Enforcing the "no"

kelly321

At this age, if your child is doing something potentially dangerous, how do you enforce the "no"? When I tell her no, then she'll stop what she's doing maybe 50% of the time. The other 50%, I pick her up, take her away from whatever she's doing that's possibly dangerous, and put her down somewhere else. But she thinks it's a game and starts laughing, heading right back to what she was doing.

Obviously she's too young for any sort of "disciplining," but I'm just wondering whether there's anything more I could do to help her understand that when I say no, she's supposed to stop and it's not a game. Or is it ok for it to be a game at this stage? Sigh. I feel lost on this topic.

kerrbear72

I think repetition is key for sure. When she goes back to what she was doing, you pull her away and tell her no. Over..and over.. again. 

Personally, I have a hard time not laughing at DS when he realizes he's doing something he's not supposed to and he laughs at me. Ugh.  

everam01

I'm just repeating the removal/words over and over for now.

Trying to touch something dangerous? "That's not safe" and move to another spot...over and over. 

Pulling my hair/biting me/slapping his brother? "That's not nice" and move him away or put him down. 

I don't think they really understand much at this age, but at least we'll get in the habit of doing it. 

lizardknitter

everam01:

I'm just repeating the removal/words over and over for now.

Trying to touch something dangerous? "That's not safe" and move to another spot...over and over. 

Pulling my hair/biting me/slapping his brother? "That's not nice" and move him away or put him down. 

I don't think they really understand much at this age, but at least we'll get in the habit of doing it. 

From reading a few books on development, I'm gathering that they do understand, but are helpless to comply.  They lack self-control and are wired to touch and explore so they know they aren't supposed to do it, but can't stop themselves.  We are also repeating and removing, over and over.   Or just removing the offending item. 

paramedicswife

everam01:

I'm just repeating the removal/words over and over for now.

Trying to touch something dangerous? "That's not safe" and move to another spot...over and over. 

Pulling my hair/biting me/slapping his brother? "That's not nice" and move him away or put him down. 

I don't think they really understand much at this age, but at least we'll get in the habit of doing it. 

This is what we're doing, to a T. I'm trying not to use the word "no" because I know before too long he'll start saying it back. The only time I use it is when he's doing something that's very dangerous. I can't think of anything a tthe moment, but there are very few times that I've actually told him "No."

Elocin

I am trying to redirect as much as possible without using negative words- "No, don't, ect." Like when she pulls at my hair, I tell her "gentle hands" and demonstrate.

AZ123

I personally use what I did with the dogs (so bad but so effective!). I would say "no" and then give a specific command. Like "No. Hot. Don't touch" and then pull their arm physically away. For hitting, it is "No hitting." that sort of thing.

DS1 didn't really get it until he was about 14 months. There's a point where you realize wow, they totally understand!

Athena0809

Elocin:

I am trying to redirect as much as possible without using negative words- "No, don't, ect." Like when she pulls at my hair, I tell her "gentle hands" and demonstrate.

This. I have a thing about the negative words so when he pulls the dogs ears too hard I say "gently" and sign the sign for gently, over and over. This, or redirecting and removing the item or moving him on to a different spot/activity depending on what it is.

kelly321

Thanks, those are good ideas! I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to fight back a laugh (often unsuccessfully) when she thinks it's funny when I tell her no.

lovemyminions

We have been really lucky so far with LO.  We say NO Touch in a firm voice and she will either crawl away, smile try it again and we say no touch again and she crawls off, or we say no touch and she stops and launches into a full bawl (sad cry, not angry cry) so we pick her up and tell her we love her but it's no touch. 

btbarron08

We are saying, "We don't play with cords, phone, fill in the blank."  I'm trying to stay away from just saying "no."  But there have been a few times when "no" just worked.  He will usually grunt back at us then go find something else to play with.  It's almost funny when he grunts, but we are trying really hard not to laugh.