DE Consult

happywifemomofone

Where should I start.  Consult went well.  RE sounded educated and spent more time discussing options and answering our questions than any RE before.  Feels refreshing to be at a new clinic and not be railroaded into the clinic that our insurance dictated that we go to.  I learned that I have a cyst on my ovary that is messing with my cycle.  My DH was getting really excited about possibility of me being PG-as today is CD37 with no FP.  Beta draw was negative-I was not surprised, but DH is devastated.  I've learned not to get too excited about the possibilities without confirmation, he HAS NO IDEA that I've tested and knew that was the likely outcome.  Although, I do admit to being VERY confused for the past week or so about where FP has been.

Our clinic, Advanced Fertility in Chicago, has a 70-80% success rate with DE (when 2 transferred).  They have a guarantee program, but that's not making financial sense to us because if 75% are successful on fresh cycle, and you've still got additional frosties-it's highly likely that you would be successful, and never need a second attempt. Plus, if you needed another attempt, would have to OOP $7000 in additional donor fees. The clinic works with Med Loan Finance.  I called them today to get some info.  The longest that they finance is 48 months, our payments would be about $800/month.  Considering financing privately through website like Prosper.com, but I'm not yet sure. Also considering a loan from my 401K, knowing that that is probably my cheapest option.  Going to also do some checking with Springstone and some of the other finance companies that do IVF loans.  Newest discussion is about not if we're going to do this, but HOW we are going to do this.   Believe it or not, my DH almost seems excited about moving forward with DE after meeting with new RE.

Not sure yet, but we might consult with Shady Grove by phone before making final decision to move forward.  Interested in their shared donor program, but their success rates aren't as high and travel would be required.  Our ideal outcome would be twins, and then we'd definitely be done.  With our clinic we would likely have frosties to use if we were not blessed with twins.  I'm afraid that with Shady Grove we'd have to pay again if we only got pregnant with a singleton.  Got a User ID and password to further investigate the donors available at Advanced Fertility.  Going to try to login and see what type of matches are available. 

Country Girl in the City

I go to Shady Grove.  I don't know anything about the DE program but if you have other Shady Grove questions, feel free to PM me.

chicagobride_07

Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction for you.  I wish you only the best!

Your post was incredibly helpful to me because I am about your age- and although we may try IVF first with OE- I have a feeling we'll eventually end up going the DE route.  I live in Chicago and was looking into Advanced Fertility because of their good numbers. I didn't have a full understanding of the shared risk program and the additional costs that would be incurred with additional cycles.  Very interesting.

Do you mind if I ask a question or two?  Do you live close to Gurnee, and if not- how were you planning on doing monitoring, etc., during your cycle?  I am in downtown Chicago so it would be a trek for me.  Also, did they have an age limit for DE IVF? 

Again- best wishes.

happywifemomofone

chicagobride_07:

Sounds like things are moving in a positive direction for you.  I wish you only the best!

Your post was incredibly helpful to me because I am about your age- and although we may try IVF first with OE- I have a feeling we'll eventually end up going the DE route.  I live in Chicago and was looking into Advanced Fertility because of their good numbers. I didn't have a full understanding of the shared risk program and the additional costs that would be incurred with additional cycles.  Very interesting.

Do you mind if I ask a question or two?  Do you live close to Gurnee, and if not- how were you planning on doing monitoring, etc., during your cycle?  I am in downtown Chicago so it would be a trek for me.  Also, did they have an age limit for DE IVF? 

Again- best wishes.

I am in Western Suburb, Hanover Park.  Advanced Fertility is one full hour from my home, and employer.  With DE IVF there is only need to go there 4 times, three times for you and once for your husband (plus consultation).  You go for a lining check, on transfer day for the transfer and for blood draw to see if you are pregnant.  Your husband has to go on day of Donor's retrieval.  The only day of these visits that would likely be set in stone would be transfer and retrieval day.  I think that you could work lining check and Hcg draw around your work schedule.  With OE IVF, you have to go much more frequently, sometimes 3-5x per week during stimulation.  (figure over a maximum 2 week time frame).  If you are interested in looking at donor pics and or detailed profile PM me and I'll let you peek with my log in info.  I have found about 10 of their donors that "might" work for us based on their photos, need to delve further into all the information provided.  They told me that average couple ends up with about 6 frosties, plus 1-2 to transfer.  Where are you at now?  FCI River North? 

[Deleted User]

Wow, that's a lot of info for one consult, but it sounds promising!  GL to you & thanks for the update. 

annalisel

Very exciting times for you. 

It doesn't sound like the guarantee program is worth it. 

Good luck with your decision(s)! 

chicagobride_07

Thanks for all the info, Happywife.  I will PM you.  We looked at FCI, but decided to go to a solo practitioner RE downtown instead.  I like him alot- but if we have to move to the DE stage- I want to go to Advanced Fertility because there success rates are so high.

Faithfullyinlove

Just wanted to say GL and sounds like your clinic has amazing success rate!!! 

pillowass

I'm sorry about the cyst and your DH's reaction to the BFN. It's so hard to watch them go through that, especially when we are so jaded. I'm glad your consult went well - that DE success rate is amazing. You have every reason to feel hopeful!

brooklynesque

Good luck, happywife!  Keep us posted.

Mrs.McIrish

Wishing you tons of luck as you figure it out. There are so many combinations about how to do DE and it gets overwhelming.  The 70% success rate is great.   If I can ever figure out my work life, the place I have to use is only 60% which makes me nervous. 

I have to tell you that I remember a while back when you said DE was not on the table at all. It's times like these that it would be interesting to have a slide show of how people change over time on these boards when life doesn't work out the way you think.  I'm sure there are new people on the board  who are thinking to themselves that they'd "never" do DE.. Well fast forward a few years after treatment and heartache to get to the place where it doesn't matter where the baby came from as long as you are holding it..     Wish I could be cycling with you :-)

happywifemomofone

Mrs.McIrish:

Wishing you tons of luck as you figure it out. There are so many combinations about how to do DE and it gets overwhelming.  The 70% success rate is great.   If I can ever figure out my work life, the place I have to use is only 60% which makes me nervous. 

I have to tell you that I remember a while back when you said DE was not on the table at all. It's times like these that it would be interesting to have a slide show of how people change over time on these boards when life doesn't work out the way you think.  I'm sure there are new people on the board  who are thinking to themselves that they'd "never" do DE.. Well fast forward a few years after treatment and heartache to get to the place where it doesn't matter where the baby came from as long as you are holding it..     Wish I could be cycling with you :-)

Thanks...wish that you could be a cycle buddy too!  I remember when I came to the board and everyone seemed to be doing IUI and we were told to go straight to IVF.  Remember when (not long ago), Bubs went straight to DE IVF and I just wasn't getting it....totally respected her decision but I just didn't Understand because that wasn't yet part of my picture/understanding.  Go  Bubs!!  So true how we change over time throughout this whole journey.  Know That I will be a lurker until all of my if friends have graduated or moved on.  Good luck to everyone!

lhcooper

****TICKER WARNING**** 

 

I well remember a little over a year ago when the idea of DE was anathema to me.  Things do/can change, indeed.....

 

The new clinic sounds great, but I just want to share my thoughts on Shady Grove (as the satisfied customer that I am).  It's important to know that their guarantee program is that you bring home a baby from the hospital--not just that you get pregnant, or make it to the 2nd trimester, like some other guarantee programs -- AND you get 6 fresh cycles.  I realize you may not want to do a guarantee program at all, but I'm on another board (of people using DE for Shady Grove, in fact), and truly, with DE, sometimes it still doesn't work on the first try.  It did for me, but the admittedly extra $ we paid,  it did wirk right away for us, was worth it for the "baby" rather than "pregnancy" guarantee and the 6 tries.  Shady Grove actually has a success rate of about 80% within 3 cycles; one reason their success rate may look lower is that that might be on the first try; it might also be the huge number of people who go there, which would bring their nimbers down. I promise, I don't work for them!!! I just want you to have a little more info.

Another thing I will say while I'm at it is that Shady Grove does push the single embryo transfer as the safest and best option.  While twins are nice, they are seriously risky.  Over on PAIF and also on my other board, there are some really terrible stories of twin loss -- premature birth, etc.  DH and I ultimately decided that we were more in favor of one healthy singleton, and that SG's 6-cycle deal gave us an almost fool-proof way to achieve that.   It's true that if you do the 1:3 program (1 donor, 3 recipients), you have less of a chance of having embryos left over (we don't) for a FET down the line.  But if you do get some, the FET cost is about the same as it is anywhere, not a whole new DE IVF charge.

 

Just some food for thought, for whatever it's worth! Glad you're excited about the DE option! 

ETA: sorry for errors above ("since it did work") -- am on my phone!

Reilly626

That's wonderful I'm happy for you. I will tell you being pregnant with twins is a gift, but it's not easy. GL!!!

owlprof

I'm so glad that everything went well! 

happywifemomofone

lhcooper:

****TICKER WARNING**** 

 

I well remember a little over a year ago when the idea of DE was anathema to me.  Things do/can change, indeed.....

 

The new clinic sounds great, but I just want to share my thoughts on Shady Grove (as the satisfied customer that I am).  It's important to know that their guarantee program is that you bring home a baby from the hospital--not just that you get pregnant, or make it to the 2nd trimester, like some other guarantee programs -- AND you get 6 fresh cycles.  I realize you may not want to do a guarantee program at all, but I'm on another board (of people using DE for Shady Grove, in fact), and truly, with DE, sometimes it still doesn't work on the first try.  It did for me, but the admittedly extra $ we paid,  it did wirk right away for us, was worth it for the "baby" rather than "pregnancy" guarantee and the 6 tries.  Shady Grove actually has a success rate of about 80% within 3 cycles; one reason their success rate may look lower is that that might be on the first try; it might also be the huge number of people who go there, which would bring their nimbers down. I promise, I don't work for them!!! I just want you to have a little more info.

Another thing I will say while I'm at it is that Shady Grove does push the single embryo transfer as the safest and best option.  While twins are nice, they are seriously risky.  Over on PAIF and also on my other board, there are some really terrible stories of twin loss -- premature birth, etc.  DH and I ultimately decided that we were more in favor of one healthy singleton, and that SG's 6-cycle deal gave us an almost fool-proof way to achieve that.   It's true that if you do the 1:3 program (1 donor, 3 recipients), you have less of a chance of having embryos left over (we don't) for a FET down the line.  But if you do get some, the FET cost is about the same as it is anywhere, not a whole new DE IVF charge.

 

Just some food for thought, for whatever it's worth! Glad you're excited about the DE option! 

ETA: sorry for errors above ("since it did work") -- am on my phone!

Thanks for taking the time to post this.  Guess we really should consult by phone with Shady Grove.  I wish that they posted costs and things on their website.  Do you remember how long it took you to get a consult with them?  Not sure about the traveling though.  So glad to have been able to watch everyone's stories.....really think that it helped me on my journey.  Always amazed at how quick everyone's pg seems to go from this side of the fence.  Took years for me to even get to considering this option......but I'm so glad we are. 

pillowass

I just wanted to add my 2 cents on DE success rates. My current clinic has about a 60% success rate with DE, and the clinic across town is more like 80%. I have not looked into this too much, but one thing that occurred to me is that my clinic allows you to use a known donor (sister, cousin, friend, etc) while the clinic across town only allows anonymous donors. It's harder to control the pool when people are bringing in their own donors, and I am betting that may account for at least some of the discrepancy. 

It's so nice to see the DE success stories popping in over here

BeckyP005

Happywife I am so happy for you that you are considering DE! Now the hard part is to digest all this information! I'm kinda bummed that my clinic here in Pitts only has a 60% chance of success. It's funny that I never had a problem using DE but I have a problem with traveling. Friends have told me to go to ShadyGrove as that's prob the closest but traveling is not in the cards for me. I give credit for those who travel across the state.

Wishing you lots of luck and it seems that you are getting alot of great info from the ladies on here. Sometimes I feel bad that all of you always give me wonderful and thoughful advice and all I can give back is encouragement. I'm just at a standstill and havent had to go through all what you ladies do. Keep us posted

lhcooper

*****TICKER*****

 

I had a phone consult with Shady Grove in early August, maybe 2 weeks after I first called? And then our initial appointment there was in early September.  I only went back one more time -- for transfer -- and did all other monitoring with my local RE.  After a mock cycle and picking our donor, transfer was exactly 3 months from our initial visit, in early December. If you can fly out of Chicago you can go via Southwest to BWI, which is great because of the flexibility, which you need in any case around ER/ET.  Because they use ICSI, DH actually only *needs* to go with you the first time and give a sample to freeze. I went for the transfer on my own to cut down on cost, and also DH was so busy.  Though they do like you to be on bed rest for 24 hours afterwards, but you can still manage that on your own in a hotel room with some creative food-shopping. There are nice places people stay at right next door to the clinic, and all the taxi-drivers in the area know the "baby-making place"--no car rental or driving required. I was lucky because I had family to stay with, but others who have traveled have all had very pleasant experiences.  

I think the prices are listed somewhere on their site if you dig enough.  If not, call and they will certainly send the info to you before an actual consult.

Good luck!!! 

lhcooper

Here is a link to a forum of Shady Grove DE ladies.  It can be helpful to browse. And now I promise to get off my soapbox!

https://forums.fertilitycommunity.com/donor-issues-egg-sperm/2020181521-shady-grove-anyone-213.html

 

Bubs711

happywifemomofone:

Mrs.McIrish:

Wishing you tons of luck as you figure it out. There are so many combinations about how to do DE and it gets overwhelming.  The 70% success rate is great.   If I can ever figure out my work life, the place I have to use is only 60% which makes me nervous. 

I have to tell you that I remember a while back when you said DE was not on the table at all. It's times like these that it would be interesting to have a slide show of how people change over time on these boards when life doesn't work out the way you think.  I'm sure there are new people on the board  who are thinking to themselves that they'd "never" do DE.. Well fast forward a few years after treatment and heartache to get to the place where it doesn't matter where the baby came from as long as you are holding it..     Wish I could be cycling with you :-)

Thanks...wish that you could be a cycle buddy too!  I remember when I came to the board and everyone seemed to be doing IUI and we were told to go straight to IVF.  Remember when (not long ago), Bubs went straight to DE IVF and I just wasn't getting it....totally respected her decision but I just didn't Understand because that wasn't yet part of my picture/understanding.  Go  Bubs!!  So true how we change over time throughout this whole journey.  Know That I will be a lurker until all of my if friends have graduated or moved on.  Good luck to everyone!

Believe me, I understand the whole DE concept not being part of the picture.  I said all along that I would adopt rather than do DE.  Honestly, though, I never thought that I would have to face either decision.  Then my IUI's failed to produce more than 2, maybe 3 mature follies, even on really high doses of Follistim.  My RE told me the chances of IVF with my OE were pretty much 0% since I most likely wouldn't produce enough eggs to proceed with the cycle.  He offered another IUI, but he said it had less than a 10% chance of it working, and I knew we had less than a 1% chance on our own.  Given all that, the offer of DE with a 60% chance seemed like a better option.  I know lots of people go for a second opinion and do everything they can to try with their OE.  If I were younger, I might have done that.  However, given money and time constraints, DH and I decided this was our best option.  He says if I'm not KU by the end of the year, he's done (he'll be 47 by then, and I'll be almost 43).  I like and trust my clinic, and it really wasn't feasible for us to go elsewhere.  Part of the DE-IVF is covered by insurance - adoption wouldn't be at all. All those things went into my decision to jump into DE so quickly.  I'm a bit scared of no guarantee and this not working, but I'm trying to be positive.

There are so many things to consider when using DE.  It's definitely a lot to take in (I cried the entire way through my WTF appointment when I was given this option).  If you have the time, continue to do your research until you find the path that's best for you.  If you have any questions that come up, feel free to ask.  GL with everything!

mtlaurel

IVF was anathema to us, never mind DE, when we first started. And, here we are heading down the DE route, too.

I'm glad your consult went well, and that you're both feeling very comfortable with the new clinic. I think figuring out where and how to do DE is almost harder to figure out than whether to do it. Programs are so different and I felt/feel so much pressure to choose the right clinic and program to make it work, and work quickly...

We are forgoing a guarantee program. That's been a very hard decision for me. We just don't have the cash on hand to afford one, and I'm not comfortable taking on more debt. I also feel like that the things covered by the Attain program (the one available to us) are only part of the expense, so we'd end up spending another 10k per cycle for donor and med costs and that's a lot.

I also started to think about the relationship between stats, donors and programs. We're going to a clinic with a 70% DE birth rate. They claim that their success rates are the same between shared cycles and full cycles. And, they openly talk about how only certain donors are eligible for the shared cycles. That made us jump to the conclusion that the "best" donors are funneled to the shared cycle program, and conversely, the less than best might be funneled towards the shared-risk program so that you're more likely to have to cycle multiple times. This might just be how I'm rationalizing our decision to go with a shared cycle, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Good luck with any other consults and figuring out how to go from here.