Postpartum Depression
What is my problem??
I'm not really even sure where to start
My son is 16 weeks old; he'll be 4 mos on the 12th. I'm a first time mom.
I am absolutely in love with my baby! I could just stare at him for hours.
I've been back to work for one month now. I'm so busy at work that I really don't have time to think. Then I come home, play with baby, feed baby, get ready for the next day, eat dinner, and it's time for bed...then do it all over again. I basically feel like I'm running and running and running and bit really accomplishing anything. I'm learning that the laundry isn't important, etc., but it still bothers me a little when it's not done.
My biggest concern is my relationship with my husband. The first month the baby was here was awesome. He was so helpful and it was so awesome to have this new little family. Now, I just feel so annoyed by everything he does...or, more appropriately, doesn't do. He'll do whatever I ask...but I always have to ask!! Which basically means that everything baby related is my job. That sucks. Also, recently the way he talks to our son bothers me bc I've realized that he sounds like his mother...who annoys me. It's hard to explain... But his family really annoys me. We have nothing in common. This was the case pre-baby but has gotten much worse. I basically don't want to share my son with them, which I know sounds completely ridiculous. Even typing this makes me seem so crazy. Which is why I'm posting here...am I crazy?? Is all of this just my crazy hormones? Will it go away? I know I need to just change the way I think/feel, specifically related to my in-laws. But for some reason, I can't. Whenever my husband talks about them coming over, I get really tense and annoyed. I know that my baby is lucky to have 2 sets of very loving grandparents, but I'm very partial to my own family. How can I change my attitude? Is this, in addition to my feeling overwhelmed lately, a symptom of PPD? I have no idea... I hate that I sound so selfish and crazy... Thank you for listening!
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Re: What is my problem??
I feel the exact same way you do. My husband is getting on my last nerve. My inlaws disgust me and I hate when they come over and hold my baby. I see how my husband relates to our son and I see his mother in his parenting ways and I want to go crazy. Last summer (b4 baby) he swore up and down that this was his last year with a golf course membership, that once the baby comes things will be different. Well, now he is weaseling his way back to getting one and I will not budge. We can't afford it, he works too many hours, golf takes too many hours to play, etc. There are other bills that need to be paid first before we set aside $1500 for his stupid summer hobby. I understand that husband needs an outlet, but I know he will probably only make it out once a week with the new responsibility at home, and paying as he goes is cheaper than the membership. I'm so sick of dealing with a whiny husband that makes excuses to get what he wants. I just want to take the baby and leave and do this on my own terms. He can visit us between rounds of golf.
He always comes home/wakes up in the morning with the same stupid question about how much the baby slept. "How much did the baby sleep" and no matter what I say he responds "that's good" or "I know how you feel." Listen up a$$, you don't know how I feel. I can count on two hands how many times he's gotten up to feed the baby in the middle of the night and our son is 7 weeks old. Never consecutively either. I do everything. I leave him alone with the baby to run an errand, and my immaculate house is a mess.
So hmm, I don't know if what we're feeling is ppd, but I think that a good night's sleep always helps, or at least a long nap will usually put things into perspective. I think we could both use a long nap. It usually makes me hate dh less...
I feel the same exact way. I wake up at the @$$ crack of dawn to take care of LO and get myself ready for work while DH sleeps till 10 minutes before he has to leave for work. I take LO to daycare, work 9 hours, pick up LO from daycare, bring him home, make dinner, take care of LO till he goes to bed at 830, try to clean up my disaster of a home, and am too tired to move by 930. FORGET about sex...lol.
I totally hear you about having to ask him to do things. It's just expected that we will take care of everything unless their asked to help. *sigh* so frusterating.