Do you ask people to take off their shoes, when they come over?

CountryMile

Do you ask people to take their shoes off when they come over?

Do you take your shoes off when you go to someone else's house? 

I usually take my shoes off when visiting someone's home, unless they say it's okay not to take them off.

 

DS has a therapist that always wears her shoes in our home and she has tracked in snow, slightly muddy shoes and even wet shoes.  Usually her shoes are not too bad but there are days they are a mess.  DS has asked her to take her shoes off, because we always take his shoes off.  She just says no, I like to wear my shoes.  We have wood floors and it wouldn't be a big deal but she does DS therapy in his room that has carpet.  

DH said I should just ask her to take them off next time but I am so embarrassed I don't think I could ask her.  What would you do? (It really isn't that big of a deal, I am just curious) 

hellopoppyseed

No I would never ask people to take their shoes off. Yes I take mine off if I see a big pile of shoes at the door. But we don't have any rules in our house about shoes. It is rude of her to walk through knowingly messy conditions and not even think about taking off shoes. Maybe on bad weather days you could put out a big mat/rug just inside your door and leave everyone else's shoes there lined up. Then when she walks in say "kinda wet and nasty out there huh?" then look down at her shoes. That's as in your face as I could get. 

finally2006

We have a little place for shoes just outside the door and I have this habit of looking at peoples feet after I say hello. And they always follow my gaze and say "Do you want me to take my shoes off?" and I say, "Sure, if you would not mind!" in a really cheery tone. lol. Maybe I am a huge turd but no one is coming in my house with their shoes on.... 

I would ask the therapist to remove her shoes. Maybe tell her after her next visit and suggest she bring slippers... or something. 

luvmyducks

I don't ask but we wear our shoes in our house. I also don't take mine off usually unless I see it is the norm (everyone's shoes are piled at the door). Some homes I have gone to have a sign hanging that asks for shoes to be removed so I do there also. No one has ever asked me to remove shoes. But you could and just say you had the floors cleaned or something. I would 't think twice if someone did. Also, she might not be taking your DS seriously since he's a child. If a child asked me to take my shoes off I would probably think he just likes to take his shoes off or something. 

Rebekah1021

Maybe she has a foot problem? I don't ask people to take off shoes

Court0026

We do not wear shoes in the house and my kids are funny about it.  They will tell people "we don't wear shoes in the house".  I don't know many people who wear shoes in other people's houses aside from grandparents who are weird about it in DH's family.  I don't think it is rude to ask, I think it is ridiculously rude to leave muddy, wet shoes on.  RIDICULOUSLY.  I am getting more assertive.  I remember when my kids were crawling on the floor getting really mad about shoes, but not saying anything. 

LynsiBHM

My MIL had a party on a nasty rainy day a few weeks ago. She asked guests (via facebook) on the day of the party to bring slippers to wear. I thought it was tacky (they have wood floors- no carpet, if that matters) but guests did it and some thought it was a "fun idea."

I would feel weird asking a guest to take off their shoes upon entering the house, but have asked close friends to wipe their feet well on the mat. If there's snow, people track in sand/salt from the walkway and I don't want my son getting it all over him.

I have been asked, though at others' houses. I always wish I wore better socks, LOL

ToastieSimons

Yep.  Our therapist always takes her shoes off before coming in the house. If she didn't, I wouldn't hesitate to ask.  We have light colored carpeting and DS is only just crawling.  He spends his entire day on that floor and I don't want him crawling through dirt, mud, germs etc.  I try to vacuum as often as possible but I don't want to be cleaning grime off too.

I've only had to ask one or two people to do it because most see that we take ours off. 

trizzie

We don't wear shoes in our house, but I never ask people to take theirs off. I feel so rude doing it. My MIL makes people take shoes off at her house and it rubbed me the wrong way (the way she handles it), so I won't do it.  If the weather is nasty and we have people over, I lay out big towels at the entry so at least their shoes get wiped off. Most of the time people take them off in that case though (and we have all wood floors).

penguingrrl

If I were going somewhere to offer professional services I would feel very weird about taking shoes off. It might sound odd, but to me that signifies intimacy and a casual relationship whereas keeping shoes on helps retain professional distance. When picking an outfit to go to work in I think seriously about what shoes I wear. I might be wearing old socks or no socks and not painted nails, either of which would make it really embarrassing to take my shoes off.

That said, while I generally take my shoes off at home my husband rarely does, so I don't consider my floors pristine.

4LittleDuckies

I would ask. In our house I always ask people to take off their shoes because we have a LO in the house!

Mrs.Hizzo

I find it awkward and uncomfortable to be asked to take off my shoes. It really bugs me. Like a pp said, what if I was down to my last pair of socks (with a hole in the toe) or in desperate need of a pedicure (which I'm not great about doing in the winter)? Or maybe I'm wearing loafers with no socks and I know for a fact that my feet stink?

I don't know, I just think that asking someone to remove an article of clothing before entering your house basically implies that you value your floors much more than the company of the person walking on them. 

Arnegard

Do you people take their shoes off when they come over?
Yes.  I live in ND and it is standard around here.  No one wants to walk in with snowy, wet or muddy shoes in someone's house - or in your own.

Do you take your shoes off when you go to someone else's house?
Yes, I is standard around here.

Asking people to take their shoes off around here is not asked, it is implied.

HarrietNJMommy

No, I don't tell people to take their shoes off and I typically don't take my shoes off at other people's houses unless asked.

I find it rude unless it's part of your culture.  

ijustcantthinkrightnow

I've not had to ask anyone to take their shoes off (yet). I don't know that I would really. Most of our visitors (MIL/FIL, my mom  & SD) take their shoes off when they come it. That could be because we are always in socks and shoes are near the door, I don't know.

FWIW, all that being said, our therapists that come take their shoes off at the door. Today is the only time that didn't happen and she actually asked if it was ok to leave her shoes on, which I was a-ok with her doing.

Rebekah1021

Mrs.Hizzo:

I don't know, I just think that asking someone to remove an article of clothing before entering your house basically implies that you value your floors much more than the company of the person walking on them. 

Good point!! 

eaglesfan700

HarrietNJMommy:

No, I don't tell people to take their shoes off and I typically don't take my shoes off at other people's houses unless asked.

I find it rude unless it's part of your culture.  

Ditto this.

Dochas

It's part of my culture to not have people waking mud through my house.  How on earth could you walk through someone's house with mud all over your shoes!

HarrietNJMommy

Dochas:

It's part of my culture to not have people waking mud through my house.  How on earth could you walk through someone's house with mud all over your shoes!

Well, I don't live in a muddy area, and if it's raining, people wipe their shoes on my outdoor and indoor mat. 

Mrs.Hizzo

HarrietNJMommy:

Dochas:

It's part of my culture to not have people waking mud through my house.  How on earth could you walk through someone's house with mud all over your shoes!

Well, I don't live in a muddy area, and if it's raining, people wipe their shoes on my outdoor and indoor mat. 

Ditto this. And how much mud gets on someone's shoes when they walk from their car up your front walk to your door? 

CountryMile

Mrs.Hizzo:

HarrietNJMommy:

Dochas:

It's part of my culture to not have people waking mud through my house.  How on earth could you walk through someone's house with mud all over your shoes!

Well, I don't live in a muddy area, and if it's raining, people wipe their shoes on my outdoor and indoor mat. 

Ditto this. And how much mud gets on someone's shoes when they walk from their car up your front walk to your door? 

 

Thanks everyone! I've never asked anyone to take their shoes off and I am not sure I am going to start! To answer the question about mud we are live in a condo and it is a small walk to get to our door.  There is a sidewalk, but I have a feeling she cuts through the grass area otherwise there would be no need to have muddy shoes.  DS other therapist take their shoes off; DS is almost done with therapy so this will be solved soon.  haha!

Ilumine

I have kids and dogs/cat.  I do not sweat the small stuff. 

The fact is, my carpets are going to get "dirty" from daily usage (spills, mud tracked in by the pets, missed food stains hidden underneath sleeves, marker transfer, etc). 

What is on the bottom of people's shoes is no more dirty than what normally happens in my house.

As for the "germs" issue.  Unless I expect everyone in my house to wear booties while using the bathroom (and taking them off before they leave the room), there is as much chance of transferring fecal matter, etc, by my husband or teenager using the toilet, as someone tracking it in on their heels.

HELL, the bottom of most women's purses are covered with the nasty germs people are suppossedly trying to avoid. 

So no, I do not ask people to take off their shoes.  But I will be polite if I am asked or if the person I am visiting meets me at the door with just their socks on. 

je2161

I do the whole 'look at your shoes as you come in to encourage you to take them off' maneuver. However, if it is nasty weather outside, I am not opposed to nicely asking a friend to take off her shoes. I have a crawler and want to keep her play area clean.

I probably wouldn't ask a professional to take off her shoes. I don't have 'professionals' (accountant, attorney, etc) come to my house typically, but I understand the whole 'vulnerability/intimacy' aspect of being shoe-less. Plus, an accountant would typically just stay at the dining room table, as opposed to all over the house like a friend would.

shortstuff15

Mrs.Hizzo:

HarrietNJMommy:

Dochas:

It's part of my culture to not have people waking mud through my house.  How on earth could you walk through someone's house with mud all over your shoes!

Well, I don't live in a muddy area, and if it's raining, people wipe their shoes on my outdoor and indoor mat. 

Ditto this. And how much mud gets on someone's shoes when they walk from their car up your front walk to your door? 

I seriously think this is a states thing because I have never been to a house where people where shoes in the house.  Literally never.  The shoes come off regardless of the weather outside and regardless of your outfit - so dress shoes, flip flops, runners, etc... all come off.  I don't view shoes as an article of clothing so being asked (which I have never been because shoes always come off anyway) to take them off isn't offensive.  They are shoes.  They are meant to be worn outside.  Inside = no shoes.

lisamoe

No.  My carpet in my living room in shot to sh!t, so I dont care too much.  I do have a place for shoes when people first come in, so if they feel like they want to they can.

jandb2011

I have problems with my feet, legs, and hips.  I'm supposed to wear shoes from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night.  On the rare occasions I have felt obligated to remove my shoes, I end up in a lot of pain.  I've also known several other people with various medical reasons that require wearing shoes, at all times.

Maybe the therapist has a medical issue that prevents her from wanting to remove her shoes?

That being said, I try to make sure my shoes don't get dirty, muddy, etc., so that I don't track anything in people's homes (including my own).

Years ago, I knew a family that kept a supply of little booties (like clean-room/bunny suit type booties), that people could just slip on over their shoes.  It worked pretty well.  Maybe you could find something like that to use?

PnJ Mooney

I mostly lurk here...but from a professional standpoint, we were required to keep shoes on for personal safety.  I did home health nursing before I became a SAHM.  Anything in a patient's house was considered "unclean".  I couldn't even set my bag down on a surface without first laying out a paper mat. 

I think if it's important to you, have those plastic shower caps things available for those not comfortable taking off their shoes.

regenab

No, but I also have almost all tile floors in my home and live in FL (no snow). If I had carpet all throughout my home, I might ask people to take off their shoes. If I go to someones home that has all carpet and I see the shoes all at the front door, I take mine off or ask if they want me to take mine off. But walking on carpet in shoes makes me feel weird anyway (my grandmother raised me and had a strict no shoes on the carpet policy).

If you have carpet, I would ask her to take her shoes off. She probably doesn't even realize it because she is in and out of so many homes everyday. If you have tile or wood, I would not make a big deal out of it and just clean up afterward, she is not in your home all that long or that many days I am sure. Kids yes, they are coming and going everyday, they need to take off those muddy/snowy boots and keep them at the door.

Rink08

Usually I do. We have a white & gray tile floor covering most of our main level and many beige carpets.(Original owners did not have kids and we plan to replace most of these if we end up buying the house.) When we host large gatherings like parties or holiday get togethers, I don't because I expect the clean up afterwards.

I take mine off at other people's homes unless they say that we don't need to. 

Andrewsgal

No and I would find it rude if someone asked me too. I sometimes work professionally in peoples homes, I am there to do a job and would never take off my shoes at work. It is so odd to me that people think it is okay to ask someone this. What states do you people live in that this is okay, I have lived all over the south and this would never be standard.

ballet84

I don't like shoes in our house. If I have people coming over, I put a couple pairs of shoes by the door and hope they notice and follow suit. They usually ask if they should take off their shoes and I tell them that I would appreciate it. I don't make a big deal if someone leaves them on, but that rarely ever happens.

I also have a dog that goes out back, but I always check her paws and have a towel by the back door to give them a quick wipe before she comes in.

I have wall to wall carpeting and it is beige. I'd like to keep it looking nice until we can replace it with hardwood someday. Shoes in the kitchen are ok, b/c I can easily and quickly steam mop any dirt or mud. Not so easy on the carpet.

Honestly, if someone came to my house and gave me a hard time about not wanting them to wear shoes on my carpet...they wouldn't be invited back over. It seems like a silly thing to get upset about.

Sharon21

I am really surprised by some of these responses. I don't think it is rude AT ALL to ask someone to remove their shoes at the door. What I think is rude is for someone not to offer to take them off. It is my house and I am inviting you into my home, respect it. 

I have never actually had to ask anyone to take their shoes off. We have a bench that holds shoes right by our door and none of us wear them in the house. People usually get the hint and take theirs off and if they don't take them off automatically they usually ask if I want them too. If it is crappy weather I say "yes, please" if it is not I tell them whatever they are comfortable with.  

Mrs.V

It must be a regional thing because here, everyone removes their shoes at the door. It would be very strange to have someone walk in with their shoes on!!