How many??

AMcLaws

How many is too many to invite to a shower?? I'm helping to plan a shower for a friend soon. I had volunteered to do the invitations, figuring on 50 or 60 invitations. (I did this KNOWING that her family WAY overdoes things!!!) They came back with a list of 141!!!! I completely lost it. I'm unemployed and we're trying to save for a car. I feel like this makes her appear greedy. It seems that she's inviting every person she's ever encountered, just for a gift. What are your opinions?? Am I out of line for being upset??

rhubarb123

Yikes!  Was she given a specific number as to how many you and the other hosts can accomodate?  Maybe all of you need to have a chat and figure out that number and then let her know she has to pare down her list somewhat.  That is a lot of people.  I invited 80 to my shower but only about 60 showed up.  For showers that I've hosted there have been as many as 100 invited but I always keep in mind that not everyone will be able to make it.  I think the most was 80 that came.

punkrockabye

That is an insane amount for a baby shower. Wow. The guest count is based on what the host/hosts can accommodate. If the host can afford to have a party with 141 people, then so be it. I don't think I know anyone who can afford something like that. Talk it over with the other hosts because chances are they will be thinking the same thing. There is nothing wrong with telling her that the list needs to be cut down so you guys can actually afford to throw the shower. It's like offering to buy someone a bike so they can get around and they demand a Prius!

kyleeduke

Wow! 141? That sounds like too many too me. 141 is like the amount of people you invite to your wedding. Unless she has 141 family members and close friends this sounds like someone who is only in it for the stuff. I mean the average shower lasts about 2 hours, you wouldn't even have time to greet every guest let alone open gifts or just enjoy the day. No, I do not think you are overreacting. I would absolutely let her know that too. 

lw0405

I'm having the same problem. We would need to send out at least a 100 invitation to to our family. That's a lots of people as is and that does not included  any friends what so ever. Of course most of our family is out of town. We are having a family reuinion on both sides of our family this year. We where things about spitting it up. Do a family shower and a friend shower. Not everyone is going to show up anyways- but they can also send gifts?!

EastCoastBride

If you can't afford to contribute more to the shower, then speak up and say so.  I think 141 is INSANE and it's absolutely the hosts perogative to say "Um... sorry, that's way more than I was planning on".  even if you're only doing the invitations, you can basically say the same thing. 

 

AMcLaws

I thought it was insane too. Etiquette says 15-30 family and close friends. Like I said, I planned on 50-60, knowing that her family way overdoes things for events such as this. Her sisters are the ones throwing the shower, I just volunteered to help as a close friend. They see nothing wrong with the number of invitations going out. She and I had a discussion and she didn't like what I had to say. Another friend stepped forward and asked if she could make the invitations in order to dffuse the situation. So, now I'm in charge of decorations. I sent out about 30 invitations for my shower, and we were still way crowded. I just don't get it. She's even invited my family, whom she knows just because she's friends with me and my husband. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, they feel like they've only been invited for a gift. The whole thing is just kinda nuts, and I'm looking forward to it being over.

EastCoastBride

AMcLaws:

She's even invited my family, whom she knows just because she's friends with me and my husband. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, they feel like they've only been invited for a gift. The whole thing is just kinda nuts, and I'm looking forward to it being over.

This is exactly why I tell people to use discretion when coming up w/ their list.  There is such a thing as inviting too many people, and offending people. 

Please remind your family that it's an invitation, but a subpeona!  They can decline and they don't have to send a gift!

tcu_2003

AMcLaws:

She's even invited my family, whom she knows just because she's friends with me and my husband. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, they feel like they've only been invited for a gift. The whole thing is just kinda nuts, and I'm looking forward to it being over.

This has happened to my mom before, too - she'd get invitations to showers for friends of mine or my sister's that she really doesn't know that well.  If I find out about it, I tell her to just RSVP that she's unable to attend, and not send a gift.  It's one thing if your family knows her well, but if they don't, then you're right, it seems gift-grabby.

Gismo123

AMcLaws:

She's even invited my family, whom she knows just because she's friends with me and my husband. They're kind of uncomfortable with it, they feel like they've only been invited for a gift. The whole thing is just kinda nuts, and I'm looking forward to it being over.

Yup it's official, she's gift grabby! I could see invited a family of a friend if you're close with them but NOT every damn family you have met in your life I mean sheesh!

Honestly if it were me in your position I would just do the decorations since you're already committed to it but I would not go to the shower! 

bdesigns4you

Wow, 141 is a huge amount! The most invitations I've had people order from me were 100, and I thought that was crazy! I hope they come to their senses and cut down on the list, it's a baby shower, not a wedding. Just wow.

shanalee1

Whoa! I came to this board looking for threads about what an appropriate # of guests is. I just made up a rough list with about 30 people, and was wondering if that was too many! Now I feel better about it! Thanks! (oh, and good luck!)

shawna&leon

My husband and I both have huge families and many close friends since we both grew up here. We're at about 70 invitations. Our co-ed baby shower is going to run us about $250 for food, beer, decorations, and game prizes. Being crafty certainly helps save money.