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Attachment Parenting
anna7602
member
I am irrationally pi$$ed
anna7602
member
I have not an ounce of compassion for my husband who has spent the last ten days sick as all hell. In that time, I spent a lovely 3 days with DD in another country, then came back here and dealt with what may have been a UTI in her or maybe something else that various lab tests and kidney sonograms have not yet diagnosed. I have shlepped her to places all over town and dealt with countless professionals (in a foreign language) while DH has sat around with a temperature going back and forth between 99 and 103 and a cough that has kept him all up night and relegated me to DD's room. Did he go see a doctor in all that time? Did I have anyone else to help me deal with all the stuff relating to DD's possible UTI? Was I able to get any of my own work done when DH was laying around the house all day feeling sorry for himself and breathing his germs all over the place? No, of course not.
And to boot, he got upset with me yesterday because I stood in the stupid line at H & M for 2 hours for the stupid Marni sale and bought a stupid Marni shirt because I WAS HAVING A CRAPPY WEEK and couldn't focus on anything else anyway. So he finally went to the doctor today and he has PNEUMONIA! And he has been lying around undiagnosed for TEN days.
I know I should feel bad for him, but seriously, if I felt as sick as he has been saying he felt, I would have dragged my arse to a doctor a lot sooner, for my own sake and for my family's sake. He has an English-speaking doctor, for crying out loud. He had to find one when we first got here in order to sign up for his gym membership.
Plus, I am also upset this means he isn't just going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly take DD duty so I can sleep in and relax and find my sanity.
I know how ridiculous it is that I am angry. But I am. And I just want to have one normal no-one-gets-sick and no-one-wakes-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night week.
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Re: I am irrationally pi$$ed
Thanks for understanding. I think that's what has me so exasperated. If I had just had to deal with DD and all the weird maybe-a-UTI-maybe-not stuff, I'd be frazzled, but that's part of the parental territory. It's the experience of dealing with two sick people at home and the fact that the adult sick person has been harder to handle than the little sick person that has me wanting to scream and run away.
I agree - men suck at being sick (to wildly generalize a whole population)
My DH is worthless if he has a cold/flu/whatever. I'm sorry you are dealing with this! Don't let him make you feel guilty.
What's going on with the UTI? LO has had two of them, and I tend to skip the UTI and go straight to kidney infections. They should be able to diagnose it pretty easily. Once you get the correct antibiotic is should go away pretty fast. I also recommend drinking 100% cranberry juice.
She was complaining of pain/discomfort and had blood in her urine, but the 1st lab test showed negative for infection. Then a kidney and bladder sonogram showed negative, too. Through all of this, she seemed to be better as the days passed and stopped complaining. She hasn't had a fever or anything. She had another lab test yesterday and they said there was protein in her blood still (meaning blood), but they couldn't determine if there was an infection or not.
In the meantime, she seems perfectly happy when a week ago she seemed uncomfortable and cranky.
Our new doctor thinks maybe it was a reaction to the antibiotics she took a couple of weeks ago, but he's not convinced. He proscribed some homeopathic medicine that is flushing her system. I have never seen her pee so much in my life.
Oh, and she hates cranberry juice. We keep trying to give it to her and she'll only have a sip or two.
Sorry so long!
Chewable Vitamin C is also good for UTI's and is more like candy and less like... well, 100% cranberry juice. That stuff is pretty sour.
Good luck. Try to find a way to get yourself a break from both of them, even if it's just getting out for a half hour. You're burnt out and that leaves little patience for a man cold (I mean, pneumonia... but still, you know it's more dramatic than any woman with pneumonia).
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Agreed. Although sometimes they are worse than the children!
Agreed. Although sometimes they are worse than the children!
I'm sorry. That sounds awful.
A few years ago DH had a cold, and we were going away for the weekend to celebrate our anniversary...wine tasting, hot tubbing, hiking, etc. Well he just kept wanting to sleep, so I wandered around the resort by myself, read a book in the sunshine, ordered room service up, etc. Then the next day we went to an amazing brunch and he wouldn't eat any of it. Then we went wine tasting and he was only drinking small amounts, I was just so annoyed with him, I felt like he was "wasting our time together". We went home and picked up our daughter, and when we got home he just wanted to go to sleep. I was so pissed at him. I was changing DD into pajamas and getting ready to put her to bed, and DH came out and said "I need you to take me to the emergency room, I can't breathe and i'm having chest pains".
Me: WTF???
So at 9pm on a Sunday night we drove to the emergency room, and DH was admitted and he was very dehydrated and almost passed out. If he was that sick all weekend, why didn't he have me take him to the hospital earlier?? He didn't want to disapoint me on our anniversary.
So scary. I hope your DH and your kiddo are both ok in the next few days! Can you hire a sitter to come over and watch the kiddo so you can go watch a movie alone or something to decompress?
Awesome idea, DD loves blueberries. I'll see if I can find some.
@ The Jen- sorry you had to go through that. Sounds exactly like something DH would do.
I haven't found a babysitter yet since our move, but my parents are flying in this week. They're pretty high maintenance people, but I hope to get at least a couple hours from them so I can go cut my hair or something.
Omg. Yes. LOVE my guy to death, but how he was some kind of elite Marine sniper who did all of this crazy stuff, I can't even imagine... When he has a cold, allergy, pulled muscle, anything, he's the biggest whiny baby on the planet. I'm sorry you're having a rough time.
Hope everyone is better soon!
Mac and cheese lover!
I really dont get why men do this....DH does it too! but now that we have LO i force him to go to the dr whether he wants to or not...which means making his appt and driving him there and the whole nine....just like a child or else he wont go lol oh and god forbid he has a headache....hes useless! I had a migraine for 3 days last week which if id been able to take my meds and sleep for at least 6hrs it wouldve gone away but nope...i suffered through it because i had LO to take care of but HE will happily take to the bed if he feels any sort of pain....ugh...so yea i dont feel bad for him either lol