My Former Boss Outed Me on FB

miketherdswifey

First of all - Hi 2nd trimester!

Last night I posted a video of my 2 year old on Facebook.  Friends started liking and commenting and such and about an hour later my husband went on Facebook and since he is tagged in the video he was checking to see what people were saying.  My former boss wrote something along the lines of "Wow, I can't believe how big she is getting.  And I hear she is going to be a big sister.  Congrats!"  The only way I can figure she found out it because she and my current boss, who took her position when she left, are friends.  My current boss knows I am pregnant and probably thought nothing of telling my former boss because she and I do not have any mutual friends.  Totally innocent mistake - and I guess it saved me the trouble of figuring out a fun way to announce it on Facebook.  I thought about taking her comment down, but by now plenty of people have seen it.  Oh well!

SunAndRain

It is not an innocent mistake.  It is stupidity.  People need to learn what is their news to share and what isn't.  They are NOT too dumb to realize that FB is a very public place.  Pregnancy is a very private matter until you are blatantly showing.  You air your laundry, I'll air mine. 

I'm very sensitive to this issue because at 9 weeks we shared the news with our immediate family (X-mas surprise) and BIL immediately posted the news on FB.  I was NINE weeks!  Luckily I caught it right away and got him to take it down but I was mortified at the thought of all our friends and extended family finding out this way.  And even more terrified to think if I MC'd how that would play out.  Would he post that news for us too? 

I would PM your former boss with something like "Thanks for sharing your excitement.  Of course we haven't had an opportunity to share this news with all our friends extended family yet.  Looks like we won't have to now!"  Normally I wouldn't be so snippy but she needs to think before she acts.

LaurenCase89

I would be mad. I really enjoyed telling people myself! This is also my first so maybe I wouldn't be as mad if it was my second child, but still!

AnaKat405

I agree with SunAndRain.  I'd think if you wanted to share you would've posted something along the lines of "soon to be big sister" with the video.  Common sense should tell most people to keep it zipped.

But, I'm sensitive to this, too, because something similar happened to me at work.  I was all of 7 weeks along with people commenting on me "glowing".  I essentially told them all to STFU about it (in nicer terms, of course!), because if it'd been up to me they wouldn't even know about it yet.  There's no way I was "glowing" with all the ms and nausea I was experiencing unless it was the sickness making my face red.

Anyway, glad you seem to be taking it in stride.

chicagocubsfan23

I guess I'm different than most, I would probably be disappointed that it came out that way, but I wouldn't be mad or anything. It was probably just an honest mistake, and she didn't realize you weren't telling people. If your now boss told her, she probably just assumed you were letting people know already. I can see how it would happen, and she's probably just happy for you and wanted to congratulate you.

Princess_Lily

Lurker here.

We have a friend who is pregnant, and when we heard the news (from her husband) I called her via phone only to wish her a congrats.

Never did I mention anything via facebook though, I see she hasn't said anything yet, and until she does I won't. Facebook is very public, and maybe she has her reasons for not mentioning it there.

Privacy must be respected even when social media is involved.

Crossingfingers

Bummer that you didn't get to share, but about facebook- I wouldn't friend my boss anyway. Although  I use facebook almost daily, I don't think people realize how much privacy you lose when using it.

It wasn't very "smart" of you your former boss to out you though- common sense goes a long way! 

AlliAlic

This is what really made me hate Facebook. My father didn't get to hear from me that he was going to be a first time grandparent. My fiance's family flooded facebook with the news. I think it really hurt his feelings When I go for my anatomy scan on the 28th he is the first one I'm going to.

robsbride!

she probably figured since she knew everyone knew...I would assume most people tell their friends/family before telling anyone at work (unless some medical reason work needed to know)

ipookie8

chicagocubsfan23:

I guess I'm different than most, I would probably be disappointed that it came out that way, but I wouldn't be mad or anything. It was probably just an honest mistake, and she didn't realize you weren't telling people. If your now boss told her, she probably just assumed you were letting people know already. I can see how it would happen, and she's probably just happy for you and wanted to congratulate you.

 

I'm with you on this one... 

trish051003

My sister wrote on her FB that she is excited to be an aunt again - I wasn't even 12 weeks and I didn't want my work to know or anything.  We have shared friends and family.  I hadn't told everyone.  She got an ear full : )