm going home today, but DD is not.

RaisetheBar223

I'm being discharged today. I don't think I can do it, I can't leave DD alone in the hospital. For XP moms, how did you do it? I know I'm going to visit her every day, but that's still not enough. I wish I didn't have to go through this.

Denesdia

Praying for you, mama!  DD arrived at 25w5d and we had 96 days in the NICU.  Of those, less than three were we together in the same place.  Know that LO is where she needs to be, and you need to get well, too.  Keep us posted, stay strong, and know that we have been where you are and made it out the other side.  Virtual hugs!!!

katie4253

You do it, because you have to.  Not because you want to.  No mom on here was excited to leave their LO in the hospital, 2 day stay or 150 day stay, it still sucks. 

You'll get into a routine. You'll make it work.  But, it will never be easy.

JuliaJAG

It's heartbreaking... it truly is. My son has been in for a little over three weeks now, and my DH and I still ache for him every minute that we're not with him. The first week was the hardest for us... it's been a wee bit easier now that I'm able to drive again and can spend every hour I can each day with him... but I won't lie, night time is HARD, and I find myself calling multiple times throughout the night to ask how he's doing and to ask his nurse to give him a kiss from me and let him know Mommy loves him. All those late-night calls I've made have been with me in tears. 

But, eventually your baby will be doing well enough that you can see light at the end of the tunnel. I wish there were anything that could make the beginning of the journey a little easier, but I know it's tough. Just spend as much time with your baby as you can and when you can't be there, always feel free to call as often as you need to for reassurance that your baby is okay. It's not the same, but the nurses' reassuring upbeat updates do bring a measure of comfort.

Hugs to you mama! 

SRK128

I didn't want to leave my girls but I knew they were in good care. having one at home and one is the NICU is very hard but you make it work. I will keep you and your LO in my T&P's!

jacque_z

katie4253:

You do it, because you have to.  Not because you want to.  No mom on here was excited to leave their LO in the hospital, 2 day stay or 150 day stay, it still sucks. 

You'll get into a routine. You'll make it work.  But, it will never be easy.

 This!  Basically it sucks but you don't have a choice.  From the minute they told me my daughter would be born at 26w5d, I just mentally prepared myself for a long rough road.  I had to focus on the fact that she was in the best possible place for her.  I'm sorry you're going through this.  

ChristieNRN

It is heart breaking. Leaving my son was the worst thing possible. But I know it is where he needs to be. He is a feeder and a grower. We are on day 16 now in the NICU and its hard but we make it work. We go to the hospital twice a day for about 2 hours each visit. I get in my nightly kisses and kangaroo time. 

You find a way to make it work, just stay positive and we are all here for each other.  

SnowPea25

Complete truth- it is the worst. I remember crying on each and every car ride away from the hospital. BUT, it will not be like this forever. Each day that passes makes your baby stronger, healthier, and one day closer to being able to take that car ride home with you at long last. It makes you appreciate everything so much, and now as I sit here with my almost 2 year old fast alseep down the hall those days seem like a fuzzy dream. You will get through it, it is hard, but you will.

Mrs. Alice

katie4253:

You do it, because you have to.  Not because you want to.  No mom on here was excited to leave their LO in the hospital, 2 day stay or 150 day stay, it still sucks. 

You'll get into a routine. You'll make it work.  But, it will never be easy.

Yes exactly.  I'm so sorry you are going through this, but be assured your LO is right where she needs to be to recieve the expert care she needs right now.  How is she doing?  That's great amazing that she looks to be on cpap already.  Take care mama

adrielegorburu

My DD was 22w 5 days, we spent 117 days in the NICU. Its hard but you are stronger than you think. And PP are right, its wonderful thats shes on CPAP alreay!

DrRx

It definitely sucks, but it does get easier with time.  You will get into a routine and the days will start passing by as your LO grows stronger.  You have to keep telling yourself that she is in the best place possible, and that the time spent in the NICU will be but a grain of sand compared to all the time that you will get to spend with her as she grows up.

 

sedge1

It is truly awful. As the days pass, though, you get into a routine, which brings comfort. Most NICU staff are absolutely wonderful, and that also makes a huge difference. Each day will get a little bit easier, but it will always be hard. Hang in there!

Mefunkho

Praying for strength for you and DD. This is going to be a long journey no doubt and you will find the courage and strength within you. You were given a preemie for a reason. Please remember that. We spent 108 long days in the NICU that was 2 hours from home. I stayed in the RMH for that time away from DH. He would come visit every weekend. My days (all day everyday) were spent in the NICU. I spent a lot of time on TB, reading. facebooking, updating Caringbridge. Anything I could do when I wasn't helping with cares or holding her.

Do as much with LO as you can. Let the nurses know that you want to do things too. We also had a lot of support from other people. If they want to help or do something for you please let them.

Also, I posted a few days ago... its a little ways down on the preemie board but there are links to some great resources. Its the  *LONG* If you are a new preemie parent post.

Also, keep a journal. Take lots of pictures. Find something you will be able to keep and take pictures of her next to it once a week (on the same day - we did Tuesdays) so you can see how much she has grown!

If you want to talk or have questions or anything please feel free to get a hold of me. I had a micro-preemie too so I know exactly how you are feeling!

M

TwinnyMommy

My heart breaks for you, my husband and I had to leave our twin boys in the SCN for 6 days. Every time we had to leave my husband and I heart would break and still ache when I think about it. The first few days were the hardest for us but it does get a little better. We called every night before we went to bed and every morning to see how their night was. Do you ever feel you are calling too much or you dont want to interrupt the nurses. Remember that is your LO and you can call whenever you want to. I would get a night sometimes to call and check in on them.

The biggest suggestion I would give you is to lean on your friends and family for support. My husband, friends, and family got me through this hard time while I was away from them. Do not hesitate to reach out to any mom who went through this or is going through it. Your friends and family are wonderful support but most of them have not gone through the experience of leaving their LO. Also, give yourself some time to cry and be sad. Enjoy a little alone time with your husband before your LO comes home. My husband and I took this advise from the nurses at the SCN and went to dinner together one night. It was very enjoyable and a great way to spend time together.

Thought and prayers for you and your husband during this experience.  

 

 

KitT.Kat

katie4253:

You do it, because you have to.  Not because you want to.  No mom on here was excited to leave their LO in the hospital, 2 day stay or 150 day stay, it still sucks. 

You'll get into a routine. You'll make it work.  But, it will never be easy.

100% this. I was so excited to leave after being in the hospital for so long but as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot I started bawling.

I always looked at it like I was on a plane (I really dont like flying). Sometimes you want nothing more than to get off the plane but there's nothing you can do until you get where you're going. Hang in there!

jcsntms06

Praying for you and your LO! Going home is one of the hardest things us mom's have to do. I'm going home tomorrow without my DD and I can't imagine the feelings, even though I've already done this once before. Hang in there Mama!