Thanks, but no, MIL

November3Love

So, MIL has sent some gifts for the baby. One item is a Winnie the Pooh blanket which is cute. Upon telling her "Thank you, it's cute.", she informs me that DHs nursery was Pooh. DH & I have spoken with her about nursery items & whatnot & she has made mention about Pooh & DH has said it's an idea, but not decided for the theme.

We just found out yesterday we are having a boy *(which was a COMPLETE shock... we ALL thought girl!)* so we're thinking sports/baseball.

Before even getting a chance to get on the computer ourselves to look at boy items, MIL sends an email with 4 Pooh nursery themes & wants to know which we like best.

This is definitely not the first time she's come with her own ideas, if you know what I mean. While her enthusiasm is appreciated, this shoving Winnie down the throat is not. I replied to her this morning about going with the baseball theme. She has yet to reply, but I can't help but feel her still pushing for Pooh. I know this seems so trivial & I should be grateful she's willing to help. On the same token, it's our first & maybe our only. It would be nice if she could just fall back with her ideas a bit & be more open to hearing our's out.

Anyone been in similar situations? What did you do? *tia* 

joshandpanda

I was in the same area with my MIL, but it wasn't about the bedding, but rather the nursery crib set... both H and I were positive that we wanted dark wood furniture, to flow with the wood floors... she kept saying she doesn't like dark wood, that a natural wood or white would look better... 

you just need to stand your ground, yes, listen to her opinions, but know, that in the end, it will be in your house, and you have to look at it EVERY DAY... like I said, just stand your ground if you want a certain "theme"

GL! 

pinkpepsi

joshandpanda:

I was in the same area with my MIL, but it wasn't about the bedding, but rather the nursery crib set... both H and I were positive that we wanted dark wood furniture, to flow with the wood floors... she kept saying she doesn't like dark wood, that a natural wood or white would look better... 

you just need to stand your ground, yes, listen to her opinions, but know, that in the end, it will be in your house, and you have to look at it EVERY DAY... like I said, just stand your ground if you want a certain "theme"

GL! 

I agree.

 If she is anything like my MIL though than you will recieve Pooh stuff anyways from now on. I hope she listens better than mine, who does what she wants regardless of what we say.

pinkpepsi

joshandpanda:

I was in the same area with my MIL, but it wasn't about the bedding, but rather the nursery crib set... both H and I were positive that we wanted dark wood furniture, to flow with the wood floors... she kept saying she doesn't like dark wood, that a natural wood or white would look better... 

you just need to stand your ground, yes, listen to her opinions, but know, that in the end, it will be in your house, and you have to look at it EVERY DAY... like I said, just stand your ground if you want a certain "theme"

GL! 

I agree.

 If she is anything like my MIL though than you will recieve Pooh stuff anyways from now on. I hope she listens better than mine, who does what she wants regardless of what we say.

Laruen

I love my MIL a lot, but at the same time she can be a very pushy person.

I would have DH talk to her and tell her that he really wants to do a baseball theme. That way it's not you telling MIL you don't like her idea. Or she doesn't feel like you are telling her you don't like her idea.

My MIL got really mad becasue she felt like she didn't get to do anything in DS room. We did a pirate theme and between my DH, mom, and FIL we all painted the room and FIL made a life size plam tree. So she put some used toys out that a friend gave us before our baby shower and got mad at me when I took them out of the room. I wouldn't have minded the toy's in the room but they were really gross. Our friend didn't clean them before he gave them to us. And I didn't want people seeing that.

 

LaurenCase89

It's nice that she's involved and wants to help out, but seriously? You had your baby already, it's time to let your son and his wife have theirs and do it their way.

BeagleMom2012

This cracked me up because I feel like we might have the same MIL! She LOVES Winnie the Pooh. And while I do love the cartoon and the books, I hate characters on baby bedding, clothes, shoes, etc. My MIL wears sweatshirts with Winne the Pooh and other Disney characters on it (along with her tapered jeans and layered Kelly Kapowski-type bangs...but I digress). She had I have completely different taste when it comes to everything. She's pretty tacky, and I prefer simple, traditional, and preppy styles when it comes to baby items. I know she's going to buy tons of stuff for our baby, especially if it's a girl, and I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I'd just rather her not spend the money. Thankfully, DH looks back on pictures of himself in NASCAR t-shirts and realizes she doesn't need to be dressing a kid. So he's got my back!

merri25

I have the total opposite situation with my MIL. 

I have come to find out from my SIL, that they have NEVER recieved a present for any of her 4 children from our MIL and FIL.....so weird.  I know that they are 'frugal' to say the least, but not once buying a grandchild a teddy bear????I would love for my MIL to actually seem to care, but on the flip side, I would not want her to tell me what to do....oh wait, she already does!  Anyways, just my little vent of the day. 

MIL's are so difficult to deal with.  I think it might be one of the most frusterating relationship dynamic.

Molissa10

Why doesn't she just get Pooh stuff for her grandchild to keep at HER house?    My mom is going to have a nursery at her house.  I told her it was weird, but now I think it will be nice.  We often go to their house for football dinner and it will be nice to have our peanut have it's own room.

LMB1231

I figure that my MIL will probably start buying us stuff that isn't necessarily my taste and if its clothes I plan to just use it when we see her. Your MIL kind of went over the line of "just being excited" to "do over baby" I think by ignoring your wishes. If this scenario took place in a work environment to her where a fellow employee ignored her preferences on things and just did what they wanted (after consulting her) I doubt she would really like it. And no one would think it was acceptable behavior, funny how things are suppose to "change" when its a pregnancy involved. 

If you think she is going to really push you to purchase stuff for the nursery tell DH to have a talk with her. Inevitably its her money and if she wants to buy you things you can't really stop her, but she can't make YOU purchase things for your nursery that you don't want. GL!

Tash13

pinkpepsi:

joshandpanda:

I was in the same area with my MIL, but it wasn't about the bedding, but rather the nursery crib set... both H and I were positive that we wanted dark wood furniture, to flow with the wood floors... she kept saying she doesn't like dark wood, that a natural wood or white would look better... 

you just need to stand your ground, yes, listen to her opinions, but know, that in the end, it will be in your house, and you have to look at it EVERY DAY... like I said, just stand your ground if you want a certain "theme"

GL! 

I agree.

 If she is anything like my MIL though than you will recieve Pooh stuff anyways from now on. I hope she listens better than mine, who does what she wants regardless of what we say.

This is exactly what my H's family did.  I don't care for themed nurseries and chose a fairly neutral bedding and a few other items in cute prints or colors but nothing with a specific theme.  DH's family loves classic Pooh and, despite the fact that we were obviously not going with a theme, got us every classic Pooh item that they sell at Target (blankets, entire set of stuffed animals, mobile, etc.).  They also don't give gift receipts (ever!).  We said thank you, gave the mobile and a couple blankets to somebody else as a gift, and put the stuffed animals with the rest of his stuffed animals so it doesn't take over the room. 

I'd just tell her you guys decided to go in a different direction and show her some beddings you DO like.