Joining the single parent club.

crankygirl

HI everyone

I'm only 6 weeks but I will be joining this club. 

A little background. 

I'm 29 and have been with the same guy for 7 years.. Not the healthiest of relationships mainly due to mental illness.

So.. we broke up and no week later I got a positive pregnancy test. I'm super excited but I told him to just go away. I dont want the heart ache and fights and screaming and crying. He didn't argue with me so.. I truly feel this was the best decision. 

I don't even want his financial support.. even though i'll probably need it. I would just rather he not be involved.  

I have my super supportive family and some really great friends. I'm thankful for their support.

Anyone else gone through or is going through anything like this?

tstaggs2012

BF and I weren't together when we found out I was pregnant with Jax (after two years together).. We just bought a test bc I kept complaining about sharp pains in my stomach and back... We patched things up for about the first three months.. And then it ended again.. We haven't been together since December.. We constantly fought and argued.. And almost every single day I get upset... But I know I don't need the heartache... Just like you I don't want his financial support or anything.. But he insists on being around the baby and helping take care of him... So he's going to get his time and I mine at this point... It's hard... But if you have support (like you've said you do) it should get easier! I hope things go well for you!

crankygirl

He hasnt insisted on anything.. but I have a feeling that may change. I haven't any intention on putting him on the bc or giving his last name.. so if he wants anything he'll have to go to court and put forth the energy, effort and cost. That alone would show me he may care just a tiny bit.. but I don't think he'll go that far.

If he does though.. then i'll take his money.. I wouldn't feel right.. having to legally give visitation without receiving financial support. 

The only thing I feel terrible about is.. My dad is my rock.. and I am thankful and grateful for him every day.. and I feel shitty not being able to provide that for my own. I mean.. I'll do everything and anything but.. I really believe a good dad is vital and I screwed up in that area.

I hope things go well for you too.. It's tough. Be strong!

dmndsr4eva

crankygirl:

He hasnt insisted on anything.. but I have a feeling that may change. I haven't any intention on putting him on the bc or giving his last name.. so if he wants anything he'll have to go to court and put forth the energy, effort and cost. That alone would show me he may care just a tiny bit.. but I don't think he'll go that far.

If he does though.. then i'll take his money.. I wouldn't feel right.. having to legally give visitation without receiving financial support. 

The only thing I feel terrible about is.. My dad is my rock.. and I am thankful and grateful for him every day.. and I feel shitty not being able to provide that for my own. I mean.. I'll do everything and anything but.. I really believe a good dad is vital and I screwed up in that area.

I hope things go well for you too.. It's tough. Be strong!

I wouldn't give up on providing a good dad for your LO.  If your BF doesn't want to be involved maybe in the future you will meet someone who can be a good step parent to your child.

Best of luck to you!

crankygirl

I'm not giving up that there is someone else who will be amazing to me and mine.. but I just know.. like 

My father and I look so much a like.. and so many quirks and I just feel bad about that.