Overnights

princesa2423

So I was wondering, when do overnight visitations typically start? I know I've read a variety of information, but I'd like to know what people's experiences are.

I'm EBF, and STBXH has DD every other Thursday from 4-6pm. Recently, he decided he'd like to see her more often, which is okay with me for the most part. He wants to see her twice a week now, which is ok, but also wants to start overnights in another month. I REALLY don't feel comfortable with that. Especially as I'm EBF, and she'll tolerate a bottle every now and then, but doesn't take one eagerly. Plus, when she gets up in the middle of the night, its usually the breast that gets her back to sleep, or "petting" my face until she falls asleep again. I just think that would be too traumatic for her. Maybe if she were a year, maybe 18 months . . . but only 7 months old??

 I posted earlier about me having reservations about his mental stability as he has had temper outbursts, which is why we're separated now, and has been physically violent in the past. I just want to protect DD, but my legal aid told me its going to be VERY hard to get supervised visitation, so I'm trying to be as cooperative as possible (sigh). Any and all info is helpful.

 

P.S. A court date is still pending for the divorce, waiting to see if judge will waive filing fees on my divorce response paperwork (sigh) what a hassle this divorce stuff is. In case it matters, he is the one who filed for divorce, I was willing to stay together if he'd get some professional help, but he refuses to.

LadyLissame

Every situation is different. STBXH has DS for overnights every week and my son is only 7 months old as well. He is also FF so I do not have to worry about EBF.

Most states have guildelines for visitation schedules. See if you can find a copy of your states.

sweetie0228

Do not agree to ANY visitation changes until a judge tells you.

Especially, when you don't know yours (or your child's) rights you shouldn't give them up.  Right now keep the status quo.  When he pushes just tell him let's revisit that during mediation for court ordered parenting time.

18 months for overnights is what I've typically seen but with judges becoming more modern and the views changing that if a monther can pump and have the child in DC the father is just as capable as a DCP.

But most judges will follow the set precedence and they typically will either continue with what you've allowed as visitation or grant more. 

cmanmom

For our temporary orders the judge gave then stbxh 3 - 2 hr. visits a week and an overnight e/o weekend, Saturday at 12 until Sunday at 4.  DS was 13 mo. old at the time.

Over the next two years we did mediation, a pretrial settlement and a final settlement in which he was granted e/o saturday from 10 to 4. 

Since then I have taken him back to court two more times to try and protect DS.  Now he has counselor supervised visitation only...which he has yet to set up.  He last saw DS (now 5 yrs old) in November.  So remember, if it is WARRANTED and you fight for it, it can be changed.

It's a L O N G road and so very tough!  GL