Would you?

Julie581

I have a friend on fb that is currently holding a "fundraiser" to cover her infertility treatments. I put fundraiser in quotes because all it really is, is a plea to send her money. I understand that all of us struggle with paying for our treatments. But when I think of fundraiser there's usually something to it. A bake sale, a tupperware party, something, not just a plea for cash. 

She sent me an invite to her event, which I politely declined, but it made me think. Honestly, I would never just outright for others to pay for this. Actually, I'd just be happy if insurance would pick up some of the costs. (Which they don't touch infertility at all, so I could definitely use a fundraiser of my own lol) I tried to give her some suggestions for making extra cash, but she just blew those ideas off. Personally, I'm doing everything I can to make the money I need to pay for this stuff.

I know she's getting a lot of negativity back on this. I think it's because people see her post and think "if you can't afford the $300 for the appt. what makes you think you can afford the baby?" 

Would any of you do this? Is it wrong of me to think this is a bit tacky?  

ukyankee

Gross.  There is no way I'd do it and I wouldn't support it.  We spent years saving for our IVF, and have given up some things to do this.  

MelleTX

There is no way I would do that. Fertility treatments are expensive. Just like most, I am OOP for my upcoming IVF. I could never ask friends and family to contribute - especially not on Facebook. Very tacky!

I have to come up with about $12k for IVF. I have scrimped and saved, and taken a 0% interest for 18 months loan off one of my credit cards. This weekend, I am going through all my closets and storage to clear out items I can sell on eBay or Craig's list - including a few of my favorite Coach purses. 

You do what you have to do, but you don't panhandle on Facebook. 

10-4LilBuddy

Wow.  That is tacky.  I hate how expensive treatment is - even if you have insurance too!  But I wouldn't panhandle for just hand outs.  I'd ask for money making suggestions instead and work for it.  

happywifemomofone

Very tacky....nope would never do this.  When you involve lots of other people-they expect to have updates of your progress/outcome.  It's really hard when you don't get lucky with your first, or second, or more-IVF attempts.  Being so public is a personal choice.  Many people start out public, but then go underground to not have to share this information. 

brooklynesque

That does seem tacky to me, especially because it is such a public request for money.  Are all her friends "invited" to this event, or just close friends and family?  Even then . . . I don't think I'd ever even think about doing this.  

ForTheLoveOf Pink

I saw a person on FB that has done this.......it is a NO WAY in my book. However, maybe if it was a friend doing the fundraiser for me and for sure there would be no way that I would be able to go to the function. It would be extremely embarassing and demoralizing  IMHO.....I still think it borders on the wrong side of morality.

MrsNukem

I think basically asking for handouts or donations is tacky, especially for something so personal (I wouldn't want to broadcast to the world of FB that I am going through IVF).  However, I have a friend on FB who is doing fundraising for her 2nd adoption of a child in China.  She does offer things to bid on for example, a Tiffany's bracelet, and other items donated to her, so in a sense it is a true fundraiser in that you get something in return for donating, not just giving a free handout.

MelleTX

I also have a friend on Facebook who is selling handmade crosses to help pay for her adoption. Clearly they are overpriced, but you are buying them knowing where the money is going. And it shows she is working hard and not just asking for handouts.

Faithfullyinlove

Heck naw......I couldn't dream of doing something like this!  We wouldn't ask anyone to help us and it's all OOP for us!

Julie581

Glad I'm not the only one that thinks this is tacky lol She invited everyone on her friends list to her little fundraiser. The message was something like "if everyone sends me a dollar, then I can go to the doctor."  My only thought was so after you see the doctor then you'll be back asking for more to cover the first set of tests, then more for the next round, etc. I understand how she feels, but I could never do something like that. I even had a friend offer to do a "real" fundraiser for me and I refused. I just couldn't imagine doing that. Lots of people have told me to ask my family for cash, and that's not gonna happen either lol 

 Oh well.... off to do more surveys, Superpoints and stuff. Gotta keep building my savings account   

mtlaurel

"Tacky" is an inadequate description. I would never, and trust me, we could use all the help we could get doing DE IVF completely OOP. Actually, I would probably be so ashamed of her, especially after you suggested ways that she could make some additional $$, that I'd have to re-think the friendship.

Julie581

There have been a few times when I've thought about removing her from fb friends, but I never do. She's great about helping me with my Cafe World goals lol Yes, I am addicted to that game  

Plus, I'm a bit worried about her. Not sure how long she plans on pushing this idea, and not quite sure how she'll react when she realizes that it isn't working. Not only is this a bad idea, but I think she's really setting herself up for a big fall.