I need ideas--he is miserable (sorry to be a pw)

SandiaPinaMama

Okay, for the past couple of weeks, LO has been protesting diaper changes.  For about the past week, DH and I have just accepted that he is going to scream bloody murder (not just crying, but like we are actually hurting him) the whole time until we pick him up.  This has been especially disappointing because we have been doing really well with ECing, but now he starts crying when I put him down to take off his diaper, and continues screaming while I take him to the potty, and then screams some more while I put on the new dipe.  I don't want him to get a negative association, so the past few days, I have just changed his diaper as fast as I can, and skipped the potty (which I hate doing because he otherwise pees every time). 

Within the past few days, he starts crying when we go into his room, even though we sometimes just hang out in there and play or nurse.  Last night, I say to DH, "It's fresh diaper time!", and LO loses it.  

Here is what we've tried/info you may want:

-We CD.

-He does not have a rash.

-I have stripped my diapers recently, after he had a yeast rash and DCP used creams with my CDs.  I used blue Dawn for the stripping, and non-chlorinated bleach and hot water for the yeast.

-We have successfully EC'd most of the time since he was 7 weeks.

-I have tried giving him a certain toy that he only gets at diaper changes, the snot sucker, his robeez boots, and anything else that is safe for him to play with in the vicinity of my changing table.  He does not care.

-I have tried using both my terry cloth and flannel cloth wipes, both with a small amount of diluted tea tree oil in the water (I use a wipe warmer), as well as Costco disposable wipes.  

-I sing, try to play games, be silly/entertaining.  Does not work.

-Doesn't matter who is changing his diaper.  He screams.

-Doesn't matter where.  I have tried the floor, my bed, a couple of changing tables in public restrooms when we've been out, etc.  No avail.

-Cleared by the dr today that besides getting over a virus (fever, stuffy nose, cough, lethargy), there is nothing wrong with him.  

 

My baby used to love to lay on his changing table, which is next to a window, and look out at the trees.  Is this normal for an almost-one-year-old?  Do you have any ideas of what may be causing this?  Please help us.  We are miserable.  TIA!

happyhoopla

Around that age my daughter went through the same thing (although to a lesser degree than it sounds like you're dealing with). I think a lot of it had to do simply with the fact that she was becoming more and more mobile and HATED the idea that we were restricting her to her back. Other than distractions (give him a favorite toy BEFORE you start the process to get him focused on it prior to the change) and moving fast, I don't have any great advice. I will say that this phase passed eventually and now I have my sweetie back.

happyhoopla

I just read your other post where you talked about the red area on his urethra. Did you get any answers today? It could be hurting him to pee or right before he pees, so he knows that diaper change=pain and is protesting.

3003girl

We have a saying around our house. "the only thing worse than a dirty diaper is getting your diaper changed" 

We EC too, and have a lot of diaper free time. LO has always hated diaper changes. She screams or kicks tries to roll over most of the time. Good luck, it sucks when you feel like you are torturing your kid. I haven't found a solution. toys work sometimes, or giving her a wipe works sometimes. she sometimes likes to "help" now that she is older. I just can't wait for diapers to be over!

nosoup4u

Does he stand up? You could try changing him while he's standing (but that doesn't work for poop). Can you change him in a different room, like the bathroom, instead? Maybe just lying on the changing table and not having a diaper change, might help. If DS2 is upset about getting laid down, I try to get him to giggle (tickling, singing, being silly) before I even attempt changing his diaper.

KCKappa

Has he just started walking, cruising or crawling? We went through the same thing a couple of months ago, right around the time she started walking. It has since stopped, so I'm with PP that it might just be that he wants to be mobile now that he's figuring it out.

Also, we've used the Costco wipes and our DD seems to be sensitive to them. We switched to cloth wipes with just water and that seemed to help quite a bit, although not completely. If your LO has a red area as PP mentioned, I'd definitely try just water for a while.

Another thing that has helped us recently is signing "change diaper" once we lay her on the changing table. Even if she's fussing, once we sign it, she starts smiling. If you don't already sign, you can see a quick video of each word here: change - https://www.babysignlanguage.com/dictionary/c/change/ and diaper - https://www.babysignlanguage.com/dictionary/d/diaper/.

megahof

nosoup4u:

Does he stand up? Maybe just lying on the changing table and not having a diaper change, might help. 

Hubster and I have tried doing this with our Sophie, as she screamed like a banshee every time her diaper was changed. We're trying to associate the changing table with some positive things - like little leg massages, etc. - rather than have her think of it exclusively as a torture chamber. It seems to work...for the moment, anyway.

JoannaJes

Was he tested for a UTI? The pain with diaper changes and the recent fever would make it a possibility.

TiffanyBerry

Have you tried changing his diaper standing up or sitting up.  Harder, but sometimes works.  Also, try taking his diaper off while he's sitting on your lap or your holding him, then putting him directly on the potty, avoiding the whole laying down thing.  (DD's been generally fabulous about diaper changes, but stuffy noses make things much worse.)

SandiaPinaMama

JoannaJes:

Was he tested for a UTI? The pain with diaper changes and the recent fever would make it a possibility.

This is what I thought, but he got a clean bill of health yesterday (see AW post below).  We were advised to use antibiotic cream on his urethra.  However, this problem started much earlier than all of that.  

Thanks for the tips.  I guess I'll try him sitting up and straight to potty. 

MikesMom12345

DS is a little younger than your LO, and has ALWAYS hated diaper changes.  Friends/family don't believe it until they have seen it because otherwise he is a very happy little guy.  Put him on the diaper table, however, and you would think he was being tortured.  (This happens for diaper changes, and even clothes changes without a diaper change).  The only tried and true thing that I have found is to breastfeed him while changing his diaper.  That being said, it is much easier if DH is home and can do the diaper while I do the feeding, but it IS possible to do both at the same time by myself.  If that isn't working, DS gets my keys and sometimes that does the trick. 

 

Aquabee21

We've been going through the same thing ever since DS started crawling at ~7months but it's gotten especially bad in the last month. He's been doing the same thing getting into the carseat. Doesn't matter what we do to distract him, he throws a tantrum until he can flip over. We don't even use the changing table, just use the floor, he's pretty strong and there's no way I could keep him on the table by myself. If it's just a pee dipe, then I can change him while he's on his hands and knees. Thank goodness for our snapping CDs- getting the fit right is much easier b/c I can just count the # of snaps. And thank goodness this started after his poos got more solid- I can clean him up pretty well even w/ a poo dipe on his hands/knees.

But I can't wait for this phase to end! It does end right? 

shaindelr

A lot of people already said this, but I think it's that they want to be mobile, and putting them on their backs really pi$$e$ them off... Luckily, I cover only about 5% of diaper changes in my household

SandiaPinaMama

shaindelr:

A lot of people already said this, but I think it's that they want to be mobile, and putting them on their backs really pi$$e$ them off... Luckily, I cover only about 5% of diaper changes in my household

So what you're saying is that I simply need to get DH to be a SAHD, and my problem will be solved, huh?

 

Thanks for the tips, ladies.  It turns out that mama was right, and LO does have a bladder infection.  I'm hoping this is the reason that he has been so upset with diaper changes lately.  I also tried reading him a story on the changing table beforehand yesterday, and that really helped.  No crazy fits or anything.    Thanks for the input.